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FF-Unlike Normality: Part 3 (Old)
9 years ago
General
(Abundantly Explicit)
(You ever look at a long piece of work you made, like, spent countless hours working on, and think "Wow, this was a lot better as I was making it compared to now. Hell, anyone could've made this"? That's me and this substory in a nutshell.)
(20-Day 4)
...He's the only reason you aren't dead, you owe him that much...
...For once, we're actually doing something not atrociously terrible...
...Harry! Mother, what happened to him?...
...Hush now, Lily. He requires rest. Quiet rest...
...Who is this puny Novun?...
...I brought you this talisman. Thought it might help. I don't know why you defended the Queen, but Kindle said you had good intentions, whatever they were. Well, at least you stopped him from making a terrible mistake. I hope you get well soon, Mr. Novun...
H: H..Huh?
KI: About time you came to.
H: W-Who?
KI: What, you've never seen a king before?
H: You...
KI: So, you know all sorts of stuff you probably shouldn't now.
H: I...I didn't want to know. But...I pressed on. And Kindle...
KI: Yeah, I know. So, you see why I never spend much time here.
H: Right...
KI: Family's a mess of lonely fools, tools, perverts, crazies, and degenerates. And you know that I'm no different.
...
I never believed that purity nonsense, but to think she's taken it so far...That crazy...Nearly driving my son insane, causing so much stress to my daughters...Was she so desperate? Was he so weak?
...
Got nothing to say now, huh? You were talking just a while ago, and now, not a word. As if you're judging me. Or you're afraid of me.
...
Go on, say something. Strike a conversation. All of my kin agree you are at least good with that.
H: What...What should I say?
KI: I dunno, what should you say?
H: I don't know.
KI: Because this is all unnerving to you, isn't it? Not common where you come from?
H: Not at all.
KI: Yep. Culture shock's a bitch, ain't it?
H: What they did...It's not culture. It's perverse and...
KI: Yeah?
H: ...Wrong.
KI: It is wrong. We know it's wrong. Yet, do you know why we continued with our ways?
H: No.
KI: Have you ever heard the phrase, "I don't care"?
H: Many times.
KI: Then, there you have it. We know we've committed acts of corruptions, yet no matter how hard you try to convince us to change, well, we don't care.
H: But...You should care.
KI: Why? The world tells us to care and we tell the world to go fuck itself. What makes you telling us a special snowflake?
H: Do you care about them? Your family?
KI: Say, I do.
H: If you really care about someone, you do whatever it takes to make them happy. Right? Because their happiness is all that matters. It's like...Being a good person.
But...Being a good person doesn't mean doing the right thing. It means making compromises in order to do the right thing, even if it means denying your own self interests or desires.
KI: What a speech, boy. Do you actually practice what you preach?
# haven't done what you've done, so...
KI:...So, if I were a good husband, I'd deny all my personal joys and pleasures to make my wife happy?
H: No, that's the thing. Making your wife happy should make you happy, too.
KI: But, you said I'd need to deny my self interests to make her happy. What if my self interests involved making her happy? And, what if making her happy means allowing her to molest my son?
H: I...I don't know, then. Normally, most people's self interests or acts of happiness aren't like that.
KI: And we aren't most people.
H: I know.
KI: That's where the good phrase comes in: I know, and I don't care.
H: But...
KI: Forget it, boy. Forget trying to change us.
...There's a name given to our soldiers due to their older tactics of hiding in dirt and filth to surprise their enemies: Filth Dragons. I'd say that describes us well.
H: Ugh....
K: Just be "happy" that my kin has been talking more about you than me.
H: They have?
KI: They're actually meeting each other, face to face, in a stable group, talking about things that are still petty, but somewhat better than the boring crap I come home to.
...Even got my wife talking about more things than politics. I don't know how you accomplished that...
H: All I did was ask her how her day was.
KI: Are you serious?
H: Yeah. But, I'm sure you already ask her things like that, so...
...
KI: Smartass. Just like Kindle. I can see how you two became fast friends.
H: I talked to him. That's how it happened.
KI: And mounted him, apparently.
H: Wha...
KI: He told us. He'd never admit something so embarrassing, so pathetic...
H: He's a...I don't even know what to call him, now.
KI: Before you learned, he said you were his "friend". So, call him that.
H: But-
KI: Call him that. He doesn't have many, the antisocial fool, so don't stop calling him that.
H: Hmm.
KI: Don't "Hmm" me, boy. Say, "Yes, my lord."
H: Yes...My lord.
KI: Damn straight.
...
KI: Oh, I heard you denied my daughters sexual pleasure? Yeah, I'm gonna have to kill you now.
H: Wha...!
KI: Oh, I'm joking. I don't know how you had it within you to put them down.
H: I didn't want to be rude.
KI: Ha! You think free love is rude?
H: Only amongst strangers. And blood.
# loss...
...
KI: Lily seemed the most worried about you. What did you ask her?
H: It was more like she asked me questions about me. She didn't want to go along with Lilith, so she-Well, she tried to have a good conversation with me. Not that I was any better...
KI: Lily tries. Oh, she tries.
H: I've only talked to her for a while, but she seems like a real sweetheart.
KI: Good that you still willingly think that. Just don't forget to call Kindle "friend" and we won't have any issues.
Oh, hey, if you're really fond of Lily...
H: I'm still recovering, so please...No ostentatious thoughts.
KI: Way to kill the mood.
H: It was already dead before we started talking.
KI: Hah! It was, wasn't it?
H: Yeah...
...
KI: Shit, we're bonding, aren't we?
# are?
KI: Didn't think we'd get this far in the conversation. Just wanted to explain a few things, but then...
H: So much for that speech of not caring.
KI: Yeah...That's another thing about me: I may or may not be full of crap at times.
H: I take it that's the trait your wife gravitates the most toward?
KI: Wow. You are the only Novun to talk smack about me and my wife at the same time and still not be dead. Why aren't you dead yet?
H: You appreciate a realist when you see one.
KI: GOD. DAMN IT. Why couldn't YOU have been my son? You're more lively than the brooder I got stuck with.
H: Hey, Kindle had his moments.
KI: Does he? Hard to notice when he's always such a depressing dick.
H: He's the most...normal?...out of everyone, so please cut him some slack.
KI: Oh, yeah? What makes him the most normal?
H: He wants to primarily mate with things not related to him.
KI: Despite the exceptions?
H: Yeah, same with you.
...
Seriously, it's like a mirror with you two.
KI: Hmph. Thanks for the talk, Mr. Montana...
H: No problem, my Queen.
(21)
V: So, the Novun's returned from his state of delirium.
LA: Took him long enough.
LB: Oh, Harry! We were so worried about you!
LA: C'mon, we weren't THAT worried.
K: Ahem...It's good to have you back, man.
H: I think it's good to be back.
K: Hey...Are you sure you're all right now? I mean...I know you aren't all right with everything if that sudden collapse is anything to go by, but...
H: This all feels so...bizarre...now.
