Im young... im dumb...
very stupid
emotional... and very self destructive.

Hell... No one wants me and its a lie if you say you do...
un-attractive, People... like me... disappear... because of how we are...
realistically... thats how I think with a side of optimism... however... realism... is just... how the world works... its not sunshine and rainbows... it never is.
truthful.. is what i am... I can't lie... because of the sheer fact of how much it hurts me mentally... Its why im so honest and 'casual' speaking about my disorders... its because it is an issue i need to be truthful about.

Mad... im pissed... that life gave me these cards to deal with..
young... and stupid... making choices on the whim that others... HATE me for...
selfish & the scapegoat... is something I tend to be more often... just because i have to look out for myself. Family... just... loves putting their problems on me... never giving me a chance to defend myself...
envious ... im very envious of others... whether it be their looks... talents or some other factor...
lazy... is true..
forgetful... my major clinical depression... makes it hard to remember kindness of others...



When I say I want to die... I do... im not going to sugarcoat it... ive already hurt myself... Ive already cut myself... its a habit I can't break just because my hallucinations come strong and this silences... them... I can't stop because my depression isnt going to go away just because someone says "Im here if you want to talk" or "Others have it worse so cheer up". It does NOT work that way... I'd... rather just die and be done with ... everything... I ain't got nothing to live for... and all this just... hurts...