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[UPDATE] Summary
9 years ago
General
Welcome to INCtastics Journal Well to summerize my one week of holiday from work before going to sleep
I went to my friend on Friday because he was not allowed at my house “because it’s complicated” even though we don’t even want so much attention or anything... and then the internet at his place went out for a week...
Yeah we were together and had fun talking and making things up but not having internet sucked extremely and I tried to just do some stuff still, which resulted in me already using up nearly all of my internet for the month on my phone and one connection cable to my headphone broke on the way home.
And I had to re arrange my rooms stuff because my mother didn’t wanted my desk to be directly at the heater.
I got sick on the second day with a strong flu and even infected my friend and we were quite bored the whole week.
I was looking forward to Warframe or World of Warcraft since I had actual free time now but that was quite impossible. Yesterday night was althrouhg the best I had in a long time because we talked until 4 am about his story and characters and locations for it like a monumental poison swamp or a flying sky city with artificial gravity on the upper and lower zone and so on and it was really funny especially with the instant sound buttons and “JOHN CENA”
We had good laughs and fun but I think this is more or less the summary of the positive things besides beeing with him all the time.
And my parents don’t care for shit about it, but fuck it. Towards them I am quite in a bad mood and I don’t think that will change sooner or later.
I also nearly pulverized already nearly all money i have for this month. Sure I still have everything from which I put on Paypal but I’m unsure to what I will do with it. I want some commissions but whenevere I think of them it gets so incredibly much that all that money would just be a drop of water on a hot stone.
I also want a PS4 to play Bloodborne again and a second Desktop for chats while gaming and all, it would be very confinient and I don’t know where to get the money. I luckily bought already everything I wanted for Warframe and WoW at least, I should also play some Heroes of the Storm for the current event.
And finish the storyboard for the second segment of my Oculemna story and maybe write it down.
Also I am quite worried since I kinda had the idea of one.. or two “private” commissions that I don’t want to show publically because... I don’t want anyone to see it but I bet my headset that as soon as I have it I will have a blasting urge to upload and show it and I know nobody with the same interest in that particular thing as me and the other things is something I want to share between me and a friend.
It’s always a thing with me and just doing what I like since a few years and I am not even sure if what I talk, write, upload or do is of any importance or interest to anybody. I often feel like a yeller on the school yard when I write these things and nobody pays the least bit attention to what I say because.... why should anybody listen to what I say or read what I write? I am not of any significance or importance either on here or any other platform.
I have so many ideas and when I talk to friends about them they are well recieved in like 90% of the cases but I don’t think the general people have any interest in it and the thought of that kinda makes me feel emberassed and guilty for even trying.
There is always this thought in the back of my head about “doing what you want.” Yeah many people do that, and many people don’t stand in a positive light due to that. Like that blond asshat of an american president candidate, he does what he wants but everyone hates him. And I don’t really want to be hated for doing what I want... and that’s what I’m afraid of (amongst other things)
And sometimes I even think it would have been better if I didn’t had all these ideas and stories and characters... and to be honest... I don’t think it makes much of a difference after all.
Well I guess that’s enough rambling and mumbling for the day. I have to hit the sheets very soon because I have to get up early again. (It’s also not helping that my parents don’t consider me equal in terms of work before I havn’t worked like 20 years in a row or something... at least that’s what I assume)
Kopf hoch Incy, wird schoin wiedeR :)
Das sag ich jedem anderen auch immer |D Wenn sich das Gefühl nicht schon seit Jahren durchziehen würde...
I'm insteresting about your ideas, characters and stories nwn always people like you, have a lot of ideas that they erase because of the fear or to be punished by the people... you never have to do that, your ideas may be awesome, i'm sure nwn
Far as i know about your accounts on DA or here on FA, i like your characters, the cute drawings you did with Pikuna about digimon, and things like that, they are great ideas nwn you even inspired me to continue with my own stories without fear, and that's what i do.
So, don't be afraid about anything if your work and ideas are just that, ideas that doesn't hurt anybody.