K: You don't know the half of it. Wasn't too long ago I let a Novun ride me, threw two fits, assaulted my own guards, attempted to murder my own mother, rushed everyone to get together to help you, witnessed mother snap at my father after a year of absence, and just...This is all a mess. A big, freaking mess.
H: In no less than a week.
K: I bet you've never had to deal with a dysfunctional group like us before.
H: Not on your level, by no means, but I've met my fair share of strange folks.
K: Hmm. So...Are we...I mean, are you still staying for the contract?
H: It's gonna be...an experience, but I think I can handle a few extra days.
K: Look, just stay away from everything female here and you'll be fine.
H: So, your dad's fine for me, then?
K: Tread at your own risk. Who knows what the hell he's been through?
H: I had a talk with him a while ago. He's not too different from you, actually.
K: Until he leaves mother for a gryphon, I won't believe it.
H: Officially, you mean?
K: Heh.
H: So, you guys patched things up after yesterday?
K: Barely. Though, I've noticed mother take a few steps back whenever I enter the room now. A nice bonus, I'd say.
Lilith's still a spiteful bitch who's gonna get it coming one of these days.
Lily's the least rotten out of us, but too submissive for her own good.
And father? Father just doesn't give a fuck.
Sigh. What a family.
H: It's gonna take a lot of contracts to sort these matters out.
K: Not enough, more like. Well, at least we started talking to each other now.
...But it's really awkward, seeing each other frequently as opposed to certain moments.
H: Yeah, let's not talk about those for now.
K: Agreed...
...
LB: So, Harry. Are you still gonna stay here for a while? I heard about mother breaking that contract for you.
H: Your brother, erm...made a new contract for me after the last one was broken, so I won't be leaving yet.
LB: That's good. It's good to have other people around.
H: It is...
LB: And it must mean Kindle really likes you if he hasn't demanded you to leave yet.
H: Well, I don't think he "really" likes me. I think he's just glad that the one person forced to spend most of the week with him isn't someone familiar.
LB: Yeah, it gets really boring around here. I only have two people to play with when mother and father aren't away.
H: Hmph. Reminds me of a close friend of mine.
LB: Who?
H: Ever heard of the royal Darius family in Hikanim? I'm an associate to the prince there, Jedediah Carnello Darius, and his situation is, well, slightly similar to yours.
LB: So, his parents are almost never around?
H: Well, that's the thing. They're always busy working in the castle while he's left busy learning how to be a king through scholars, political figures, and personal trainers.
LB: So, what makes us similar?
H: He loves his parents, but he's never able to spend much time with them. He told me once that he could tell me the names of a hundred soldiers but that he has to remind himself daily of his own parents' names.
LB: Wow. That's a lot of names.
H: Yeah, I can't even remember that much.
LB: That is kinda sad, though. I feel bad for him.
H: ...It's one of the reasons I continue writing to him.
LB: What are the other reasons?
H: Huh?
LB: Why you still write to him?
H: We...traveled in the same group together, over a year ago. We explored lots of places, went on a few adventures, and learned a lot from each other.
LB: Oh! So, he's your best friend?
# Yeah, I believe he is. He's brash and outspoken, but he's a good soul.
LB: Um...Like the gryphon is Kindle's best friend?
H: OH, GEEZ, NO!
LB: Woah!
H: Nothing like that at all!
LB: Oh. Sorry.
H:...No, I should be apologizing. I'm just...really sensitive about that, I guess.
LB: I'm sorry, I-I didn't know...
H: No, it's okay.
LB: Please don't be mad at me.
H: No, really, Lily, it's fine-
LB: 'Cause I don't want you to be mad at me. I already have enough people mad at me.
H: Aw...Don't worry about it. Even if I tried to, I don't think I could be mad at you.
LB: Even after what me and my sister tried to do?
H: That was an ugly situation, I admit, but at least you refused to go through with it.
LB:...
H: That takes a lot of guts, to stand up to your sister. I respect you for that.
LB: Um...Thank you.
H: Hey...
LB: Huh?
H:...I'm willing to forgive and forget if you're willing to do the same.
LB: Really?
H: Really. No sense holding a grudge, right?
LB: Yeah. Um...Do you forgive me?
H: I do.
LB: Oh. That was easy.
H: But it feels good, doesn't it?
LB: You know, it kinda does. So...Does this mean we can be friends now?
H: I thought we were already friends.
LB: Huh?
H: Oh, nothing. It's just a thing I say.
LB: So...
H: Oh, yeah, we can be friends, now.
LB: Oh. Okay. So...What "do" friends do? I mean, your kind of friends?
H: We've already been doing what friends do: Talking to each other, expressing ourselves, asking each for forgiveness when we mess up, all that stuff.
LB: Oh. So, they don't...
H: They don't what?
# close to each other or...
H: Sometimes. But the close acts of affection are purely platonic.
LB: Plu-what?
H: Like, not questionable or sexual.
LB:...
H: No nasty things.
LB: Oh! Okay...Well, that...kinda makes me sad.
H: Why?
LB: 'Cause I wanna get close, but I'm afraid I might do things I shouldn't.
H: Uhh...Wow...Let me say it like this: Getting close to anything above the waist and below the knees is fine. And, uh, no matter what, no kissing.
LB: What about licking?
H: (Long sigh, thinks to himself) As long as it's friendly, you know, not too much of it, it's tolerable.
LB: Okay, then!
H: Uff-Hey!
LB: This is okay, right?
H: Uff-Yeah, it's fine-UGH, NOT THE INSIDE OF THE EARS, THOUGH!
LB: Oh! Oh! Sorry!
H: Ahem. Anywho...Yeah, that's about right.
LB: Giggle.
H: Ahem.
...
H: Hey, Kindle.
K: Yo.
H: So...
K: Nice day today, huh?
H: Yup.
...
H: Someone slipped me a talisman while I was out.
K: Thistle wanted to bring you something after she heard what happened, so while my folks were arguing, I snuck her in and showed her to you.
H: Oh.
K: "Snuck" is not really the word. Those two were were like schizos, yelling at each other, nuzzling each other, giving glares to each other, too busy to notice us waltz on by.
H: It was that easy?
K: Yeah. They should argue more often. Might give me some actual privacy.
H: I'm glad I wasn't there to hear it.
K: You hate arguments?
H: I do. I might've gotten away with a few speeches, but in truth, I hate arguing.
K: Let me guess. You never win them?
H: There's that, and the fact that I don't like people raising their voices at each other. I never have.
K: Did your folks argue?
H: They did. I never got used to it.
K: Huh. Well, what doesn't kill you...
H: Right. Anywho, give Thistle my regards.
K: I certainly will.
H: Hmm. Now that your dad is here, does that mean...
K: Yup. No more arranged marriages for me.
H: That's good to here. And...You and your mother...
K: Anything can happen at this point. She might be too overwhelmed by father's "I don't care" attitude to try anything, or she could send guards to kill us in our sleep. You never know.
H: You're very nonchalant about this.
K: I decided to act like my father for once. Well, maybe not once.
H: Huh.
