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My cat passed away this weekend.
9 years ago
General
I loved that cat. I loved her so fucking much. And the way she was always so happy to see me, I could tell she loved me back.
I... wanted to post something here in memory of her. But right now I don't feel like I can. There's both so much I want to say, yet at the same I know saying even absolutely everything won't change that she's gone.
She was my favorite cat. I never wanted her sisters to get the impression that she was the favorite, but there was no fucking doubt in my mind that she was. She was just so damn lovable.
She was always so chill and calm. Quiet too; I sometimes wished she meowed more, but I guess that's because it was so rare that I got to hear her meow.
When she died... when she was dying... in her final moments, she was gasping for breath. The way her body would tense up though, and how she opened her mouth, I honestly don't know if it was about breathing or meowing. The more that moment replays itself in my head, the more it seems like she was trying with her last dying breaths to meow.
And I genuinely can only think of two reasons she would do that.
Either she was terrified... or she could tell how upset I was... and was trying to comfort me...
I can't write any more. I'm crying too hard thinking about it.
Please, if you have a cat--hell, if you have any pet you love... go make sure they know it.
I miss her so fucking much right now.
I... wanted to post something here in memory of her. But right now I don't feel like I can. There's both so much I want to say, yet at the same I know saying even absolutely everything won't change that she's gone.
She was my favorite cat. I never wanted her sisters to get the impression that she was the favorite, but there was no fucking doubt in my mind that she was. She was just so damn lovable.
She was always so chill and calm. Quiet too; I sometimes wished she meowed more, but I guess that's because it was so rare that I got to hear her meow.
When she died... when she was dying... in her final moments, she was gasping for breath. The way her body would tense up though, and how she opened her mouth, I honestly don't know if it was about breathing or meowing. The more that moment replays itself in my head, the more it seems like she was trying with her last dying breaths to meow.
And I genuinely can only think of two reasons she would do that.
Either she was terrified... or she could tell how upset I was... and was trying to comfort me...
I can't write any more. I'm crying too hard thinking about it.
Please, if you have a cat--hell, if you have any pet you love... go make sure they know it.
I miss her so fucking much right now.
I can only imagine the pain you're goin through, Caeru...
Listen, if you ever need someone to talk to, I do listen, and that's better than advice most of the time. My skype is on my profile if you wanna vent.
I tell a lot of people this, but I only do so because it's true. I know pain, and I know that talkin can help a lot. I don't like seein' good people suffer in any way, so just add me if you feel like it. I'm always on unless specified otherwise in my status message.
I don't know. I'm still just really out of it, I guess. It's hit me pretty hard.
I hope that you can rest easier knowing that she's in a better place now.
But I wouldn't go back and change that. The only thing I fucking wanted--hell, the only thing I still want--was for her to know just how much I loved her. For her to know how much joy and happiness she had brought me, for her to know what a wonderful, amazing, incredible cat she had always been. I wanted so fucking badly in that moment for her to just know how much she was loved...
I don't ever plan to get any more pets. There's multiple reasons for this, but at the top of the list... I don't think I can handle losing another one.
I hope it takes you less time to heal, than it did for me.