Basically do what you want and don't hurt anyone. If you treat me with respect, I'll respect you, even if I don't understand it. Labels are stupid and I don't see why everyone needs to get hung up on what they are or aren't. He/she/they, just let me know and I'll respect it.

I'm currently taking a psychology of women and gender course, so I'm really interested to see what I learn in regards to this whole thing because I feel like it has become the new trend and it's taking away legitimacy from those people who have the disorder. However, I'm not in a place to tell someone that they do or do not experience dysphoria, so as I said before, treat me with respect and I'll respect you. I don't have to understand or agree with it, but I will always default to a position of mutual respect.

That's a good answer! I agree with you!
What seems to be lacking these days is respect.

That's basically what I'm seeing. Most of the problem with this whole topic is it seems that there are people on both sides who appear to lack a general respect and human decency. People feel the need to force acceptance of their non-binary identities upon people who have spent their whole lives being told that there was male and female, and that was it. Then they get angry/upset/triggered when these people look at them like they're strange. (I'm speaking in general terms here and I know this does not apply to everyone on either side) Neither side is necessarily in the wrong here, but they also aren't exactly in the right either. If people could just respect that people have differing opinions and perceptions from eachother, and not get all up in arms about it, we wouldn't have such an issue. People have a hard time accepting differences. Be respectful and understand that if you look more masculine or more feminine, the majority are going to label you as such. It is not out of malice. Correct them in a respectable fashion, and move on. And for those of you who have accidentally misgendered someone, if they correct you, then do your best to respect their pronoun preference and move on. I don't see why this is so hard for people?

I think because it's such a touchy subject right now that if anyone brings it up people have to feel like they need to be defensive right away no matter what side of the fence they are on. It can be like walking on eggshells because everyone expects others to right off the bat disrespect them.

I had disrespected someones gender recently and not even on purpose mind you, even if I used science and felt I was right. I still came out feeling like I had done the wrong thing because hurting people feels really shitty haha.

Yea, I think that's definitely part of it. There's also a lot about gender that we don't fully understand yet, so using science to defend your stance might not always work out since there are still many different scientific viewpoints.

I think the most important thing is to differentiate between sex and gender. They make it a little bit easier to explain it to people when you make that sort of distinction.

i'm 3 minutes into the video and i don't think i can sit through any more of it
if you dig into it, 'more than 2 genders' isn't a new thing. it's very apparent in many older civilizations that in their way of life, there was more than 2 genders. also, many scientists believe that there's more to gender than binary male and female.
i'm nonbinary and let me tell you it's not fun times like this girl in the video makes it sound like it is. i have to constantly worry about how im presenting and how other people will perceive me. i've lost friends because it was too hard for them to use they/them when referring to me. my parents don't even think being a binary trans person is a real thing, so if i tried to explain to them i was nonbinary it would be an actual shit show. it's not so easy to 'just educate people!!!' when no one wants to listen and thinks everything you have to say is ridiculous. trust me, i'm super proud of my identity. i'm proud to be nonbinary. but that doesn't mean it's fun????? just like a lot of binary trans people will show pride and such, it doesn't make the trans experience fun????? just because you want to be comfortable with who you are doesn't mean it's fun. for example, pride parades are awesome. they're a great way for lgbt+ people to have a fun time, but does that mean that being lgbt+ is a fun time 24/7???? fuck no!
being nonbinary isn't harming. binary trans people. just because you don't want to transition from one binary gender to the next doesn't make you or your dysphoria any less valid. also trans-trender??? seriously??? sometimes people have trouble figuring out their identity or the word/label that fits them and describes them best but literally no one does this shit to be 'trendy.' in order doe something to be trendy, you know, it would have to be fun or cool but like trans people are seen in the media all the time being murdered or hurt for their identities. who the fuck wants that??? plus the girl in the video keeps saying 'correct them!!' like do you think that's always possible. like when i'm at work and everyone comes in and 'miss' or 'sir's me should i correct them and try to educate them about binary gender. do you think my boss would appreciate that lol.
i tried to get further into the video but i can't watch any further after her saying 'retarded'. like nice slur lol.

Well I'm glad you actually tried. I wanted to see what someone from every side views it as.

Though I do have to disagree. People do it because it is trendy. I tell you what on deviant art before being transgender was popular people pretended to be homosexual. Maybe it's the anonymity of the internet but I've actually met some people on the internet who said they were a gay male then they turned out to be a straight female with a boyfriend. BUT I do understand that transgender is a real thing and dysphoria's a bitch. The problem is some people pretend and it makes the struggle of real trans people seem like it's fake when it's not.

