I know it’s a different experience for everyone, but I was in this situation when I was 20 going on 21. But, when you love doing something more than anything else there is not a lock big enough in the world to prevent you from doing it.

I know of where I speak because I hurt badly when I was in surroundings that took me away from myself. But, it wasn't long before things came together in the way they were meant to :) I hope you can find some answers and happiness soon because nobody deserves to feel this way.

....I hope so. I long for peace, inside and out. In truth, I haven't felt happy...like really happy....in a while. It's not healthy and Im sick of it ;_;

Thanks so.much for your time, your words and concern though!!

Okay, the first thing: It is not you. You are not the problem. Different things make people happy or unhappy and it's just a way it is; some enjoy public speaking, others would probably pass out on stage because of stress (...like me).
I think if you're unhappy, stressed, worn out in your work and there's no satisfaction in it at all, there's probably something terribly wrong. Maybe it's the workplace itself, people around, etc.? Is there anything else you always wanted to try?

You're such a wonderful person, don't let negative emotions get you :< Whatever you decide, you always have my support.

Owh Ana thank you.....

I really, really don't like disappointing people, and it made me feel like a liability, even if I did my best. It's the work really--I had never thought it would be this overwhelming, and it just kept piling up in too soon a time. The people are neat, but the work. Urgh!! I felt like I was drowning.

Thank you for your comforting words, that you support me....and think I'm wonderful (sometimes I don't feel that way but really....thanks ) I feel eased hearing this

Not going to say if it's your fault or works or whatever, because honestly that DOESN'T matter at all... if you hate a job, you HATE a job, regardless of why. there might be other things, but we know this job is one, and I think you should find another one, start looking on you time off, you know? fuck a job if you are miserable at it, and it's one of the reasons why I love having no debt. I can say fuck that job and leave it

if you wanna talk about this stuff, I'm free ;w;

Thank you for your words-- and you are right, if I hate this job then seriously fuck it. I won't miss the pressure, or the endless piling work. Urgh, I swear I didn't have it this bad until this work came along.

I'm already looking for alternatives *scoots about*

Thank you again dear

You don't owe anyone an apology, life comes first.

Is it the work or the people? Is it what you're doing or the environment you're having to do it in?

If you're unhappy you should be looking for alternatives. At your age, and for someone of your caliber, there is no reason to feel stuck or trapped in any job.

I hope things turn around for you very soon. My ear's always free if you want to talk or vent. Take care Reiks.

"You don't owe anyone an apology. Life comes first."
Omg I need to like drill that in my head sometimes!! I forget about making myself first because I worry about....finance.

But enough is enough. My colleagues are great but the work is just too damn much and the pressure is awful. I come home mentally gone and emotionally wracked because I don't have energy to do the things I love.

I hope so T ;_; Unemployment is very real here, but I feel like I can manage my way. No job is better than this job....I really have had enough.

Thanks for being there, T

I've been in that head space for a while myself over the years at my current job.

I figured out in steps that you need to take your job apart and classify every part of it.
- What do you enjoy?
- What don't you enjoy?

Can you influence either in any way?
Perhaps there's something wrong in the way your company handles things? Maybe you need to speak up to your superiors or all the way to the top that there might be a better way of doing things.

Are your colleges fun engaging etc.
Are your clients fun engaging etc.

Clients sadly you can't influence terribly much, but there are methods to communication that evoke sympathy and understanding two ways. I know there's definitely a culture difference, and that those techniques might not work everywhere.

Maybe you're simply overworking? Are you doing 40 hours? Or is it FAR more.
Are you finding ways of unloading your negative energy?

Work will ALWAYS have a certain amount of negative energy, finding ways to cope with it is key.

Do you take work home with you? I make it a point NEVER to take work home with me in ANY form. This leads to long term bad habits and will cost you your health in the long run.


The point of this advice is take a good look at everything that plays a role, dissect it per piece, since going at it as a whole will not work.

I like your logical approach to this--- and honestly when I read your words, I did start making a list! It helped clarify my mind and made me really think about my priorities in life, what I want in a workplace, and as well as areas I could build up more.

I only saw my pain but looking at the dissected view of things, even then I saw a picture I didn't like. I did infact, bring things up with my superiors about this after having thought things through. And well, needless to say, I'm not convinced on staying. Some things, people, just don't click. And I can't ignore my bad feelings anymore.

Thanks still, Riptor, for being there for me, for taking the time to write up this wonderful advice <3

i could offer advice all day long if you wanted but i don't think that's what your looking for. seems like you want a vent and an outlet firstly, just to get a grasp on what your feeling, and sometimes it helps to just get it out like you've done.

i got your back Reiks, you send me a note anytime you want to chat and lay it on me. us foxes have pretty damn good ears and im happy to point them at you. ill wait for a note and if none comes then ill only be sitting here cheering you on and waiting for your next vent in journal form.

go Reiks! you rock!

Ahahahaha!! Thanks so much Aphekt, for the kind words and the support! It really is appreciated, really-- you two have been there with me from the start with your support and that means a whole lot of me :)

Venting helps me clear my mind. I feel like I know what I need to do next now tho...

And so sorry about not replying to your notes D': Rest assured, once I wrap this sh*t up I will get back to art I owe.

Thanks again so much guys...!!!