I am of the opinion that you have things you want to say weighing down on you, you need to say them. Even if it's like going to destroy you to say them, holding it in is worse.

As long as you let your doctor know which medications you are currently taking they should know what's safe for you to take even if you are taking many different types c: Trust in your doctor, they went to school for like a decade to make sure they know what they are doing!

Hang in there, hun, and take it minute by minute. Handle what you can right now and just know that all things pass. Good luck!

You know me, hun, I don't trust medication at all. Mostly cos I don't believe conditions like your's even requires the bloody things. But the guys above are right, you should make sure with your doctor if you're that worried. Taking more meds will naturally spook you, but that's mostly because either 1) You're unsure of what it'll do to you and/or 2) you don't want to be trapped on medication, so feel like their just fobbing you off with cheap solutions that don't work. It's understandable, others are tampering with your world, one you can barely enjoy as it is.

You're not going to die. Just like last time when you were suicidal, I told you it isn't your time and it still isn't. Who'd you trust more: Your fears or an inhuman, primal, sociopathic, nigh on demonic old cunt like me? XD It's okay to not feel safe, we just gotta work on getting you safer. You won't be taken away, trust me on that. If you have anything to say, I'm always right here, no matter what it is. What you need to do right now is breath. Just breath. Don't think, don't feel, don't do anything other than breath. Focus on just existing, alright? That's your goal, just exist, nothing but yourself to focus on.

You'll make it though. I know you will, even if I have to drag you to "okay" kicking and screaming. XD You know me, always looking out for my lovely lemur lady. ^^