I'm sorry if the video insulted you I didn't really take into consideration how one sided it seems until the end. At the end she opts to "Mutual respect is what we should all have. Do whatever you want call yourself whatever you want and Ill respect it as long as your not hurting anyone else"

so many people on the internet pretend to be someone who they are not. i'm talking about genuine people. i could go and make another account and be 'rhodney, the age 27 gay trans male' and then be. well. me. that wouldn't make me a 'trans-trender' that would make me a poser and a liar lol. theres a difference between blatantly lying and trying out new labels because your unsure of yourself.

she may talk about mutual respect at the end (i did manage to get to the end after leaving my comment) but her words to not back that up at all. throughout the video she refers to nonbinary genders as 'weird' and calls nonbinary people 'lesbians playing dress up'. that is nothing but disrespect to be honest. like, that's honestly really hurtful??? yet she claims to respect it all. it sounds like a load of horse shit to me.

I think she means on the internet as appose to In real life, Because I doubt she would call a non binary person weird to their face no matter what she believed, she'd respect their gender but that's what I got from it, I can definitely understand that now you know how she feels, feeling different if you ever saw her in real life.

Also you make a point about the online thing! I've never thought about it like that! Unfortunately, I've had people be disingenuous in real life, I had a friend named Courtney, she was straight, then a lesbian, now they are a male who is gay. I mean I've never had experience with that, It could be an extended struggle and I'm being prejudice, but she didn't seem like a genuine person when I knew her. Idk

Like i said you made some good points on things I never thought about. I dont really have the viewpoint of someone who is trans so this stuff isn't as obvious to me.

calling someone something to their face or on the internet is the same thing. you're still calling them 'weird'. thats like if i made a whole journal about how i disliked -insert person here- and said they were fake and weird and then just acted perfectly fine around them outside of the internet. to me it's just as hurtful for someone to feel something behind your back. respect is respect, whether you're talking to them one on one or making videos about them on the internet.
your friend is most likely not being disingenuous. like i said, labels take a while to figure out. i was initially cis and straight, then i was cis and pansexual, then i was cis and gay, and then i was a demigirl and gay, and then i was nonbinary and gay, and now i'm nonbinary and bi. it takes a while to figure out who you are and who you like. i don't know your friend personally, so maybe they weren't a genuine person, but i know a lot of lgbt+ people who have also struggled with this. it's not so easy to figure yourself out.

Alright thanks for your view on it! I Appreciate you being respectful about it (Even if the video was rude)

Well she is an asshole but she does have few good points. The whole my favorite pronoun thing being thrown around like catching pokemon gave me a good laugh. I also do miss the term tom boy. I used to hear it alllll the time growing up but now I never hear it. In general I've come to realize labels are silly & it's annoying as fuck to stick a persons mental feeling into one neat little word or phrase. I've been trying to recently stick to gender neutral pronouns or just call everyone dude as a all encompassing thing. You'll are people to me.

yeah I usually refer to people as their name or they, Bro also lol.

Braaaaaaaaaa!

are you going to furpoc with us I dont remember

Yep yep

"Every time you point your finger, all I see is a penis. Please don't do that."

Seriously though, I don't care what anyone wants to be and if you have a vagina, but want me to call you call you sir/him/his, that's fine with me. I'll address you however you like. It's not any interest to me to wreck someone's day or start a fight over what you want to be called or identified as. I don't care what bathroom you use as long as you're not being a creep. Anyone being a creep will be dealt with appropriately regardless of gender and location. You can wear whatever you feel comfortable in, bind your boobs or wear a packer. None of that bothers me.

However, I believe there ARE only 3 genders. Male, Female and Intersex. All 3 are biological with the third one being extremely rare. Gender is not an idea or social construct. It is literally just biology. What IS a social construct are roles, stereotypes and expectations based on the genitalia you have. Not your actual genitalia. You can still be a girl and wear cargo shorts, play video games and have short hair without having to change what's in your pants. I realize that gender dysphoria is real and when it comes to wearing clothes of the other gender it's more about what they feel inside and what those clothes/style represent rather than how they look. I think, in an ironic twist, all these genders are actually pretty sexist. Maybe I'm just ignorant or whatever, but why do you have to have all these labels to identify with? Like Demisexual, for example. You are attracted to people based on an emotional connection over looks. I think that's just a preference, not an orientation. Those labels all rely on 2 genders, like the girl in the video said. It all seems contradictory to me.

I also think that this is something trendy right now. While there have always been and will continue to be people who struggle with the gender they are born with and truly feel something different, I think most people who are coming out like this are attracted to the trend and maybe don't really understand it or something. The percentage of people who struggle with gender dysphoria is far less than the number of people who represent themselves as trans.


Also on another note, as someone entering the medical field and who has been brought up in a medically oriented family, your gender comes down to one of those 3 things I mentioned earlier. If you come in with an ectopic pregnancy or ruptured ovarian cyst, your doc is going to "misgender" you, because you are not actually a man. You are a woman who wants to think she is a man, and while you can play pretend all you want, you are biologically a woman.

So you think they made a point when they say "When someone tells you they identify as non binary they are telling you a lot less about their gender and more about their ideology."?

