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I am hamster
9 years ago
General
I start by saying I am not a writer! Gamer police be warned. Writing is not a strong point of mine. But I needed to put some thoughts on paper. As this is deeply personal I know I’m not the only fur feeling lost. If my words help one fur know there not alone I would be happy
I have always been a very extraverted person. I can walk in a bar alone and leave with a room full of friends. But a true and lasting friendship I have known very few. Excepting my self has been a challenge. If I cannot except myself I never figured anyone else would. I have always considered myself gay. And that was hard enough to deal with. Spending most my teens and early 20 sleeping around figuring a way to fill a void in my heart. Dealing with these struggles I endured the joy of dealing with. and the furry fandom with a topping of ABDL to be the icing on my emotional cake. Needless to say I spent nearly a decade battling this internal struggle. Long story short, a few months before my 31 birthday I embraced who I am.
A little fur trapped in the back of my head who had never seen more than a glimpse of sunlight was about to be brought forward. A simple story in my head that played for many years. Was finally put to paper. And thanks to a great artist that story, turned to the first rendition of my inner feelings.
Hamster was born. A part of me I had hidden for years was thrust into a new world for me and him. The world of furies. This is a world till this point I enjoyed from the sidelines looking at amazing art, and reading stories of varying quality. Needless to say my inner self was much braver then me. The anonymity of the internet helping out a great deal. I fluffed my tail grabbed my favorite stuffed animal in went in search of other furs like me. Not having a great idea where to go beyond furaffinity.net I really was lost. Facebook was the most logical spot. I was quickly meet with a varying degree of people. Disgust over and adult wanting to be ab baby fur one of the more prominent reactions. Next came the creepers big furs looking to have an online role play with me to act out their sexual feelings. Finally, I started to find people more like minded as me those these encounters where few and far between. So onward I searched. No clue where to go it’s amazing what google can find when you don’t even know where you going. I came across a web site that was well done the owner encouraged every on to join big fur or small fur.
Though when I first joined this site. It was in transition some of the furs didn’t seem to enjoy the baby furs. The baby furs where disheartened for bothering people just by being themselves. The owner worked hard and still works hard to get this puzzle to fit. But what I found hiding in this site was a small group of furs big and little that where true to who they were and genuinely friendly. They accepted this husky for who he was some just liking a post about a heard day. Some making a point to spark up a conversation. Even though this pup was a bit shy and hard to talk to. For the first time I got to be hamster. And through chatting with people. Gained some since of belonging.
Due to this new level of acceptance if have let a few new people into my heart. And even gained the courage to meet furs in the real world. Although this path in recent weeks had caused me a great pain I hut more for the people around me. Knowing I cannot help them in a way that would make the hurting strop. Shadow you were the first fur to talk to me. Oni you are genuinely kind to me. And Kiko you have given me the courage to be myself on show that to the world. This road if full of joy and pain. And I’m so happy to be on this journey with every fur out there.
I am Hamster a mischievous playful pup.
I have always been a very extraverted person. I can walk in a bar alone and leave with a room full of friends. But a true and lasting friendship I have known very few. Excepting my self has been a challenge. If I cannot except myself I never figured anyone else would. I have always considered myself gay. And that was hard enough to deal with. Spending most my teens and early 20 sleeping around figuring a way to fill a void in my heart. Dealing with these struggles I endured the joy of dealing with. and the furry fandom with a topping of ABDL to be the icing on my emotional cake. Needless to say I spent nearly a decade battling this internal struggle. Long story short, a few months before my 31 birthday I embraced who I am.
A little fur trapped in the back of my head who had never seen more than a glimpse of sunlight was about to be brought forward. A simple story in my head that played for many years. Was finally put to paper. And thanks to a great artist that story, turned to the first rendition of my inner feelings.
Hamster was born. A part of me I had hidden for years was thrust into a new world for me and him. The world of furies. This is a world till this point I enjoyed from the sidelines looking at amazing art, and reading stories of varying quality. Needless to say my inner self was much braver then me. The anonymity of the internet helping out a great deal. I fluffed my tail grabbed my favorite stuffed animal in went in search of other furs like me. Not having a great idea where to go beyond furaffinity.net I really was lost. Facebook was the most logical spot. I was quickly meet with a varying degree of people. Disgust over and adult wanting to be ab baby fur one of the more prominent reactions. Next came the creepers big furs looking to have an online role play with me to act out their sexual feelings. Finally, I started to find people more like minded as me those these encounters where few and far between. So onward I searched. No clue where to go it’s amazing what google can find when you don’t even know where you going. I came across a web site that was well done the owner encouraged every on to join big fur or small fur.
Though when I first joined this site. It was in transition some of the furs didn’t seem to enjoy the baby furs. The baby furs where disheartened for bothering people just by being themselves. The owner worked hard and still works hard to get this puzzle to fit. But what I found hiding in this site was a small group of furs big and little that where true to who they were and genuinely friendly. They accepted this husky for who he was some just liking a post about a heard day. Some making a point to spark up a conversation. Even though this pup was a bit shy and hard to talk to. For the first time I got to be hamster. And through chatting with people. Gained some since of belonging.
Due to this new level of acceptance if have let a few new people into my heart. And even gained the courage to meet furs in the real world. Although this path in recent weeks had caused me a great pain I hut more for the people around me. Knowing I cannot help them in a way that would make the hurting strop. Shadow you were the first fur to talk to me. Oni you are genuinely kind to me. And Kiko you have given me the courage to be myself on show that to the world. This road if full of joy and pain. And I’m so happy to be on this journey with every fur out there.
I am Hamster a mischievous playful pup.
