http://www.sonnets.org/ralegh.htm
It's actually not about things a Gay Stoner Dog would necessarily like at all...

Three things there be that prosper up apace
And flourish, whilst they grow asunder far;
But on a day, they meet all in one place,
And when they meet, they one another mar.
And they be these: the wood, the weed, the wag.
The wood is that which makes the gallow tree;
The weed is that which strings the hangman's bag;
The wag, my pretty knave, betokeneth thee.
Mark well, dear boy, whilst these assemble not,
Green springs the tree, hemp grows, the wag is wild;
But when they meet, it makes the timber rot,
It frets the halter, and it chokes the child.
Then bless thee, and beware, and let us pray
We part not with thee at this meeting day.

jail

uuuuuuuuUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH

may this laundry hamper lowered upon you be your eternal resting place

You think you trapped me here, but I can and will keep going. You have stopped nothing.



I can still serve drinks from jail, you see.

yeah but... you've been hampered

this is the fate that awaits all puns