Yes, I think that is pretty accurate. It can be confusing and to be honest, I'm still trying to educate myself about it. I'm not about hurting people's feelings and I'll refer to someone how they want to be referred to. I think that it's also important to be inclusive in society regarding this, but to the extent I mentioned above. It would be a shit show in the ER if someone with "Male" identification was having a female problem. The delay in treatment could mean life or death. That's just my limited, standpoint though.

Okay i'm sorry but I have to step in.

Gender dysphoria and srs is a medically documented thing. Even if someone identifies as male, like i do, they don't also go to the doctor and attempt to speak to the doctor as if their body is biologically male. That's asinine. Even if they are passing and post op, I'd think the doctor would have some sort of medical history that would indicate the change, not to mention the obvious scarring and being able to physically see this person has been physically changed through surgery.

This isn't some random thing people are coming up with that doctors wouldn't be able to handle if a medical issue comes up. In fact, I have QUITE a few doctors who refer to me as male pronouns, but are still able to talk to me about the affects testosterone will have on my period, or be able to speak to me in such a way that refers to my biological body while still accepting male pronouns. It's like you know you're going into the medical field, but have little knowledge on how transgender patients are even handled or what we even go through. Doctors don't look at us like "we're playing pretend" because they know gender dysphoria is an actual documented thing that people are actually diagnosed with. It won't be a shit show because most of my doctors know that I have gone through transition as hormones have affected my body and if they didn't, they really shouldn't be working on me in the ER.

But I don't think there's any transgender person who would actively shut down their own biology just to keep up some sense of...whatever you think we're doing and forego the need to preserve their own lives. This isn't a game to those of us who actually suffer from gender dysphoria. We are able to know and accept the fact that YES we were born biologically one way. That's literally the entire definition of being transgender. Our SEX is biologically different from the identity we feel. It's not like we sit here geniunely confused at our vaginas and fight tooth and nail to tell our doctors we're TOTALLY biological dudes in the event of medical issue.

I also have to question how accepting a person can be when the last thing they say is "no matter how much SHE wants to play and pretend SHE is still biologically a woman". You not only completely would've said 'fuck you' to someone's gender identity by referring to HIM in that way, you're acting like all we're doing is playing pretend. Like this is some friggen costume dress up thing that we all just enjoy taking part in. Like Gender Dysphoria isn't an actual thing and all of this is just some random construct of tumblr babies.

I invite you to look at these links for more information on gender dysphoria and it's medical diagnoses.

[quote]In fact, recent neuroscience research suggests that gender identity may exist on a spectrum and that gender dysphoria fits well within the range of human biological variation. For example, Georg S. Kranz at the Medical University of Vienna and colleagues elsewhere reported in a 2014 study in The Journal of Neuroscience that individuals who identified as transsexuals — those who wanted sex reassignment — had structural differences in their brains that were between their desired gender and their genetic sex.[/qoute] - Source: HERE

Definition on Gender Dysphoria - here

Another - here

And another more detailed - here

And an awesome guide about it - here

I'm sorry it's just...not trying to be rude but it really seems your view is extremely limited and not even remotely akin to people in the medical field's point of view on the topic. You seem to think this is playing pretend, and we're not all in this playing some silly fad. There are documented studies that dictate there may even be hormonal or even something to do with the make up of a transgender person's brain that may be the cause of gender dysphoria. The AMA has even go so far as to rule SRS surgery non cosmetic. Gender Dysphoria is no longer labeled as a mental illness. Some insurance companies are including them in their mental health plan, and in this case, not calling the person's gender dysphoria mental ilness, but rather addressing the depression and suicide that may come with it.

It's all well and all to be not about these people thinking it's some sort of trend, and I've written a pretty long comment about that too, but that last line about "she can play and pretend all she wants" and then in the same breath claiming you'd be respectful doesn't sit that well to me. If you were an ally, you'd know someone who is transgender isn't playing pretend. You'd know that person should be referred to as 'he' regardless of his biology, and you'd probably know that because it's not pretend someone like me is able to go up to their doctor, have him call you sir, and then in the same breath ask how your periods are going.

I apologize if I've gotten the wrong take on what you've said, but that just...didn't sit well.

Thank you for sharing your experiences and info. I take gender dysphoria seriously and know it's a real disorder. I just don't know much about it and my experience is very limited. I appreciate you sharing this though and it's very informative!

I also want to mention that I know that people who deal with this aren't doing it as a trend. What is the case with some people however is that this comes up in popular media, like it is now, and SOME people jump on it like that, take it lightly and use it to play pretend without realizing the serious implications of it, which only hurts people like yourself who really struggle with this or who are going through all of the changes and trying to live their life. This happens with anything that gets into popular media though. Why do people do this? I really don't know.

I am very happy to hear you have found such a great doctor and I wish more doctors would be like that. It could be cultural and regional that the doctors where I am would not usually help in that sense, using your preferred pronouns while also being able to address how you're doing. When I mentioned an ER case, I was talking about someone coming in and treatment maybe being delayed because of confusion (if you are well passing, have ID that identifies you as the gender you transitioned too, etc). I can't imagine what it's like to have to tell a stranger something so personal and hope they don't judge you for it. The medical profession should just worry about how to help you and you shouldn't worry about being judged for it or face stigma.

