Anxiety, sadness, depression, stress, anger, self loathing, jealousy, distrust, instability, questioning, unhappy. A slew of emotions i've been having over the last couple of weeks. Putting on faces to deal with family, friends. Long stream of consciousness journals to myself. Self realization that i'm not happy. Unsure of the future. Unable to get nagging thoughts out of my mind. Being my own worst enemy. Eating away at my own psyche. Unhappy.

Not sure where I'm going, how i'll get there, or whats going to happen. A feeling of no control over my life or myself. Why make this journal I don't fucking know. Why share this? I don't know a hope that it'll make me feel a little better. Goodness knows what'll work. I want to stop feeling this way. I want to feel content and happy again. But currently don't know how. Masquerading as happy.

I hope everyone else has been having a better time than I have.
I may delete this in the near future I don't know.