Been a while since I've properly updated the journals. I've been really busy with a lot of things and making some lovely friends on FA; the "I owe some art to some people" side of me got a little bit sidetracked, and as of today I'm really buckling down on that while I have only one piece of personal content left to make for myself before I can say I'm "caught up" in my own work.
With that said, the third raffle prize winner is  Kirin_Ash I will note you for some details on your prize later!

Now, I've been having some internal qualms and struggles over the kind of content I want to provide, or even what it says about me.
It's one thing to run my really cute ask blog that's just full of fluff and bright colors and smiles. Another to run a semi-serious little comic with my OCs and their true personalities and a story with a bunch of interesting themes I want to explore over time.
And the first two fit together pretty well, but then there's the nsfw stuff. I almost feel like it just... -sticks out- like a sore thumb next to what I would call my 'usual' content. I don't dislike it, but it does make for a big juxtaposition in what I want to do with my characters and my art.

I really do enjoy drawing my nsfw, but I've made some big deals and precautions to point out that it's all out-of-character and noncanon when placed next to the rest of my art. Maybe that's enough! Maybe that's really all I have to do, and everyone would just be okay with it.
But I've been having this really big internal struggle over it. I -want- to draw more of it, but I don't know how much of it is okay. I don't know if it stands out TOO much next to the usual stuff. I don't know when nsfw -becomes- the new usual.

I know some people have separate sfw and nsfw accounts, and maybe that's a better option to try to go after. Keeps all the specific kinds of content in their own specific areas. But I have a hard enough time managing a single account that the idea of opening a second one, and then moving all of my nsfw to it and updating it often enough seems a bit intimidating.
I'm not against the idea, it just SEEMS like a big deal when I think about it.

Either a- a new nsfw FA or tumblr blog... or both! Y'know, when I made that Lillian ask blog, I was kind of expecting a lot more naughty content to make its way there, but it all became so cute and innocent that I just want to keep it safe like that. And I'm perfectly fine with that.

Man... I have rambled on WAY too much about this already and I only feel like I've started to scratch the surface on how I feel. Like I feel like two different people sometimes: one that wants to work on comics and make cute innocent art, and one that just wants to corrupt characters and make everyone fuck. And I really feel like I have to suppress the latter person to make for a good public appearance.

*shrugs to the moon*
Hey, if you read all this, thank you so much for taking the time to explore some of my vent and struggle. Maybe it's dumb, maybe it's not, I don't even know.
Regardless, this isn't effecting commission work or anything. I think I just need to feel a little "justification" in what I'm doing when I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing! ehehehe
anyway, yeah, thank you for reading.