That being said, I am completely ok with whatever laws help include people like yourself into society. I really don't understand much of it(and I've been forwarded some good info since my original post), so I apologize if I sounded offensive or flippant. That last comment was especially so.

Ah! I get it! No worries~ I am sorry if I sounded super defensive. I just didn't want everyone to think we're all just faking and it's a trend.

As for doctors and the ER and such, I can tell you even though my doc is really cool about it, I'm still HORRIBLY nervous every time I talk to him about something like that. I am just trained to be on the defense with my gender and he STILL surprises me every time he shows he is cool with it. Doctors are that one thing you HAVE to absolutely 100% be completely aware of the anatomy some of us fight so hard to ignore. i hate going to them for that very reason. I don't usually have to address my genitals at all in day to day life but with the doctor i have to go "Oh my vagina this" "Oh I had this female biological problem" like it seriously enforces that biological fact for me. Kinda like having a birth defect that you ignore and now someone's making you talk about it exclusively.

I'm still not passing and I honestly don't think I ever will. Not that I find anything wrong with it, there are just some personal things with testosterone that I have. So it's more on the side of me having to correct people rather than someone not knowing my biology. That is a super scary thought though, but I'd hope to GOD they'd at least have the initiative to look into my medical history if for some reason I'm incapacitated or a friend or family member isn't with me. I'd hate to be taking testosterone and then wake up and they're giving me a huge dose of estrogen because they didn't know I was in transition and saw my estrogen levels were low due to the hormone treatments or something i don't know.

But man you are completely right in the fact it's COMPLETELY nervewracking to tell strangers. I mean I still even get nervous about it with my friends and every time someone says 'he' my heart jumps. Like my best friend greats me with "Oooooooooh Hello senor~ " being silly and he has no idea how much that means to me. Just that little ass thing. lol

This is why I think it's important to differentiate between sex and gender. Sex refers to whatever chromosomes you were born with. That's basic biology and that can't be changed. Gender is used to describe the social construct of roles and stereotypes based around what is determined to be "normal" for each biological sex.

Also an interesting fact, when a woman gives birth to make babies she effectively becomes a chimera and Y chromosomes can be found in her body long after the male baby was born. So technically, I'm a human chimera, but identify as female.

There's something I didn't know! Interesting! But from what I know about genetics, she still possesses the XX chromosome to make her biologically female, and the extra y chromosome does nothing to alter that. I'm also referring to chromosomes that an individual possesses at birth that determine the biological sex of the baby. I'm also only referring to humans, as there are tons of other species out there who can change their biological sex as they mature.

Yes, that is true. It's called microchimarism and might also play a role in Alzheimer's as women who develop it tend to have less of these fetal cells in their brains post-morten. I digress, though. You are right about the difference between gender and sex and I think I was trying to make a point about that in my original post regarding societal expectations, roles, etc. I was definitely a tomboy through-and-through growing up, but does that mean someone can label my gender something else just based on my actions and appearance? Or is that something only I can do? Also, while gender in this way we have described, may be a social construct, it doesn't make sense to refer to yourself as the opposite gender, for example, because of the reasons I mentioned above. Male=sex not gender.

Also yes, using other species as examples is moot because we are not them. Logical fallacy in an argument regarding human genders.

Yea, and I think it's very important to differentiate between the two because, as you stated above, being biologically female but calling yourself male when you're in the ER could result in the difference between life and death.

I think the important thing to take away from this is not to label others based on whatever category YOU think they should fit in based on appearance/actions/stereotypes, and to just be respectful towards what THEY feel is most appropriate for them. (So basically the stance you already have)

I just find the whole topic interesting and hope to educate myself further on it because I know there is a lot I don't understand.

Same!

I wish I could just use this comment for reference. This is such a hot button right now and I hate feeling like I have to walk on egg shells. I'm perfectly fine with people identifying as whatever, but on a scientific standpoint I think that a person's biology is always one specific thing ( unless they have surgery to completely transform themselves, and even then I bet there's medical issues that carry on after the procedure in some cases. )

I've always had the mindset of " You live your life, let me live mine" and lately in this world I feel like I cannot. I know not every person who identifies as other various genders does this, but I've had plenty of encounters that do.. We're all human. We all make mistakes...and sometimes maybe I'll forget, if I'm barely getting to know you..and maybe I'll say " She did so and so today." and that person wants to be called He. I have been literally bashed and told to kill myself and that I was a disgusting person...for one tiny mistake like that. And honestly it hurts me.

I understand people want to sometimes be addressed as another gender's terms...but just like other people might forgive someone for calling them the wrong name... you have to be reasonable and understand people are going to fuck up and you can't get so overwhelmingly angry about it. It's simply not fair, because this whole deal is SUPER new to society....Yes I know people wanting to be other genders is not new, but this whole big...thing about being open with it and asking for appropriate terms is really really new and it's absolutely booming and sometimes it does indeed feel like a trend. People gotta chill. Anyway yeah, I dig your thoughts on the matter.

