I want to tell my story somewhere. Like, about the things I've gone through this year and my experiences with being LGBT. I never really said it before because I was kinda lucky most of the time. The important people in my life accepted it, I wasn't homeless over it, it was just a part of my life that I didn't have to focus on or be upset about.

I guess I had one old friend who's extremely right-wing and judged me for it, but I stopped talking to him a long time ago. The whole thing with my mother has left me in a weird mental state. This isn't the first time in my life that I've lost everything, but it's been especially hard because well, my mom always told my sister and I that she'd always love us even if we turned out gay. I truly respected her as a kid and she single-handedly raised us for a chunk of my childhood.

I've... Gotten to a point where I'm upset with who/what I am. Like, if only I had been "normal", Anna wouldn't have left, my mother wouldn't have kicked me out. I would've still had something. I've grown to know the despair of hating what I am.

I dunno guys. I'm sorry for getting so personal all the time. I've lost two watchers, probably because I'm going through a hard time and I'm reaching out to you for support. I try not to let my watcher count get to me. I've got a friend who deletes his accounts on places because he doesn't see himself as popular enough, and I don't want to think like that. I want to be optimistic and know that with due time, my art will improve and I'll be able to do commissions like I want to.

So thanks for putting up with me, for those who've stuck around and will continue to offer me support. Two people who really deserve huge shout-outs from me are  lealong and  freelapse.

As for telling my story like I mentioned before, I'm going to find a way. Maybe I can find some support for the grief I've gone through this year.