# It got real heated back there and...Just to be clear, I'd never stab you just to get to her. Mother isn't worth that much. But...Why did you defend her, really?
H: I've encountered a lot of scum in my time here. But she's a different kind. She's never done the terrible things I've fought people for, but that one mark, that one terrible mark puts her on their level. But...I don't think that's fair. To them or to her. That that one sin forever holds you to the level of scum, no matter who you are or what you accomplish...It justifies nothing but...I don't know.
K: No, before you learned. You knew I hated her, yet you sprung toward her like I was the bad guy.
H: Remember what I tried to say about one of the rules of my contracts? No bloodshed unless it's absolutely necessary. And I didn't know yet, so I didn't see murdering her out of spite as a sound idea.
K: But-Sigh...Okay. That's fair...Barely.
H: I'm glad you showed restraint, even with what you've been through. It makes you the stronger person, you know?
K: To you, maybe. Father was kinda pissed I didn't go through with it. Ha, like I guessed. Then, mother got pissed at father for saying that and...Yeah.
H: Still...I'm strangely proud you, Kindle.
K: You're making me blush.
H: Heh.
...
H: So...You haven't been...I mean, with your...
K: I've stopped ever since I met Thistle. Well...Okay, that's not entirely true, but...We started occasionally, um, indulging a few years ago. It was an occasional thing, we were all deprived of certain desires and...It doesn't make it any better, not at all. But once I met Thistle, we started engaging less. After a while, we stopped entirely. That was when we stopped talking, too.
H: And nothing, um, else happened? No pregnancies or dis-erm.
K: Diseases?
H: No, I-
K: Nope. We lucked the hell out, we did, and bitterleaf helped, too, but...When people talk about spending quality time with your family, I know our way was certainly not the right way. And, after seeing what happened to you...I'd rather it doesn't happen again.
H: I don't think it will. I haven't fainted yet during this conversation, so I think it's getting me desensitized and such.
K: It's like I said. What doesn't kill you...
...
K: Hey, Harry?
H: Yeah?
K:...Thistle doesn't know.
H: She...
K: I told her the battle caused you to get extremely fatigued, that you fought most of the guards with my support and still managed to defend mother, just to pass out by the end of it.
H: Did she believe you?
K: It's a stretch, considering you didn't have any major wounds, but she believed me. You're like a hero in her eyes now.
H: I don't detect a hint of jealousy, do I?
K: Hmph. Get over yourself. I was her hero long before you came along.
H: You sure it's not the other way around with you two?
K: Heh. That's not a bad question. She is pretty awesome. And pretty...pretty.
...
K: I can't imagine what she'd say if she found out. Harry, promise me-
H: There's no need for promises. Since there's no need to tell.
# it. That's four I owe you.
H: Four?
K: The two visits, stopping me, and being decent. And I don't care what you say, the first two aren't on the mountain.
H: You know you don't owe me anything, man.
K: That's a dirty lie and you know it, Mr. Montaine. The contract, remember?
H: Oh, right.
...
H: You guys got any drums? Or guitars?
K: Drums?
H: Yeah.
K: We might have an old pair or two somewhere. Why?
H: Do you guys play music?
K: I haven't played anything in years. No idea about the others. You?
H: I had some beginner classes for drums and guitars years ago. Kinda fixin' to practice a bit, if you have either.
K: Hmm. Let's check in the lower areas...
(21)
K: Father?
KI: Son.
K: What brings you to these lower areas?
KI: Absolutely nothing. I followed you two to see what you were up to, so here I am.
K: Oh. How did we not notice you?
KI: I've gotten extremely skilled at vanishing at will. It's why no one notices me until I make myself known.
K: Well, look, we came down here to find if we had any musical instruments.
KI: What the hell for? Did you become a bard while I was gone?
K: No, Harry knows how to play drums and guitar.
H: Just some beginner stuff, really.
KI: Oh? Well, play me a song, oh mighty musician.
H: I don't really know songs. Maybe one military cadence for the drums, but that's it.
KI: Bah! Some bard.
K:...Well, let's take them up.
...
K: So much for privacy.
KI: I figured you two amateurs would appreciate a royal audience to judge your work.
K: This isn't a professional practice session, father. Just us hitting drums like crazy idiots. And maybe a guitar, too.
KI: Just pretend I'm not here. You do that anyways, don't you?
K: Sigh. You shouldn't be here, you'll likely drag mother over here.
KI: The horrid sound of your shoddy playing skills will do that, not me!
K: Which is why, if we had doors, loud sounds wouldn't be a problem!
KI: We are NOT discussing this again!
H: Guys! Can we please play?
K: Yeah, whatever...Hey, Harry, what was that cadence you were talking about?
H: Oh, I think it goes like this...No. Nope. No, that's not right.
...
H: Uh, close but not perfect.
K: It doesn't have to be perfect, just play it.
H: Okay...Not great, but not bad.
K: Huh. So...That was a thing.
KI: Hmm. This sounds like the kind of thing you play during military ceremonies.
H: That's what it was used for in my wor-uh, country.
KI: Pardon?
H: Wow, I'm horrible at this.
KI: Playing or lying? I'm wagering both.
# should probably be more honest with you guys now.
K: Remember where you can get to, Harry, if you haven't been.
H: No, I have been but-Not completely honest.
KI: Well, go on! You know of our sins, so inform us of yours.
H: It's not that, it's...I'm not from this world.
...
H: I was brought here by this purple stone over a year ago. I've tried to figure out how to get back, showed lots of people it, but no such luck.
KI: Are...Are you serious?
H: I am. After a while, I kinda stopped asking about it. Preferred doing contracts more for my group.
KI: Wha-But-You're so casual about this whole thing, like parallel world traveling is just a typical occurrence to you.
H: It's not, but I don't know what else to say about it. I mean, it happened, and that's that.
KI: That's that? No worries about your family or friends in your world?
H: Not really family, and no friends. I wasn't much use to them, anyway.
K: That's a hell of a thing to say. Not just the world traveling thing, but that "you" consider yourself a useless son to your kin.
H: Well, I wasn't the most productive or loving son. Not compared to the others. So, it's not totally unbelievable that I'd think that.
K: Well, I...guess I can't change anything about that, can I?
KI: You...are full of crap, Mr. Montaine.
H: The world traveling thing does sound insane, doesn't it?
# are not a useless son.
...
Not if what I've heard about you from my kin is correct.
...
Do you want to know a terrible fact? You've done more for my family in less than a week than I have in a year.
...
I know they hate me for abandoning them. My wife, for never consoling her. My son, for setting a terrible example for him. My poor, sweet daughters, for...for...
...
So, don't you go telling us you're not a useful son, because you are. I know I told you my saying, and I don't know why in the world I'm going against it, but you...You helped out for some things. Understand?
H:...Yes, my lord...
KI: Of course, that's not gonna change things, because I don't care enough to change anything.
H: I'm sure you'd be able to accomplish a lot more if you did.
KI: Hmph. If I did...
...
H: Kindle?
K: Oh. For a second there, I felt that strange sensation again.
