Ive come to accept that im meant to be on my own and alone. Ive worked out that im easially ignorable and forgetable and to be honest that makes sense. Im not very good at starting conversation im not an interesting person i struggle to maintain freindships and i have issues that frankly i dont wish to burden people with.
Its not nice to feel ignored its even worse to figure out that your ignored because of your own doing even with the best will in the world i have trouble being the one to send the first message. And this is before i even reflect on my IRL situation. I have tried and ive still ended up somehow being over looked people who would message me first generally dont anymore, those who were the closest to me or have even said they loved me dont even acknoladge i exist now that they have someone or something better in their lives.
So ive come to the conclusion that this is how its meant to be, im meant to be on my tod (hah, fox, tod im so clever).