Jfc, telling you to go kill yourself just because you misgendered someone?? Unacceptable! I don't care who you are or who you think you are, threatening violence or causing real, verbal abuse automatically puts you in the wrong, no matter what you're arguing!

I'm sorry you had that experience. People are so quick to escalate on sensitive subjects like this. It's no excuse for that kind of behavior. If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, looks like a duck, you're not going to call it a moose. As someone with gender identity issues, you need to be realistic about the expectations you set for people as well as the kind of experiences you are giving people about what you're identifying as. If you want people to understand something, or want to correct them, do so politely and respectfully. So that next time they encounter someone with an ambiguous gender identity issues, they are not already negatively colored by their previous experience with you!

I agree & you bring lots of valid points!- but just a thing, intersex isn't a gender, it's mutation of the sex/genitalia, and it's unrelated to gender. Most intersex people will still identify as either male or female.

By the way, I appreciate that you say that gender isn't a social construct. I am really tired of hearing people say otherwise, when it's actually been scientifically proven that gender is something you're born with, not something you learn. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Reimer

IMO it's actually pretty insulting and counterproductive to hear that claim from people who say they support transgender rights.
If you (general 'you') claim that gender is a social construct, a choice, something that is taught... you're saying that trans people choose to be trans. (Conversion therapy anyone?) Which recent studies prove isn't true.
If gender was a social construct, trans men & women wouldn't have to deal with being harassed, or with the transitioning, or with killing themselves. It'd be way easier if you could just pick another social construct that matches their sex.

Yes yes yes! I included intersex as the "3rd gender" more as acknowledgement that biologically they are different from male and female/in between. You are right that they usually pick one over the other and sometimes this choice is made for them by their parents when they are babies.

I hope I didn't mess up with the wording too much haha, as english isn't my main language...! (laughing at 'the transitioning', lol).

but as a tl;dr: being trans IS a thing, gender is something you're born with for which it makes no sense to discriminate.
We deserve respect as individuals, regardless of our identity. (Insert here generic speech abour respect!)

God bless ShoeOnHead, she's a treasure.

Personally, I agree with her and most (if not all) of her other videos. I think there's a huge confusion between genders and what I would call gender descriptors, for example tomboy, femboy, girly girl ect. While I do believe there are three genders (including intersex), people who are agender, genderfluid and the like are valid. I treat these as gender descriptors because just like femboys and tomboys, it's a description of one's personality and likes based upon gender. Tomboys are girls who are masculine, femboys are boys who are effeminate, gender fluid is a wide mix of fashion and interests which can be considered feminine or masculine where as nonbinaries are similar but less intense. Heck, I've seen people list their gender or identify as tomboy/femboy in the past

That being said, I have nothing against people who identify as the above, because in a sense they aren't lying. They are those things but in a slightly different way than stated. People can identify the way they want, as long as it is in reason. The people who want to change laws and have special rights however is another topic.

I don't believe things such as genderfluid or nonbinary are appropriate on important documents such as criminal records, driving licences, bank accounts ect as to be completely fair, if there's a case involving identity theft the thief could very well say "I'm gender fluid" despite being a middle aged man with a deep voice where as the actual card holder would be a young female bodied individual. Same goes for murder cases, if a person goes missing and they find a body of a biological female or male, it would be difficult to place identities from a database of information if gender is not listed as either.

All in all, as long as they are nice people, not hurting anyone and minding their own business that's totally okay! Just don't yell at people who are unsure about the subject, educate them and help them relate because lets be honest, there are multiple definitions of gender queer and multiple other labels and that person may brush it off as "fake" because they are unsure what sources to trust on the matter.

I 100% agree with her, I don't care about gender and when people get upidy at me or anyone over something as mundane as a lable I get so pissed
Like honestly what does a made up label have to do with having common decency.. If I'm nice to someone I expect them to be polite as well
WERE ALL PEOPLE
People need to stop expecting so much, the world never has nor ever will revolve around them and there feels, I get offended all the time by rude people that genuinely are judging me, or just have no concern other than thenselves.
Kid you not I have been nagged for not developing a label.. "are you bi or not?" IDK I guess so I have been with a girl and would do it again, but I'm practically common law married... so IDK, I shouldn't be pressured to fit into a box... sometimes I look like a dude, sometimes I look like a girl... I DO NOT have to pick a box and try to fit in... And I feel like this asexual non-binary stuff is just newfangled made up words that our human brains came up with because evolutionarly speaking our brain forces us to fit in, this happens when we go to another area and pick up the accent it's us subconsciously fitting in.
On a side note I feel people should just love themselves for who they are not make up stuff to feel better, that doesn't really help.

"Man and his symbols" always having to label and categorize EVERYTHING.