H: You all right now?
H: Yeah. Now.
...
K: So, anything else you'd like share before you get the suggestion again?
H: Harry Montaine is my contract name.
K: Well, of course it it. It's there on the bottom, see?
H: I mean, it's only a name I use for contracts.
K: To protect your real name?
H: Yeah.
K: You can't make an exception now, can you? I mean, you made a few exceptions during mother's contract, so...
H: I'll say this: You can call me Danny if you want.
K: Danny?
H: Not exactly my true first name, but I'm sure you can glean what it is if you think hard en-
K: Daniel.
H: If that's what you believe.
K: Oh, don't play the ambiguous type now, Mr. World Traveler.
KI: It doesn't help that you're a terrible lier.
H: If that's what you believe.
...
Doo-Dooooo...
...
Doo-Doo-Dooooo...
...
Doo-Doo-Deh-Doooo-Doooo...
...
Doo-Doo
Doo-Doo
Doo-Deh-Dooo
Doo-Doo
Doo-Doo
Doo-Deh-Dooo
Doo-Doo-Dehh-Doo-Dehh-Doo-Dehhhh
Nah-Nah-Dehhh-Doo-Deh-Doo
Doo-Doo
Doo-Doo
Doo-Deh-Dooo
Doo-Doo-Dooo-Doo-Dooo-Doo-Dooo
Doo-Doo-Deh-Neww-Neww
Doo-Doo-Deh-Neww-Neww
Doo-Deh-Newww-Neww-Newww-Neww-Newwww
Doo-Doo-Deh-Neww-Neww
Doo-Doo-Deh-Neww-Neww
Doo-Deh-Newww-Neww-Newww-Neww-Newwww
KI: Why are you singing about "new crap", Mr. Montaine?
H: What? Oh-Heh. It does sound like that, doesn't it?
KI: What sort of chant is that?
H: From an old game I used to play. It was, like, the menu theme to it.
KI: A board game with a food menu played this "theme" to you?
H: No, it's-Think of it as like an electronic board game that plays music throughout the game.
KI: An electronic board game that plays music to you? Why have I never-Oh, of course. Traveler.
H: Yeah...
# should invest in that...
(22)
V: Why are you all huddled around each other here?
#
KI:...Deshira.
V: Don't call me that!
H: We were just discussing music.
V: That explains the horrid sounds in the distance.
KI: Hmph.
# only came by to give you my thanks, Harry.
H: Don't mention it. Really, let's forget the whole thing even happened.
V: It's already been forgotten.
H: That's good.
V: I may have been mistaken. Perhaps it was my son that created those terrible sounds.
K: Better than the terrible sounds you created!
KI: Shit, I didn't know my son could breath fire.
V: Tch!...So...Are you a competent player, Harry?
H: Barely. I know just one military cadence.
V: Really, now? Let me have a hear.
...
V: How intense. I could feel the vibration of your thrusts from over here.
K and KI: (Stare)
H: Umm, thank you.
V: And I don't just say that to anyone, you know.
K and KI: (Rolls eyes)
H: Queen Vera, now that everything is...less of a mess now, I want to ask you something.
V: Oh, this should be either stress-inducing or entertaining.
H: ...How are you feeling?
K and KI: (Stare at H)
V: Hah! Is that what you really wish to ask me, Mr. Montaine?
H: It is.
# you jest?
H: No, I'm a pretty terrible jester, actually.
V: Oh, what a delicious lie! You should become one. You'd look just ravishing in one of their outfits.
KI: JUST FUCK ALREADY!!!
...
# excuse my dear husband. He can't seem to stop thinking about such questionable activities even among us.
KI: Don't get mad just 'cuz I don't give you any every damn day.
V: Getting any is not what I require AND YOU-...Ahem...Please excuse my outburst, Mr. Montaine. What I meant to say...
Is that I feel well.
H: You do?
V: Indeed, I do.
H: Well, that's good to hear.
V: Such a minor question to ask. Is there not any other question you wish to ask me?
H: As a matter of fact, there is.
V: Ask away.
# you play drums?
V: (Facepalm) No, no I do not play drums.
H: You wanna learn?
V: Why, I...I've never met a Novun quite like you before, Mr. Monotonous.
H: What, don't Novuns ask you on a daily basis if you want to learn drums?
V: Drums...Of all things...Drums...
Okay, fine. I'll humor your request this one time.
...
V: My, my...
Everyone: My?
V: I will admit, that was quite...fun. Somewhat abhorrent to the ears and unconventional at times, but not exceedingly terrible.
H: Nothing gets the heart pumping quite like the beat of the drum.
V: Oh, I can think of-
K and KI: DON'T!
V: Hah. If you insist. Well, I think that's enough of this recreational activity, I've got a kingdom to run. (Looks at KI)
KI: What does it look like I've been doing-(Nuzzle) Oh.
K: Absolutely disgusting, Harry. We should outlaw public displays of affection while we're here.
V: And smart-aleck sons, too.
K: AND HORRID MOTHERS!
V: Only as horrid as the offspring I produce.
K:...Touché.
V: Sorry, I don't speak Feurset. I'm a proper queen, after all.
K: Proper, she says...
V: Heh.
...
H: Did...Did you two just have a moment?
K: What? No, of course we didn't! I still hate her guts!
H: Then, why did you smirk after she left?
K: I didn't smirk, I-I was thinking about a joke I heard.
H: If you say so.
K: Hmph.
...
# might've been the first real mother-son moment we've ever had...
H: There's a first for everything.
K: And...I felt that feeling again...
H: Indigestion?
K: Yeah. Had to be.
H: Even though we didn't eat yet.
K: Hey, let me figure it out on my own.
H: Yes, my prince.
K: Ugh, don't ever call me that! Thistle calls me that and it drives me insane!
H: Well, you are.
K: A prince or insane?
H: That is the question.
K: God. Damn it. I'm gonna hate when you leave us for good.
H: It's just as well. Even a good joke can get stale after a while.
K: Daniel.
#
K: Dude. You're like...my best friend.
H: I SHOULD GO.
K: No, no, not like that! I mean...The kind of best friend I don't get confused feelings toward. I mean, I do get those, but not in the same way as Thistle.
H: You mean, the kind of best friend you can drown your heart out to and not be afraid of them rejecting your thoughts?
K: Yeah. What you said.
H: See, that's better. Although, I'm fine with just being a "friend".
K: Friends don't let friends break the rules of their mothers. Friends don't continue to talk to friends when they realize they went down on people they shouldn't have went down on. And friends don't tell other friends they're from other worlds when the other friends could easily exploit them for information about their world.
H: I suppose.
K: You are not a friend anymore. You are a best friend.
H: I'm...honored.
K: I'm sure you are.
H: Hmm.
K: Careful, Danny. It only took you two days to be my friend, and four days to be my best friend. Who knows what you'll be on the sixth?
H: Hungry?
K: What?
H: I mean, that's what I am now. Hungry.
K: Oh. Well...Yeah, me too. Let's go get something.
