It's hard for me to explain it since since it's already it said in done. Make times I asked myself today, if I ever want back in time to warn myself that Japanese Corporations will take your ideas, so they can make a quick bucks. If I ever gave myself all this stuff from the future to the past. I will have corrected everything on all mistakes. I know it many choices I had. I should just stop drawing, Restore my way to health, rebuild my a new for this month, many years to come as I try to reach my high self for answers. I have no trust in telling my family since they love gossip, I hate to the point where I would rather not say anything until I die. I am quiet type of person that keeps a lot of secrets even to others just so I don't get them in trouble, even my sources, more people that I know, don't know. I shut my mouth as long as I remain safe, calm about the actions taken.

In reality my life was wasn't that great as it is from past journals of mines before. My works, that worlds I create is my escape from what reality is. Have to Realize that Japan copies, steal, even not give credit were it's due. I guess it's different in a business point, I understand if they are overworked, trying to cut corners with no creativity at all in many levels of types of Corporations. If only I just listen to my mother a long time ago. I wouldn't have meet you all in the first place or the Internet. Or having the fear that the Japanese that hated would hire hit men to take me down for exposing their plans.

To be honest... I don't care if anything happens to me, I don't care if Americans get abducted by Japanese for ideas, I don't care if they are stealing from out side of Japan can come with their own ideas without an outside source, I don't care about anything to what I create. I don't care about the world as we all know it. However... when I make characters, designs... They are my friends to talk to the most in real life or in my dreams, I don't have real friends around my area, in this day in age it's to make any friends. I just feel alone, even with my family- I am still alone. My family to be is just something in the way. I just want to make small then big in life.

I already gave up on my passion. Who knows... I will no longer use the internet for some time. I don't care anymore.

I do blame myself for all of my actions. If only I had the power to rewind time so I can stop what already happened.
I know more of you are tired of me talking about my problems, such... I am deeply sorry everyone. I just need to get off the web since maybe the Internet isn't a place for me to explain my ideas, such to others or any of my opinions.

It's a scar of my life, left hand that I will never forget, a lesson to always set things on your own terms before you answer to anything so everything can be set in straight for what's come in the end.

I need to go. I will come back in 10 years. I hope everyone is settled then... bye...