I agree with you and think it's fair that you shouldn't be rudely confronted for calling a feminine looking person a "she". That person can't reasonably expect the entire world to know and remember that they feel like a man and prefer male pronouns. I would feel sorry for the bartender at a queer bar who couldn't remember all the different genders and pronouns of each individual patron. You can state you'd prefer to be called whatever, but don't be rude!

When male and female just means your bodily anatomy, you don't need any of this. When gender roles are eliminated from our culture, you don't need this. I guess people can do what they want, but I can't help but see how this is in the end kind of negative direction for culture to be going.

There is only 1 gender.

And what is that? hehe

Human

EYYY

Everyone deserves respect I say. We're all human. Race, gender, religion, ethnicity... None of that should really matter.

First off I don't want to offend anyone- these are just my thoughts. I'm more on the side of that gender is biological, yet people have made it into a social construct. I think we should completely scrap the social part of gender. It's seemed to only cause problems. It could save a lot of trouble using gender neutral, well, everything I guess. I don't really know, but to me, you gender really only means you pee standing up or sitting down, and that's really it at this point. If you are discontent with your physiological makeup, then I have no problem with you wanting to change that. People these days need to be more respectful and less easily offended overall.

I totally see where you're coming from. And I'm not here to argue anything. xD I just see this misconception happen a lot. As an anthropologist, I'm a big nut ball for cultural constructs, and gender actually is one. Biological sex and gender are different. Your biological sex is what you are physically, whereas gender is what you are mentally. Hence why gender dysphoria can exist. Your state of mind doesn't align with your biology. At least not in a physical, outward manifestation. c:

But I agree, it has become a hot button issue, and people are really uncertain of how to react to and handle it. P:

Yeah. That whole gender vs sex thing. I think this whole argument is just a plague in society. Why can't everyone just be chill?

I get being annoyed by it, I do, it can be confusing and troublesome when not addressed or utilized properly.
But I can assure you it serves a practical purpose. Sex is biological, this is scientific fact, but gender is psychological and subject to environmental and social experiences. One is your body and one is your mind. But if someone continuously mixes them up, or misunderstands the differences, it can be frustrating.

I'm Transgender FtM
and Dysphoria is when someone feels depressed and frustrated because their body doesn't match their gender

Being Transgender myself, I agree with everything that was said in the video, from the host of the video. However, everyone does
deserve some level of respect, regardless if something they label themselves as doesn't make any sense to you personally (others).
She's right when she says Non-binary is not detectable by even other binary people UNLESS someone has it on their site/forehead.
I don't expect someone to know that I like to dress super feminine one minute and a general level of masculine the next day, just
by looking at me on the street. I know that some Trans people are at a stage in their transition (Or they choose not to us Hormones),
where they do not look like their prefered gender and get misgendered in public situations. I know that can cause some severe
dysphoria and it certainly sucks a whole shit ton of ass. Though, I didn't erupt in Cis-hatred, because "I'm going through Hormone
Therapy and I'm actually a boy!" wasn't plastered on my forehead; nor was "HE HIM HIS". There is no RIGHT way to be trans, you
don't have to be on hormones or undergo any sort of surgery to modify your body. When you decide not to look like a 'typical man'
with 'typical features' (Facial hair, deeper voice, etc.), you have to accept the fact you will be misgendered. Same goes for those
who identify as Agender. It sucks, it's lame, but currently we don't glow certain colors based on our gender identity. I think it'd be
super cool if we could put that information on our ID cards. Let's make little ID tags for ourselves, that's nifty and potentially
helpful.

Another example is, I am Trans, and identify as a variant of Bisexuality (Demisexual, it just means I can't just jump into bed with
anyone without building a pretty solid relationship with you, blah blah blah). HOW WOULD ANYONE KNOW THAT ABOUT ME
UNLESS I TOLD THEM OR WROTE IT ON MY HEAD? You know how hard it is to tell if a boy you like even likes boys? Pretty
hard. If someone got offended because I asked them if they were gay or not, or if I called them cute, I'd be pretty annoyed.

It's cool to have these labels, it helps you feel validated and like an individual. But having the idea in your head that because you
now use these labels, everyone should just see them floating above your head, you're being ridiculous. The host of the video needs
to learn how to convey her idea without being a shit head, but otherwise her views are agreeable.

yeah they do things in a comical hyperbole kind of way but that's how most anti feminists are. I agree though.

i agree completely with her! :D
especially the last part where she says that she will judge based on personality and not all these confusing labels people use
this video made me laugh so much xD
i loved it.

It's always interesting seeing both sides of a stance.
Both sides make compelling arguments, but unfortunately this has become such a hot button issue that people can't really address it levelheadedly. We're invested too much one way or the other. It has become one of those issues where the validity is called into question...but you can't really dismiss someone else's experience since we all experience things differently. /:
I say let people view themselves as they please, so long as they aren't hurting themselves or others. It's the same stance I take on basically everything. xD
To each their own (assuming you're not encroaching one someone else's well being or rights).