(End of part three)
EDIT: Wonder if anyone can guess what menu theme song Harry was humming.
(You ever look at a long piece of work you made, like, spent countless hours working on, and think "Wow, this was a lot better as I was making it compared to now. Hell, anyone could've made this"? That's me and this substory in a nutshell.)
(20-Day 4)
...He's the only reason you aren't dead, you owe him that much...
...For once, we're actually doing something not atrociously terrible...
...Harry! Mother, what happened to him?...
...Hush now, Lily. He requires rest. Quiet rest...
...Who is this puny Novun?...
...I brought you this talisman. Thought it might help. I don't know why you defended the Queen, but Kindle said you had good intentions, whatever they were. Well, at least you stopped him from making a terrible mistake. I hope you get well soon, Mr. Novun...
H: H..Huh?
KI: About time you came to.
H: W-Who?
KI: What, you've never seen a king before?
H: You...
KI: So, you know all sorts of stuff you probably shouldn't now.
H: I...I didn't want to know. But...I pressed on. And Kindle...
KI: Yeah, I know. So, you see why I never spend much time here.
H: Right...
KI: Family's a mess of lonely fools, tools, perverts, crazies, and degenerates. And you know that I'm no different.
...
I never believed that purity nonsense, but to think she's taken it so far...That crazy...Nearly driving my son insane, causing so much stress to my daughters...Was she so desperate? Was he so weak?
...
Got nothing to say now, huh? You were talking just a while ago, and now, not a word. As if you're judging me. Or you're afraid of me.
...
Go on, say something. Strike a conversation. All of my kin agree you are at least good with that.
H: What...What should I say?
KI: I dunno, what should you say?
H: I don't know.
KI: Because this is all unnerving to you, isn't it? Not common where you come from?
H: Not at all.
KI: Yep. Culture shock's a bitch, ain't it?
H: What they did...It's not culture. It's perverse and...
KI: Yeah?
H: ...Wrong.
KI: It is wrong. We know it's wrong. Yet, do you know why we continued with our ways?
H: No.
KI: Have you ever heard the phrase, "I don't care"?
H: Many times.
KI: Then, there you have it. We know we've committed acts of corruptions, yet no matter how hard you try to convince us to change, well, we don't care.
H: But...You should care.
KI: Why? The world tells us to care and we tell the world to go fuck itself. What makes you telling us a special snowflake?
H: Do you care about them? Your family?
KI: Say, I do.
H: If you really care about someone, you do whatever it takes to make them happy. Right? Because their happiness is all that matters. It's like...Being a good person.
But...Being a good person doesn't mean doing the right thing. It means making compromises in order to do the right thing, even if it means denying your own self interests or desires.
KI: What a speech, boy. Do you actually practice what you preach?
# haven't done what you've done, so...
KI:...So, if I were a good husband, I'd deny all my personal joys and pleasures to make my wife happy?
H: No, that's the thing. Making your wife happy should make you happy, too.
KI: But, you said I'd need to deny my self interests to make her happy. What if my self interests involved making her happy? And, what if making her happy means allowing her to molest my son?
H: I...I don't know, then. Normally, most people's self interests or acts of happiness aren't like that.
KI: And we aren't most people.
H: I know.
KI: That's where the good phrase comes in: I know, and I don't care.
H: But...
KI: Forget it, boy. Forget trying to change us.
...There's a name given to our soldiers due to their older tactics of hiding in dirt and filth to surprise their enemies: Filth Dragons. I'd say that describes us well.
H: Ugh....
K: Just be "happy" that my kin has been talking more about you than me.
H: They have?
KI: They're actually meeting each other, face to face, in a stable group, talking about things that are still petty, but somewhat better than the boring crap I come home to.
...Even got my wife talking about more things than politics. I don't know how you accomplished that...
H: All I did was ask her how her day was.
KI: Are you serious?
H: Yeah. But, I'm sure you already ask her things like that, so...
...
KI: Smartass. Just like Kindle. I can see how you two became fast friends.
H: I talked to him. That's how it happened.
KI: And mounted him, apparently.
H: Wha...
KI: He told us. He'd never admit something so embarrassing, so pathetic...
H: He's a...I don't even know what to call him, now.
KI: Before you learned, he said you were his "friend". So, call him that.
H: But-
KI: Call him that. He doesn't have many, the antisocial fool, so don't stop calling him that.
H: Hmm.
KI: Don't "Hmm" me, boy. Say, "Yes, my lord."
H: Yes...My lord.
KI: Damn straight.
...
KI: Oh, I heard you denied my daughters sexual pleasure? Yeah, I'm gonna have to kill you now.
H: Wha...!
KI: Oh, I'm joking. I don't know how you had it within you to put them down.
H: I didn't want to be rude.
KI: Ha! You think free love is rude?
H: Only amongst strangers. And blood.
# loss...
...
KI: Lily seemed the most worried about you. What did you ask her?
H: It was more like she asked me questions about me. She didn't want to go along with Lilith, so she-Well, she tried to have a good conversation with me. Not that I was any better...
KI: Lily tries. Oh, she tries.
H: I've only talked to her for a while, but she seems like a real sweetheart.
KI: Good that you still willingly think that. Just don't forget to call Kindle "friend" and we won't have any issues.
Oh, hey, if you're really fond of Lily...
H: I'm still recovering, so please...No ostentatious thoughts.
KI: Way to kill the mood.
H: It was already dead before we started talking.
KI: Hah! It was, wasn't it?
H: Yeah...
...
KI: Shit, we're bonding, aren't we?
# are?
KI: Didn't think we'd get this far in the conversation. Just wanted to explain a few things, but then...
H: So much for that speech of not caring.
KI: Yeah...That's another thing about me: I may or may not be full of crap at times.
H: I take it that's the trait your wife gravitates the most toward?
KI: Wow. You are the only Novun to talk smack about me and my wife at the same time and still not be dead. Why aren't you dead yet?
H: You appreciate a realist when you see one.
KI: GOD. DAMN IT. Why couldn't YOU have been my son? You're more lively than the brooder I got stuck with.
H: Hey, Kindle had his moments.
KI: Does he? Hard to notice when he's always such a depressing dick.
H: He's the most...normal?...out of everyone, so please cut him some slack.
KI: Oh, yeah? What makes him the most normal?
H: He wants to primarily mate with things not related to him.
KI: Despite the exceptions?
H: Yeah, same with you.
...
Seriously, it's like a mirror with you two.
KI: Hmph. Thanks for the talk, Mr. Montana...
H: No problem, my Queen.
(21)
V: So, the Novun's returned from his state of delirium.
LA: Took him long enough.
LB: Oh, Harry! We were so worried about you!
LA: C'mon, we weren't THAT worried.
K: Ahem...It's good to have you back, man.
H: I think it's good to be back.
K: Hey...Are you sure you're all right now? I mean...I know you aren't all right with everything if that sudden collapse is anything to go by, but...
H: This all feels so...bizarre...now.