I will be waiting for more stuff about you, cheer up and be strong, i know you can do it for sure nwn)/
(Sorry if i made mistakes about gramma or something looks weird... i'm still learning english and i just wanted to say what i was feeling about what you had wrote here.)
maybe they are? I can't really say it, for ME they sound good and cool, but I just don't know if others would think the same =w=
I take pride in being the cause of somebody continuing their work and going on, I love to hear that I at least inspired some people, thanks for that, alot.
well my ideas hurt the characters in the stories, that's for sure because they aren't nice stories (at least not at the beginning) but welp =w= I enjoy some drama in them...
I try to, thanks for your lovely words Ania, I appreciate them!
(nah it's okay, I can understand if somebody still learns it, you are doing a good job with it, keep on going :3)
Even show my "dark side" xD
So, go ahead with your stories x3
Muss man mit leben - leider B"D Leute die in irgendetwas mehr Efahrung haben, haben oft ein Respekt-Problem.
Und das mit dem "Schreien ins Leere" verstehe ich vollkommen. Ich zeichne mein zeugs unglaublich wenig und selbst wenn ich es habe uploade ich es fast kommentarlos. Es fühlt sich einfach awkward an viel zu schreiben.
Aber dann erinnere ich mich an andere Zeichner die das auch so handhaben und wo ich gerne mehr erfahren hätte. Oder viele Fanfiktions die 20x mehr Views als Kommentare haben. (Und wie oft ich etwas sehe, lese, speicher ohne ein Kommentar da zu lassen.)
Vermutlich liest es doch jemand gerne - aber derjenige ist vielleicht nicht so gesprächig online. Davon gibt es jede Menge. Trotzdem - ich fühle mich da genauso und kanns vollkommen nachvollziehen /o
Ich hoffe ihr habt euch von der Krnakheit erholt. Ist ja ein Klassiker im urlaub erwischt zu werden. (Und ich wünschte mein browser würde Sprachen mal erkennen wie unter Win7. ALLES ist Rot. Sorry für Fehler /D)
=w= Oder zumindest wenn sie MEINEN mehr Erfahrung zu haben - aber das ist ja das witzige, die menschliche Geschichte ist eine sich ewig wiederholende Pointe - "Jungspunt weiß nix" hat schon Sokrates vor 2000 Jahren in Griechenland gesagt
Bei mir ist es einfach ein zeit- oder lust-problem oder die tatsache "Von mir will man sowieso keinen kommentar sehen oder ich bin sowieso nur creepy" |D
Auf Tumblr schein ich da jemanden zu haben der annonym aus weiter ferne alles liest und es mag aber nie was sagt, außer 2 mal in nem annonymen ask |D Danke...
ja haben wir, Halsschmerzen, Husten, Schnupfen volles Programm :< Aber naja solange MAN WIEDER ZUR ARBEIT GESUND IST...
(das ist schon so scheiße |D aber ne stimt soweit alles, ich kann's lesen xD)
Ich habe es schon mal gesagt und ich werde es immer wieder sagen: Deine Meinung ist mir wichtig. Und alles was in deinem Kopf rumschwirrt ist deine Meinung, also lass' sie raus. Du wirst sehen, es gibt mehr Leute die sich für deine Stories interessieren als Du denkst. Und was die Leute angeht die sich nicht dafür interessieren, dann ist es halt so. Es mögen ja auch nicht alle Leute Tolkien, aber trotzdem ist er wohl einer der bekanntesten Autoren. Und er hat auch klein angefangen.
"And sometimes I even think it would have been better if I didn’t had all these ideas and stories and characters... and to be honest... I don’t think it makes much of a difference after all." - Denk sowas nicht, ein kluger Mann sagte mir einst, dass man das was einem am Herzen liegt nicht einfach so mit den Füßen tritt und ich gehe davon aus, dass dir deine Ideen, Stories und Charaktere am Herzen liegen.
Und was die Sache mit den Eltern angeht, es sind Eltern, die sind halt so.