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Gamble (MAY CONTAIN RL DRAMA.)
16 years ago
I suppose it's only fair that I tell you all the other side of things. One of you knows the rest of the story already, but I didn't want the rest of you to worry. Unless I have a job by this Tuesday--that is to say Tuesday, june 23rd, two days from now--I will have no place to live.
As such, I've been a little busy. I've got no intention of surrendering or doing anything but hitting as many places as humanly possible, which is what I've been doing for the past ~24 hours, online and off. I just scored an interview at Sears; I can do cashiering and sales, having had experience at Macy's before. I also have an interview at amberzombie and flich on the same day. I have to contact the department store I worked at seasonally tomorrow, and later today I intend to go out looking for things in the shopping villages around here.
I might be better off looking for homeless shelters. I've been a fool to take advantage of their generosity, and I regret it to the bone. ...if this works out, Dyzz and I are going to move out once I sort out classes and work schedules.
She needs to be free.
My significant other is five years older than I am--yes, she's 28--and she has lived with her parents her entire life. It's painfully easy to forget that, because she FEELS as young as I do--late teens--though she's got a different brand of maturity to her than most people do. I can't bear the thought of her letting herself be trampled by everyone's needs for another year, and she's fractured deeply about the possibility of losing me.
I'm a low rabbit. I know I'm a low rabbit. But for some unfathomable reason, there are people online and off who depend on me. So, because of those people, if not just for myself, I can't lose here.
I've never told anyone this, but when I was about nine to twelve years old, I was playing Mario Kart late at night (Yes, the first one. Old rabbit is old.) when I got so frustrated af the obviously cheating AI, I thought about selling my soul for a lightning bolt (an ingame item.)
It showed up.
I was terrified, of course. I was young. I thought, and sometimes still wonder, if I did sell my soul for something abstract--skill in games, the bliss of the abstract escapism that books and games and sometimes even music can provide.
I won't wonder any more.
If I sold my soul, I'm buying it back, right now, with interest, through a willingness to work and a hope for a future in which I connect with living people. Yes, Her, but also Haya, and Essy, and maybe someday the others on here. I am a living thing; so I should try and act like one--a person.
But right now?
Right now I need to secure my future.
As such, I've been a little busy. I've got no intention of surrendering or doing anything but hitting as many places as humanly possible, which is what I've been doing for the past ~24 hours, online and off. I just scored an interview at Sears; I can do cashiering and sales, having had experience at Macy's before. I also have an interview at amberzombie and flich on the same day. I have to contact the department store I worked at seasonally tomorrow, and later today I intend to go out looking for things in the shopping villages around here.
I might be better off looking for homeless shelters. I've been a fool to take advantage of their generosity, and I regret it to the bone. ...if this works out, Dyzz and I are going to move out once I sort out classes and work schedules.
She needs to be free.
My significant other is five years older than I am--yes, she's 28--and she has lived with her parents her entire life. It's painfully easy to forget that, because she FEELS as young as I do--late teens--though she's got a different brand of maturity to her than most people do. I can't bear the thought of her letting herself be trampled by everyone's needs for another year, and she's fractured deeply about the possibility of losing me.
I'm a low rabbit. I know I'm a low rabbit. But for some unfathomable reason, there are people online and off who depend on me. So, because of those people, if not just for myself, I can't lose here.
I've never told anyone this, but when I was about nine to twelve years old, I was playing Mario Kart late at night (Yes, the first one. Old rabbit is old.) when I got so frustrated af the obviously cheating AI, I thought about selling my soul for a lightning bolt (an ingame item.)
It showed up.
I was terrified, of course. I was young. I thought, and sometimes still wonder, if I did sell my soul for something abstract--skill in games, the bliss of the abstract escapism that books and games and sometimes even music can provide.
I won't wonder any more.
If I sold my soul, I'm buying it back, right now, with interest, through a willingness to work and a hope for a future in which I connect with living people. Yes, Her, but also Haya, and Essy, and maybe someday the others on here. I am a living thing; so I should try and act like one--a person.
But right now?
Right now I need to secure my future.
But I didn't want you all to worry about me, and... I miss you all terribly. Promise me you'll keep jamming to music in those adorable panties for me?
You get out there and give em heck, bunny, you can do it. Essy's rooting for ya. Just remember, no matter what happens, there's a good side, and a way out of it to a better spot, just takes planning, thorough thinking, and work.