K: You don't know the half of it. Wasn't too long ago I let a Novun ride me, threw two fits, assaulted my own guards, attempted to murder my own mother, rushed everyone to get together to help you, witnessed mother snap at my father after a year of absence, and just...This is all a mess. A big, freaking mess.
H: In no less than a week.
K: I bet you've never had to deal with a dysfunctional group like us before.
H: Not on your level, by no means, but I've met my fair share of strange folks.
K: Hmm. So...Are we...I mean, are you still staying for the contract?
H: It's gonna be...an experience, but I think I can handle a few extra days.
K: Look, just stay away from everything female here and you'll be fine.
H: So, your dad's fine for me, then?
K: Tread at your own risk. Who knows what the hell he's been through?
H: I had a talk with him a while ago. He's not too different from you, actually.
K: Until he leaves mother for a gryphon, I won't believe it.
H: Officially, you mean?
K: Heh.
H: So, you guys patched things up after yesterday?
K: Barely. Though, I've noticed mother take a few steps back whenever I enter the room now. A nice bonus, I'd say.
Lilith's still a spiteful bitch who's gonna get it coming one of these days.
Lily's the least rotten out of us, but too submissive for her own good.
And father? Father just doesn't give a fuck.
Sigh. What a family.
H: It's gonna take a lot of contracts to sort these matters out.
K: Not enough, more like. Well, at least we started talking to each other now.
...But it's really awkward, seeing each other frequently as opposed to certain moments.
H: Yeah, let's not talk about those for now.
K: Agreed...
...
LB: So, Harry. Are you still gonna stay here for a while? I heard about mother breaking that contract for you.
H: Your brother, erm...made a new contract for me after the last one was broken, so I won't be leaving yet.
LB: That's good. It's good to have other people around.
H: It is...
LB: And it must mean Kindle really likes you if he hasn't demanded you to leave yet.
H: Well, I don't think he "really" likes me. I think he's just glad that the one person forced to spend most of the week with him isn't someone familiar.
LB: Yeah, it gets really boring around here. I only have two people to play with when mother and father aren't away.
H: Hmph. Reminds me of a close friend of mine.
LB: Who?
H: Ever heard of the royal Darius family in Hikanim? I'm an associate to the prince there, Jedediah Carnello Darius, and his situation is, well, slightly similar to yours.
LB: So, his parents are almost never around?
H: Well, that's the thing. They're always busy working in the castle while he's left busy learning how to be a king through scholars, political figures, and personal trainers.
LB: So, what makes us similar?
H: He loves his parents, but he's never able to spend much time with them. He told me once that he could tell me the names of a hundred soldiers but that he has to remind himself daily of his own parents' names.
LB: Wow. That's a lot of names.
H: Yeah, I can't even remember that much.
LB: That is kinda sad, though. I feel bad for him.
H: ...It's one of the reasons I continue writing to him.
LB: What are the other reasons?
H: Huh?
LB: Why you still write to him?
H: We...traveled in the same group together, over a year ago. We explored lots of places, went on a few adventures, and learned a lot from each other.
LB: Oh! So, he's your best friend?
# Yeah, I believe he is. He's brash and outspoken, but he's a good soul.
LB: Um...Like the gryphon is Kindle's best friend?
H: OH, GEEZ, NO!
LB: Woah!
H: Nothing like that at all!
LB: Oh. Sorry.
H:...No, I should be apologizing. I'm just...really sensitive about that, I guess.
LB: I'm sorry, I-I didn't know...
H: No, it's okay.
LB: Please don't be mad at me.
H: No, really, Lily, it's fine-
LB: 'Cause I don't want you to be mad at me. I already have enough people mad at me.
H: Aw...Don't worry about it. Even if I tried to, I don't think I could be mad at you.
LB: Even after what me and my sister tried to do?
H: That was an ugly situation, I admit, but at least you refused to go through with it.
LB:...
H: That takes a lot of guts, to stand up to your sister. I respect you for that.
LB: Um...Thank you.
H: Hey...
LB: Huh?
H:...I'm willing to forgive and forget if you're willing to do the same.
LB: Really?
H: Really. No sense holding a grudge, right?
LB: Yeah. Um...Do you forgive me?
H: I do.
LB: Oh. That was easy.
H: But it feels good, doesn't it?
LB: You know, it kinda does. So...Does this mean we can be friends now?
H: I thought we were already friends.
LB: Huh?
H: Oh, nothing. It's just a thing I say.
LB: So...
H: Oh, yeah, we can be friends, now.
LB: Oh. Okay. So...What "do" friends do? I mean, your kind of friends?
H: We've already been doing what friends do: Talking to each other, expressing ourselves, asking each for forgiveness when we mess up, all that stuff.
LB: Oh. So, they don't...
H: They don't what?
# close to each other or...
H: Sometimes. But the close acts of affection are purely platonic.
LB: Plu-what?
H: Like, not questionable or sexual.
LB:...
H: No nasty things.
LB: Oh! Okay...Well, that...kinda makes me sad.
H: Why?
LB: 'Cause I wanna get close, but I'm afraid I might do things I shouldn't.
H: Uhh...Wow...Let me say it like this: Getting close to anything above the waist and below the knees is fine. And, uh, no matter what, no kissing.
LB: What about licking?
H: (Long sigh, thinks to himself) As long as it's friendly, you know, not too much of it, it's tolerable.
LB: Okay, then!
H: Uff-Hey!
LB: This is okay, right?
H: Uff-Yeah, it's fine-UGH, NOT THE INSIDE OF THE EARS, THOUGH!
LB: Oh! Oh! Sorry!
H: Ahem. Anywho...Yeah, that's about right.
LB: Giggle.
H: Ahem.
...
H: Hey, Kindle.
K: Yo.
H: So...
K: Nice day today, huh?
H: Yup.
...
H: Someone slipped me a talisman while I was out.
K: Thistle wanted to bring you something after she heard what happened, so while my folks were arguing, I snuck her in and showed her to you.
H: Oh.
K: "Snuck" is not really the word. Those two were were like schizos, yelling at each other, nuzzling each other, giving glares to each other, too busy to notice us waltz on by.
H: It was that easy?
K: Yeah. They should argue more often. Might give me some actual privacy.
H: I'm glad I wasn't there to hear it.
K: You hate arguments?
H: I do. I might've gotten away with a few speeches, but in truth, I hate arguing.
K: Let me guess. You never win them?
H: There's that, and the fact that I don't like people raising their voices at each other. I never have.
K: Did your folks argue?
H: They did. I never got used to it.
K: Huh. Well, what doesn't kill you...
H: Right. Anywho, give Thistle my regards.
K: I certainly will.
H: Hmm. Now that your dad is here, does that mean...
K: Yup. No more arranged marriages for me.
H: That's good to here. And...You and your mother...
K: Anything can happen at this point. She might be too overwhelmed by father's "I don't care" attitude to try anything, or she could send guards to kill us in our sleep. You never know.
H: You're very nonchalant about this.
K: I decided to act like my father for once. Well, maybe not once.
H: Huh.
# It got real heated back there and...Just to be clear, I'd never stab you just to get to her. Mother isn't worth that much. But...Why did you defend her, really?