Im agender, and (from what i watched- she made me not want to continue watching....) I disagree with her. there are MORE than just male and female, intersex people exist! and shes treating anyone who doesnt fit into the male or female binary as weird jokes, and it makes me SO uncomfortable..... and i hate the term "transtrender" . as if being trans is FUN or a FAD!!!! being trans is NOT fun? who would CHOOSE to go through the hardships and face the problems trans people do? its like saying people are gay for fun. do you know how many people have died becasue they are gay? the same can be aid, maybe even moreso for trans people.

Being trans (and a nonbinary trans) is not a fad! its real and im living proof that people who are like me arent fads.

I think the people who tend to be actual trans feel that way, That who would want to fake it. But people fake being LGBTQ all the time, As a victim card, as a cool thing. For some reason people think that being LGBTQ makes you cool or is a deviancy, It's really insulting personally. But we can't ignore that Fakes exist. But if sex has nothing to do with gender doesn't that mean that people who identify as a different gender aren't trans? (Since it's normally used for people who are born the wrong sex)

Okay. I'm going to have to say that I'm a person that KINDA agrees with her and kinda does not. I'm probably going to get shit for this, but hear me out.

I disagree with her on a few things, but honestly there's ONLY a few things. Gender and Sex are two different things. In regards to SEX in regards to the flat out scientific terms in regards to male and female, there are only a few. Everyone is lumped into one of these categories automatically in regards to their anatomy.

BUT i do agree with her AND her friend. Being transgender is something that is DIAGNOSED. It's documented and THERE is where i have a problem with half these people. I get having to explore, BELIEVE ME I COMPLETELY understand that. I was in a position when I was younger that I didn't know there was even such a thing as being transgender. I didn't even know about anything other than flat out male and flat out female. No intersex or anything like that. So I can TOTALLY see people who just don't know what to fit into, making something up to make themselves feel better about their dysphoria.

BUT that's something that should be explored early on. It seems like at the point you're questioning your gender identity enough to create some word or pronoun, you should be actively seeking therapy, or at the VERY LEAST looking up some shit online. And I think that's where the disconnect is. There are a lot of young people who don't know who just choose to create something instead of actively researching what is going on with them.

THERAPY THERAPY THERAPY. It's ESSENTIAL in stuff like this. My own gender therapist told me stories of old clients she had that decided they wanted to transition and after going through therapy found out that they were just dealing with some other trauma, or some other hang up that manifested itself into them thinking they were transgender. That's why a lot of doctors and endocrinologists require a letter of recommendation before performing anything on a transgender patient. They have to KNOW for a FACT this person HAS been diagnosed with gender dysphoria and by going through SRS (sexual reassignment surgery) they will better their quality of life.

I feel like it's really hard in a lot of cases to determine if someone actually suffers from gender dysphoria (that's where the therapist would come in again). And i wouldn't want to point the finger at someone using some wonky pronoun and condemn them for being a "trans-trender" when that person could very well just be flat out confused or in the dark about their identity and using this as a means to explore. The only issue I have with this is, this allows SO MUCH ROOM for those MANY PEOPLE who ARE using this whole thing as a fad. It's just a silly game for them and so they'll make shit up like starself and stuff like that.

The reason I have issue with this is it's completely clear these people haven't even taken the time to look shit up. They haven't taken the time to figure out what's been established, and trying to find themselves within that. Why can't starself be them or their? Why can't that be gender queer? Why does it have to include some fantastical thing that no amount of science can ever explain like it can with someone who is transgender? You can't be a fucking star. There's no mishap in human development that negated you coming out as a baby damn star. I feel like that irks me almost as much as those people who joke about identifying as a damn helicopter.

This shit is turning this all into a huge fiasco just because people won't take the type to use the thing they sit on all the damn time and do some damn research. I'm not saying everyone has to be like me, but with the LGBTQ+ community so actively being out there these days, it's a wonder how someone could not think to use a damn google search about it. When I finally had enough of not knowing, of being confused, the first thing I put into my search engine was "person that feels like a man born in a woman's body" and all of a sudden I had this door swing open wide. i KNEW what was going on with me enough to attempt to do something about it. These people just....don't seem to care enough and that fact alone is what leads me to think a good majority of them are faking. They're not hurting. They aren't suffering. They don't wake up every day feeling fucking awful and wrong. This is a fucking GAME to them and as such, they're not going to take the time to expend any effort to figure out what's actually going on.

I unfortunately see it wayy more here in this community than I do anywhere else. Now don't get me wrong. I'm NEVER EVER going to go up to someone calling themselves something I find to be wonky and be a shit head to them, because again, i have no idea if this is an actual transgender person who is just horribly misguided. I will always default to respect and try my damndest to refer to someone as their pronouns or their fucking NAME if I have some big issue with it. No need to make people feel like shit. But I damn sure will be thinking "this fucking dumb shit again" while I call someone fucking starself.

