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Breakdown, Productivity, and (fursona) Change
9 years ago
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So. I had a breakdown yesterday, which should have been expected with that journal. It's been a while since I had a breakdown, but I was tired and I'd been bottling up stuff for a while, so I finally broke. BUUUT, that breakdown lead to me getting help. Which is good.
I spent the rest of the day visiting with my family since I like, never see them anymore, and I couldn't have gone back home to stay alone without returning to feeling like crap. I also couldn't have stayed awake all day like I did, because I'd pulled an all-nighter. I got up around 4ish PM today, and will try to stay awake until a decent hour.
But I got a haircut, got my meds, and booked an appointment with my welfare caseworker to apply for disability, 'cause I'm a mess. I also found out the local college offers some preparation courses to get you either ready for other courses, or to get people with learning disabilities help getting ready for both independent life AND the other courses. I'm seriously considering taking those courses, but only if ODSP doesn't offer other, free courses that'd cover the same sort of stuff, because like I said - I'm a mess. I don't know how to take care of myself or handle "adult" things. And it sucks.
When I visited my parents we picked all the apples off their small tree. I learned I have a good throwing arm while tossing the bad ones towards the river, and then learned I'm pretty fast at peeling still. We filled a bigass container with apples (they're now mine lol), and still have a bigass bag full of them at my parent's house. We plan to turn them into various apple pastries over the weekend, which will be fun!
Also, you'll notice I'm not calling that brown monster "Ziel" anymore. That's because he's kind of evolved into his own thing, which is a big, nasty monster... and I don't think I could ever successfully tone him down to being more like the real me. Therefore, his name is now Grump (GrumpMonster!), and I'll be making a new Ziel. New Ziel will still be a monster, but a smaller monster. I'm not 100% on his looks yet but I'm working on it. It'll be a long while since he gets posted here, though, but you might see him on Second Life or my other accounts. Might. :P
So, that's all that's going on with me. Just wanted to let y'all know.
I spent the rest of the day visiting with my family since I like, never see them anymore, and I couldn't have gone back home to stay alone without returning to feeling like crap. I also couldn't have stayed awake all day like I did, because I'd pulled an all-nighter. I got up around 4ish PM today, and will try to stay awake until a decent hour.
But I got a haircut, got my meds, and booked an appointment with my welfare caseworker to apply for disability, 'cause I'm a mess. I also found out the local college offers some preparation courses to get you either ready for other courses, or to get people with learning disabilities help getting ready for both independent life AND the other courses. I'm seriously considering taking those courses, but only if ODSP doesn't offer other, free courses that'd cover the same sort of stuff, because like I said - I'm a mess. I don't know how to take care of myself or handle "adult" things. And it sucks.
When I visited my parents we picked all the apples off their small tree. I learned I have a good throwing arm while tossing the bad ones towards the river, and then learned I'm pretty fast at peeling still. We filled a bigass container with apples (they're now mine lol), and still have a bigass bag full of them at my parent's house. We plan to turn them into various apple pastries over the weekend, which will be fun!
Also, you'll notice I'm not calling that brown monster "Ziel" anymore. That's because he's kind of evolved into his own thing, which is a big, nasty monster... and I don't think I could ever successfully tone him down to being more like the real me. Therefore, his name is now Grump (GrumpMonster!), and I'll be making a new Ziel. New Ziel will still be a monster, but a smaller monster. I'm not 100% on his looks yet but I'm working on it. It'll be a long while since he gets posted here, though, but you might see him on Second Life or my other accounts. Might. :P
So, that's all that's going on with me. Just wanted to let y'all know.
SHADOW KING
~loneking
*hugs* Wishing you all the best.
