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Life is not great but it is going a bit better
9 years ago
General
I realize I do feel a bit better now that I slowly start to socialize more, I finally have a few Dutch furs I chat with pretty much every day and once in a while might meet up again.
I also realize that my usual worries aren't gone because of that, not like my problems are over in a instant. Being behind with my study and seeing how my other class mates are so far up ahead of me, seeing how much I still have to redo, it really stings, it's depressing.
Same for art, I notice how little I know about drawing, how much time I take to draw things, seeing newbies improve in a super rapid phase soon to get past me leaving me behind everyone, I don't like it. It makes me really dissatisfied with my own art also knowing how little I improve if I even improve at all. Still stuck drawing with pencil on paper as my only thing, my rough looking drawings that take me many days of work walked over by colorful sharp digital art like it's nothing. Any decent artist that there are many of even when they specialize in digital art can draw way sharper than me on paper, no grey smears, no rough lines, sharp lines, well proportional figures with consistency. Beaten in my own specialty by everyone it seems. Sometimes I'm sick of my colorless lifeless drawings.
But that is how it goes. Things sometimes don't go as we plan and go from bad to worse, so it's important to have other things to look forward to and I finally have that. Study and art alone are can't fill in my entire life, socializing more gave me a much needed vent at last. Finally meeting other people in person with roughly the same interest really helps out a lot. I notice that is likely what some artist especially the ones that draw more weird fetish stuff like I do need but don't have. That might be what happened to another artist I looked up to. I hope they find a way besides art to be happy about themselves once again.
When it comes to art I notice how I don't manage to draw every day after coming back from classes, instead I'm keeping myself busy by drawing things during breaks between classes. It seems to work, I'll soon upload the result of that.
I also realize that my usual worries aren't gone because of that, not like my problems are over in a instant. Being behind with my study and seeing how my other class mates are so far up ahead of me, seeing how much I still have to redo, it really stings, it's depressing.
Same for art, I notice how little I know about drawing, how much time I take to draw things, seeing newbies improve in a super rapid phase soon to get past me leaving me behind everyone, I don't like it. It makes me really dissatisfied with my own art also knowing how little I improve if I even improve at all. Still stuck drawing with pencil on paper as my only thing, my rough looking drawings that take me many days of work walked over by colorful sharp digital art like it's nothing. Any decent artist that there are many of even when they specialize in digital art can draw way sharper than me on paper, no grey smears, no rough lines, sharp lines, well proportional figures with consistency. Beaten in my own specialty by everyone it seems. Sometimes I'm sick of my colorless lifeless drawings.
But that is how it goes. Things sometimes don't go as we plan and go from bad to worse, so it's important to have other things to look forward to and I finally have that. Study and art alone are can't fill in my entire life, socializing more gave me a much needed vent at last. Finally meeting other people in person with roughly the same interest really helps out a lot. I notice that is likely what some artist especially the ones that draw more weird fetish stuff like I do need but don't have. That might be what happened to another artist I looked up to. I hope they find a way besides art to be happy about themselves once again.
When it comes to art I notice how I don't manage to draw every day after coming back from classes, instead I'm keeping myself busy by drawing things during breaks between classes. It seems to work, I'll soon upload the result of that.
