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Reconsidering my Hopes and Dreams
9 years ago
Caution: What you're about to read below came out of the wild and abstract mind of a young manipulative little liox. Be careful of every single word he spoke.
Hi guys, just a little update of what I had been up to during my hiatus :P
First off, my art block is nowhere breaking off yet, so many ideas, no capability to bring them to paper =.= Also, I managed to get a job, as a fire protection engineer in a family business; that's my final resort after failing to find and secure any early educator position. It's not a bad job though, I got to work at height and tried a bunch of hands-on constructions. Though I don't think it's something I'll like to do for my lifetime.
Then it occurred to me, that's not something what I want to do for my lifetime :o I still want to be a preschool teacher, I still want to draw, I still want to be a furry for as long as I can. Then I realized, I had been playing around too much in my life; I had never thought this much about my future and life before. Probably because the fact I was refused various educator positions, I had drove myself to a dead-end. And now I'm working in the construction sector, that's so far-fetched from what I watched. I even commissioned a pic of me as a preschool teacher, now, it just feels like I'm lying to myself :<
In line with my hope of being an educator, I had also hoped to pursue further studies, though choices are slim since my previous grades were borderline-average, unless I have to study overseas, away from my family. And without further studies, my chances of a relevant career are slim too. Actually, I had very little knowledge of the choices available, I had not done any researches prior to what I hoped to be. Not to mention, my career choices from my studies split to a psychologist as well, not only just an educator. It feels like a conflict of interests here, which one can I specialize in? Oh right, there's still this family business to take care of in the future, and my position in it is very secure. but as I said, it's not something I may like doing.
I don't know, shall I pursue further studies and my educator passion with risks of being rejected? Or take a different role as a psychologist, having to pick up anew again? Or take over the family business? Can I still continue to draw and being who I am? Where will I be in the next few years? What will I be doing? Will it be something I want? Shall I follow my hopeful dreams, or realistic expectations?
I had been fooling around too much with my life. Will I... still be able to redeem myself?
I better take note of all these down before I return to my hiatus... Oh wait, I already did.
There's nothing to stop you from pursuing your dreams, but also don't get so tied up in your dreams that you miss out on other opportunities that may be just as fulfilling. By all means, continue your education if that's what it will take to get you where you want to be. There are also plenty of other opportunities to work with children that may not have to do with education directly. My sister is a child psychologist and works with the state's preschool administrative program. There are doors and windows aplenty if you can just be aware of them.