I start to realize how much I focus on negative things.
I do have a couple of online friends and a few I know in person, yet I only focus on the friends I wasn't able to make. When it comes to me trying to chat with people that are not easy or even impossible to socialize with I can talk for a long while and also keep thinking about it: How can I improve? what should I have said? What am I doing wrong?
It's difficult for me to come up with something to talk about with online friends that are doing ok. Seems that I can only focus on the things I do wrong or other things that aren't enjoyable, so much that it's hard for me to focus on things that are going well.
It's kinda more like I'm overly cautious of negative things that might happen that I can't see the positive ones.
It kinda became a bad habit I guess, not like telling me to stop thinking that way will really work.

I probably could go into more detail but I'm a bit tired now.