H: I've encountered a lot of scum in my time here. But she's a different kind. She's never done the terrible things I've fought people for, but that one mark, that one terrible mark puts her on their level. But...I don't think that's fair. To them or to her. That that one sin forever holds you to the level of scum, no matter who you are or what you accomplish...It justifies nothing but...I don't know.
K: No, before you learned. You knew I hated her, yet you sprung toward her like I was the bad guy.
H: Remember what I tried to say about one of the rules of my contracts? No bloodshed unless it's absolutely necessary. And I didn't know yet, so I didn't see murdering her out of spite as a sound idea.
K: But-Sigh...Okay. That's fair...Barely.
H: I'm glad you showed restraint, even with what you've been through. It makes you the stronger person, you know?
K: To you, maybe. Father was kinda pissed I didn't go through with it. Ha, like I guessed. Then, mother got pissed at father for saying that and...Yeah.
H: Still...I'm strangely proud you, Kindle.
K: You're making me blush.
H: Heh.
...
H: So...You haven't been...I mean, with your...
K: I've stopped ever since I met Thistle. Well...Okay, that's not entirely true, but...We started occasionally, um, indulging a few years ago. It was an occasional thing, we were all deprived of certain desires and...It doesn't make it any better, not at all. But once I met Thistle, we started engaging less. After a while, we stopped entirely. That was when we stopped talking, too.
H: And nothing, um, else happened? No pregnancies or dis-erm.
K: Diseases?
H: No, I-
K: Nope. We lucked the hell out, we did, and bitterleaf helped, too, but...When people talk about spending quality time with your family, I know our way was certainly not the right way. And, after seeing what happened to you...I'd rather it doesn't happen again.
H: I don't think it will. I haven't fainted yet during this conversation, so I think it's getting me desensitized and such.
K: It's like I said. What doesn't kill you...
...
K: Hey, Harry?
H: Yeah?
K:...Thistle doesn't know.
H: She...
K: I told her the battle caused you to get extremely fatigued, that you fought most of the guards with my support and still managed to defend mother, just to pass out by the end of it.
H: Did she believe you?
K: It's a stretch, considering you didn't have any major wounds, but she believed me. You're like a hero in her eyes now.
H: I don't detect a hint of jealousy, do I?
K: Hmph. Get over yourself. I was her hero long before you came along.
H: You sure it's not the other way around with you two?
K: Heh. That's not a bad question. She is pretty awesome. And pretty...pretty.
...
K: I can't imagine what she'd say if she found out. Harry, promise me-
H: There's no need for promises. Since there's no need to tell.
# it. That's four I owe you.
H: Four?
K: The two visits, stopping me, and being decent. And I don't care what you say, the first two aren't on the mountain.
H: You know you don't owe me anything, man.
K: That's a dirty lie and you know it, Mr. Montaine. The contract, remember?
H: Oh, right.
...
H: You guys got any drums? Or guitars?
K: Drums?
H: Yeah.
K: We might have an old pair or two somewhere. Why?
H: Do you guys play music?
K: I haven't played anything in years. No idea about the others. You?
H: I had some beginner classes for drums and guitars years ago. Kinda fixin' to practice a bit, if you have either.
K: Hmm. Let's check in the lower areas...
(21)
K: Father?
KI: Son.
K: What brings you to these lower areas?
KI: Absolutely nothing. I followed you two to see what you were up to, so here I am.
K: Oh. How did we not notice you?
KI: I've gotten extremely skilled at vanishing at will. It's why no one notices me until I make myself known.
K: Well, look, we came down here to find if we had any musical instruments.
KI: What the hell for? Did you become a bard while I was gone?
K: No, Harry knows how to play drums and guitar.
H: Just some beginner stuff, really.
KI: Oh? Well, play me a song, oh mighty musician.
H: I don't really know songs. Maybe one military cadence for the drums, but that's it.
KI: Bah! Some bard.
K:...Well, let's take them up.
...
K: So much for privacy.
KI: I figured you two amateurs would appreciate a royal audience to judge your work.
K: This isn't a professional practice session, father. Just us hitting drums like crazy idiots. And maybe a guitar, too.
KI: Just pretend I'm not here. You do that anyways, don't you?
K: Sigh. You shouldn't be here, you'll likely drag mother over here.
KI: The horrid sound of your shoddy playing skills will do that, not me!
K: Which is why, if we had doors, loud sounds wouldn't be a problem!
KI: We are NOT discussing this again!
H: Guys! Can we please play?
K: Yeah, whatever...Hey, Harry, what was that cadence you were talking about?
H: Oh, I think it goes like this...No. Nope. No, that's not right.
...
H: Uh, close but not perfect.
K: It doesn't have to be perfect, just play it.
H: Okay...Not great, but not bad.
K: Huh. So...That was a thing.
KI: Hmm. This sounds like the kind of thing you play during military ceremonies.
H: That's what it was used for in my wor-uh, country.
KI: Pardon?
H: Wow, I'm horrible at this.
KI: Playing or lying? I'm wagering both.
# should probably be more honest with you guys now.
K: Remember where you can get to, Harry, if you haven't been.
H: No, I have been but-Not completely honest.
KI: Well, go on! You know of our sins, so inform us of yours.
H: It's not that, it's...I'm not from this world.
...
H: I was brought here by this purple stone over a year ago. I've tried to figure out how to get back, showed lots of people it, but no such luck.
KI: Are...Are you serious?
H: I am. After a while, I kinda stopped asking about it. Preferred doing contracts more for my group.
KI: Wha-But-You're so casual about this whole thing, like parallel world traveling is just a typical occurrence to you.
H: It's not, but I don't know what else to say about it. I mean, it happened, and that's that.
KI: That's that? No worries about your family or friends in your world?
H: Not really family, and no friends. I wasn't much use to them, anyway.
K: That's a hell of a thing to say. Not just the world traveling thing, but that "you" consider yourself a useless son to your kin.
H: Well, I wasn't the most productive or loving son. Not compared to the others. So, it's not totally unbelievable that I'd think that.
K: Well, I...guess I can't change anything about that, can I?
KI: You...are full of crap, Mr. Montaine.
H: The world traveling thing does sound insane, doesn't it?
# are not a useless son.
...
Not if what I've heard about you from my kin is correct.
...
Do you want to know a terrible fact? You've done more for my family in less than a week than I have in a year.
...
I know they hate me for abandoning them. My wife, for never consoling her. My son, for setting a terrible example for him. My poor, sweet daughters, for...for...
...
So, don't you go telling us you're not a useful son, because you are. I know I told you my saying, and I don't know why in the world I'm going against it, but you...You helped out for some things. Understand?
H:...Yes, my lord...
KI: Of course, that's not gonna change things, because I don't care enough to change anything.
H: I'm sure you'd be able to accomplish a lot more if you did.
KI: Hmph. If I did...
...
H: Kindle?
K: Oh. For a second there, I felt that strange sensation again.
H: You all right now?
H: Yeah. Now.
...