This community is so overly dominated with men, especially gay men, that I see people, mostly women, who feel uncomfortable and "left out" of the group and choose to identify as something in the LGBTQ+ community, typically going the transgender route. That's unfortunate, but I feel like people need to realize as transgender people, we go through a LOT of shit to be attached to that fucking label. It's not fucking FUN. I wish EVERY DAMN DAY that I had been born "correctly" and that I would NEVER EVER EVER have to actually call myself a transman. I wish EVERY DAY that I was just born a cis gender man. It's not FUN. Being transgender for me is not fucking fun. It's not a fad or cool. It's stressful, it's frustrating, it's dehumanizing sometimes, it's heartbreaking, it's fucking SUFFERING. And these people who want to play games want to have the label without all the other stuff that comes with it and I'm calling bullshit on those guys. It's COMPLETELY unfair for them to be able to say something and then not have to go home and deal with family members misgendering you.


Oh and on the topic of being misgendered, I think both transgender people AND fakers need to calm their fucking shit. If someone does so accidentally and has NO CLUE about your identity, you have ZERO right to be up in their faces and mad about it. Correct them and move on. If after being corrected they STILL want to misgender you, THEN you have a right to be like "um what the fuck", but if you don't fucking pass you don't get to get on some fucking high horse and make someone feel like shit. They wouldn't KNOW and therefore shouldn't be treated like they did. I saw some trans guy get so bent out of shape someone called him pretty on his profile picture when he was pre T and pre op. He PASSED for FEMALE and the general public is going to go "that's a girl" but he went ape shit for no reason. People need to calm down, especially if you're sitting on that androgynous fence.

Sorry for the long rant post. This is something that constantly bothers me. I see it so damn much and then I get to deal with not only prejudice and hatred for my gender identity, but now I have to battle people thinking I'm playing some fucking game, or going through some phase, or doing this for attention all because they log on and see people making a mockery of the struggle. Some dude saw I put that I identified as transgender or something on facebook, and he messages me and starts going off on me saying shit like "you just want to play pretend with your xirself and xisself bullshit" and i'm like....dude not all transgender people use pronouns like that. :T

Yeah that third from the bottom paragraph, I keep trying to explain to people that YES, people are confused or fake. And there are A LOT of females who like things like yaoi and Idk about you but in my deviantart days a lot of females pretend to be gay males because it was cool. Now it's transgender. And it's obnoxious and makes a joke out of a struggle. You make some very good points I think I'm about where you are on the subject.

Exactly!! I used to rp back on the yahoo chat rooms when they used to have the user created rooms. You know how many people pretended to be something they weren't just to be included into something. Hell I EVEN DID IT, but I always went as 'male' as an attempt to hide the fact I was biologically female. It was done because of my dysphoria more so rather than actively doing it cuz I wanted to fit in with some group. It was EXACTLY that though. Everyone pretended to be gay males on the chat rooms. There were very few active women. This is the same type of stuff and it annoys the hell out of me.

That's one of my pet peeves and it's worse now because people aren't faking being gay or male. They are faking something that effects people in negative ways and they have to fight it on a daily basis just because hey. It's a fad right? In some ways I feel the people who are faking think it's not real the way they treat it. whew it's kind of nice to vent about it hah.

Yeah they seriously have NO clue about any of the bullshit. I bet half of them wouldn't even remotely identify as that outside of the internet. It's just some game just like collecting characters. Like that girl said, wtf is a "favorite label" like this is some big ol' fad. Like wtf? That part of the video just made me cringe so hard.

And yeah it is. Even being trans I get so much shit for not liking this bullshit like i'm supposed to be okay with everything. Like no, I'm going to be tolerant and respectful, sure, because that's all I request from anyone myself. I'm not FORCING people to be okay with it, or accept it, or understand it. And that's what half of these people who come at me are attempting to do. Make me be okay with something I find to be morally wrong. I feel like I should very well be able to be like "yeah you can call yourself a star, but I can also call bullshit on it." while also guiding them towards therapy to actively figure out what's going on, if anything.

You know another thing is when I mention that, gender therapy, or even throw a link to my own therapist, SUDDENLY some of these people don't want to actively talk to them. They make up weird excuses or try to make it seem like i'm being mean and calling them crazy by suggesting something every transgender person has to go through to be able to go anywhere in their transition.

yeah for some reason people get pissed when you recommend a therapist. But going to a therapist doesn't mean your are a psychopath or anything, Everyone should see therapists. Its good to have an unbiased source to talk to.

Exactly! It can help out so so sooo much and people can even find out way more about themselves, even if they already knew they were transgender. I know my therapist allows me to have clarification on a lot of my feelings and allows me to kinda flesh out my own thoughts a little better.

I am born female but I am a transmale. I know I can never transition since I am married and love him dearly.
So for him I won't transition. Therefore I am stuck being a female no matter what. Maybe one day I can at least
get my broken female goods ripped out and my boobs smaller.