FA+
Shop
Physician, heal thyself!
9 years ago
I want to do great things for the world. And who wouldn't? The world is in dire need of great things! But before I attempt that, I have so much to sort out in myself.
It isn't easy. I feel a certain urgency in light of the very real possibility of a social, political, or climatic disaster to be part of the solution, and I can be loud, obnoxious, and opinionated about those issues I'm most concerned with. I have big ideas and big plans that I want so badly to see put in action. I feel like I could do a lot for the world if I could find my voice and be heard.
But then I have to stop myself.
The whole of my experience of Gnosis, from the first glimmer of an idea that the concept of God was somehow different from what I'd been led to believe to the present moment, has been a long, drawn-out process of sorting myself out and figuring out what kind of person I really am by watching that person be torn down and rebuilt brick-by-brick.
That's what Gnosis does. It isn't easy. The Gospel of Thomas says “when they find, they shall be disturbed.” That's a very accurate statement. It's the beam of light that sears into you and calls out what your true condition is: there is a spark of the divine there, but like any spark you have to nourish it or it will never serve you. To nourish it, you must be like the alchemical salamander: to purify by fire, that is to subject yourself to an uncompromising examination of your life, thoughts, and values.
In my case, I know that many of my thought patterns come from fear and insecurity. That has been abundantly clear whenever I've been perfectly honest with myself. When one is fearful and insecure, one's decisions might be made with the very best intentions but the outcome will usually be bad. Fearful people are full of mistrust and insecure people are full of hatred, and that mistrust and hatred is directed as much inward as it is outward. The divine manifestation within our being cannot realize itself because it cannot know, trust, or love itself, and one's inner guidance is taken over by the lower parts of the psyche, the chaff of your wheat crop.
The last hundred years or so have been an almost constant stream of fearful, insecure people who commiserate with fearful, insecure leaders with whom they gladly march into tyranny, genocide, slavery, and war. I've seen the fruits of the fearful leading the fearful become worse and worse for three successive lifetimes now. In two successive lifetimes, I've had to live under the shadow of fearful, insecure people with their finger on the button that could destroy all of us.
The world doesn't need any more fearful, insecure people and it certainly doesn't need them trying to push some big idea that's informed by fear and insecurity. Before I take Holy Orders, I intend to purge as much of that fear and insecurity as I can and replace it with love, understanding, and temperance.
For this reason I will be updating this group from time to time, but only rarely until I find I have made some real progress.
It isn't easy. I feel a certain urgency in light of the very real possibility of a social, political, or climatic disaster to be part of the solution, and I can be loud, obnoxious, and opinionated about those issues I'm most concerned with. I have big ideas and big plans that I want so badly to see put in action. I feel like I could do a lot for the world if I could find my voice and be heard.
But then I have to stop myself.
The whole of my experience of Gnosis, from the first glimmer of an idea that the concept of God was somehow different from what I'd been led to believe to the present moment, has been a long, drawn-out process of sorting myself out and figuring out what kind of person I really am by watching that person be torn down and rebuilt brick-by-brick.
That's what Gnosis does. It isn't easy. The Gospel of Thomas says “when they find, they shall be disturbed.” That's a very accurate statement. It's the beam of light that sears into you and calls out what your true condition is: there is a spark of the divine there, but like any spark you have to nourish it or it will never serve you. To nourish it, you must be like the alchemical salamander: to purify by fire, that is to subject yourself to an uncompromising examination of your life, thoughts, and values.
In my case, I know that many of my thought patterns come from fear and insecurity. That has been abundantly clear whenever I've been perfectly honest with myself. When one is fearful and insecure, one's decisions might be made with the very best intentions but the outcome will usually be bad. Fearful people are full of mistrust and insecure people are full of hatred, and that mistrust and hatred is directed as much inward as it is outward. The divine manifestation within our being cannot realize itself because it cannot know, trust, or love itself, and one's inner guidance is taken over by the lower parts of the psyche, the chaff of your wheat crop.
The last hundred years or so have been an almost constant stream of fearful, insecure people who commiserate with fearful, insecure leaders with whom they gladly march into tyranny, genocide, slavery, and war. I've seen the fruits of the fearful leading the fearful become worse and worse for three successive lifetimes now. In two successive lifetimes, I've had to live under the shadow of fearful, insecure people with their finger on the button that could destroy all of us.
The world doesn't need any more fearful, insecure people and it certainly doesn't need them trying to push some big idea that's informed by fear and insecurity. Before I take Holy Orders, I intend to purge as much of that fear and insecurity as I can and replace it with love, understanding, and temperance.
For this reason I will be updating this group from time to time, but only rarely until I find I have made some real progress.