K: So, anything else you'd like share before you get the suggestion again?
H: Harry Montaine is my contract name.
K: Well, of course it it. It's there on the bottom, see?
H: I mean, it's only a name I use for contracts.
K: To protect your real name?
H: Yeah.
K: You can't make an exception now, can you? I mean, you made a few exceptions during mother's contract, so...
H: I'll say this: You can call me Danny if you want.
K: Danny?
H: Not exactly my true first name, but I'm sure you can glean what it is if you think hard en-
K: Daniel.
H: If that's what you believe.
K: Oh, don't play the ambiguous type now, Mr. World Traveler.
KI: It doesn't help that you're a terrible lier.
H: If that's what you believe.
...
Doo-Dooooo...
...
Doo-Doo-Dooooo...
...
Doo-Doo-Deh-Doooo-Doooo...
...
Doo-Doo
Doo-Doo
Doo-Deh-Dooo
Doo-Doo
Doo-Doo
Doo-Deh-Dooo
Doo-Doo-Dehh-Doo-Dehh-Doo-Dehhhh
Nah-Nah-Dehhh-Doo-Deh-Doo
Doo-Doo
Doo-Doo
Doo-Deh-Dooo
Doo-Doo-Dooo-Doo-Dooo-Doo-Dooo
Doo-Doo-Deh-Neww-Neww
Doo-Doo-Deh-Neww-Neww
Doo-Deh-Newww-Neww-Newww-Neww-Newwww
Doo-Doo-Deh-Neww-Neww
Doo-Doo-Deh-Neww-Neww
Doo-Deh-Newww-Neww-Newww-Neww-Newwww
KI: Why are you singing about "new crap", Mr. Montaine?
H: What? Oh-Heh. It does sound like that, doesn't it?
KI: What sort of chant is that?
H: From an old game I used to play. It was, like, the menu theme to it.
KI: A board game with a food menu played this "theme" to you?
H: No, it's-Think of it as like an electronic board game that plays music throughout the game.
KI: An electronic board game that plays music to you? Why have I never-Oh, of course. Traveler.
H: Yeah...
# should invest in that...
(22)
V: Why are you all huddled around each other here?
#
KI:...Deshira.
V: Don't call me that!
H: We were just discussing music.
V: That explains the horrid sounds in the distance.
KI: Hmph.
# only came by to give you my thanks, Harry.
H: Don't mention it. Really, let's forget the whole thing even happened.
V: It's already been forgotten.
H: That's good.
V: I may have been mistaken. Perhaps it was my son that created those terrible sounds.
K: Better than the terrible sounds you created!
KI: Shit, I didn't know my son could breath fire.
V: Tch!...So...Are you a competent player, Harry?
H: Barely. I know just one military cadence.
V: Really, now? Let me have a hear.
...
V: How intense. I could feel the vibration of your thrusts from over here.
K and KI: (Stare)
H: Umm, thank you.
V: And I don't just say that to anyone, you know.
K and KI: (Rolls eyes)
H: Queen Vera, now that everything is...less of a mess now, I want to ask you something.
V: Oh, this should be either stress-inducing or entertaining.
H: ...How are you feeling?
K and KI: (Stare at H)
V: Hah! Is that what you really wish to ask me, Mr. Montaine?
H: It is.
# you jest?
H: No, I'm a pretty terrible jester, actually.
V: Oh, what a delicious lie! You should become one. You'd look just ravishing in one of their outfits.
KI: JUST FUCK ALREADY!!!
...
# excuse my dear husband. He can't seem to stop thinking about such questionable activities even among us.
KI: Don't get mad just 'cuz I don't give you any every damn day.
V: Getting any is not what I require AND YOU-...Ahem...Please excuse my outburst, Mr. Montaine. What I meant to say...
Is that I feel well.
H: You do?
V: Indeed, I do.
H: Well, that's good to hear.
V: Such a minor question to ask. Is there not any other question you wish to ask me?
H: As a matter of fact, there is.
V: Ask away.
# you play drums?
V: (Facepalm) No, no I do not play drums.
H: You wanna learn?
V: Why, I...I've never met a Novun quite like you before, Mr. Monotonous.
H: What, don't Novuns ask you on a daily basis if you want to learn drums?
V: Drums...Of all things...Drums...
Okay, fine. I'll humor your request this one time.
...
V: My, my...
Everyone: My?
V: I will admit, that was quite...fun. Somewhat abhorrent to the ears and unconventional at times, but not exceedingly terrible.
H: Nothing gets the heart pumping quite like the beat of the drum.
V: Oh, I can think of-
K and KI: DON'T!
V: Hah. If you insist. Well, I think that's enough of this recreational activity, I've got a kingdom to run. (Looks at KI)
KI: What does it look like I've been doing-(Nuzzle) Oh.
K: Absolutely disgusting, Harry. We should outlaw public displays of affection while we're here.
V: And smart-aleck sons, too.
K: AND HORRID MOTHERS!
V: Only as horrid as the offspring I produce.
K:...Touché.
V: Sorry, I don't speak Feurset. I'm a proper queen, after all.
K: Proper, she says...
V: Heh.
...
H: Did...Did you two just have a moment?
K: What? No, of course we didn't! I still hate her guts!
H: Then, why did you smirk after she left?
K: I didn't smirk, I-I was thinking about a joke I heard.
H: If you say so.
K: Hmph.
...
# might've been the first real mother-son moment we've ever had...
H: There's a first for everything.
K: And...I felt that feeling again...
H: Indigestion?
K: Yeah. Had to be.
H: Even though we didn't eat yet.
K: Hey, let me figure it out on my own.
H: Yes, my prince.
K: Ugh, don't ever call me that! Thistle calls me that and it drives me insane!
H: Well, you are.
K: A prince or insane?
H: That is the question.
K: God. Damn it. I'm gonna hate when you leave us for good.
H: It's just as well. Even a good joke can get stale after a while.
K: Daniel.
#
K: Dude. You're like...my best friend.
H: I SHOULD GO.
K: No, no, not like that! I mean...The kind of best friend I don't get confused feelings toward. I mean, I do get those, but not in the same way as Thistle.
H: You mean, the kind of best friend you can drown your heart out to and not be afraid of them rejecting your thoughts?
K: Yeah. What you said.
H: See, that's better. Although, I'm fine with just being a "friend".
K: Friends don't let friends break the rules of their mothers. Friends don't continue to talk to friends when they realize they went down on people they shouldn't have went down on. And friends don't tell other friends they're from other worlds when the other friends could easily exploit them for information about their world.
H: I suppose.
K: You are not a friend anymore. You are a best friend.
H: I'm...honored.
K: I'm sure you are.
H: Hmm.
K: Careful, Danny. It only took you two days to be my friend, and four days to be my best friend. Who knows what you'll be on the sixth?
H: Hungry?
K: What?
H: I mean, that's what I am now. Hungry.
K: Oh. Well...Yeah, me too. Let's go get something.
(End of part three)
EDIT: Wonder if anyone can guess what menu theme song Harry was humming.
