i have insomnia, and i'm out pouring my depresseion in here -.-

i've been really depressed lately because i feel like i might be losing Vee

she got mated to Sasha and when i express my uncomfortable feelings about it, she yells at me, then calmly te;lls me i'm overreacting and that it will be alright

for the record: the main reason they are together as online mates, is because of me. i got woken up one morning at 5am and had to hurry and pack my bags and leave the house to hurry and catch a bus in Ohio so i could go on my Senior Trip. I lost contact with Vee for a couple of days due to this, and she overreacted and thought i left her, which made her depressed.

Sasha talked with her, and felt bad for her, and thusly decided that if she were Vee's mate, maybe she could make Vee feel better.Odd thing to note, Vee never told Sasha i was her mate already -.- and not only that, but when Sasha heard about me and Vee agreeing on an openmateship online. Due to her insisting on it when i hinted at it once before. She automatically assumed i'd say yes, ad put it in her profile that her and Vee were mates.

Vee also sent me something she said before that struck me as jealousy. it was, and i quote "..you're so lucky, i wish i had a mate like you, then everything would be perfect..." might be slightly off, but that was the general idea.

i hardly know Sasha for one thing. and two, i'm tired of the openmateship thing and want to go back to being closed, but Vee keeps fighting me on it because she doesn't want to hurt Sasha she says, that she's gotten attached -.-

and then i surf her FA and DA pages and see all the "Love you swetheart" comments and such, and it's just like shoving a knife deep intp my heart TT

i don't care if i come off as an overreactive, overprotective ass or anything. i know i have Vee in real life, and i love her with all my heart. But i don't think it's asking much to help my insecurity issues by being only with me online too -.-

oh well, time to curl up in a ball and wait to die, not much else i can do since i'm stuck in this openmateship hell, seeing as i can't leave the mates i have, becasue Vee says she'll leave me TT

see you all in heaven, or hell....not sure which one i'm going to...

-Eva-