I just wanna say that you did the right thing.

You're not any of those things, like any relationship in life, sometimes the parties have different needs.

My partner and I went through the same thing last year with a puppy we were training to be a service animal. She was not the right fit for our needs and lifestyle, and she wasn't happy either.

We went through dog trainers and vets trying to figure out why she was doing some of the stuff she was doing, from her rando unpredictable aggression, bizarre lapse in being housebroken despite our consistency, and her endless energy regardless of the daily 2 and a half hours we were spending at the dog park in addition to an additional hour and a half at home brain training her to try to tire her out. She was destructive, a danger to herself and the cats, and we couldnt trust her at all no matter what we tried. Positive reinforcement training was lost on her--she had zero interest in toys, treats or affection in comparison to whatever she wanted to do at that moment. She managed to be simultaneously completely disinterested and extremely clingy at the same time--she had no interest in affection or play with us but would still be up our butts seeking attention destroying and EATING literally anything and everything except the appropriate toys we bought her and attempted to teach her to chew and play with.

No matter how puppy-proof the house was, she still found things to eat (tablet pens, dish cloths, all kinds of nasty stuff that could potentially kill her) because she discovered at 40 lbs she could jump onto tables and counters and had to be crated more than she should have needed at her age to make sure she didn't eat something that would give her a blockage and require emergency surgery we couldnt afford. Even after a long outing and hard play, she immediately would go on a search and destroy mission in our house unless she was contained.

The potty stuff got to the point where we couldnt even touch doors or perceived doors without her voiding on the spot unless someone was actively holding her off the floor and she was getting bigger every day. No one had any advice on how to fix this and assumed we had broken her somehow even though we did hardcore potty training by ALL the positive reinforcement books--potty trips on the hour every hour, zero accidents in the house, huge reward and praise for voiding outside, and taking care not to move too quickly with expected duration between breaks. We kept charts on her toileting times because we wanted to do right by her so bad. One day, less than an hour between outside trips, she peed in the house and from then on just started going any time someone tried to let her out of the house or her crate. Our suspicions that it was a medical issue ended up unfounded, the vet couldn't find anything. The trainer we took her too gave us suggestion after suggestion before giving up and telling us if carrying her worked thats just what we had to do even tho that was fast becoming an impossibility. We went back to square one and attempted to retrain her. We tried and tried and tried. We fought in our human relationship over the dog, both of us were depressed, nothing was working, and we had nothing to show for it and she then began biting indiscriminately.

At this point we weren't even trying to train a service dog, we were trying to train for a regular dog who would love us and we would love in return. I had no idea what we were going to do since i still needed a service animal.

I don't know why she started misbehaving. I don't know why she was unhappy, but at a certain point, the whys didn't matter. For whatever reason, Luna wasn't happy, and that really hurt.

It hurt feeling rejected by her.

It hurt feeling resentful towards this young dumb hair baby that couldn't understand how and why what she was doing was making our house a living nightmare for everyone else.

It hurt so so so bad realizing that we couldnt keep her, because everyone was miserable.

It hurt knowing that a ton of people would judge us viciously and shame us for it because in their eyes there's no good reason or excuse to leave that kind of partnership with an animal.

But at the end of the day, if positive reinforcement wasn't going to work for her, I wasn't willing to do punishment. I didn't want to be that kind of person training out of anger and frustration and not love and trust. I didn't want to end up with an animal only willing to obey as long as she feared some kind of retribution.

My partner and I are happy now. Luna's happy now at her new place. The cats are definitely a lot happier now. Everyone's moved forward with their lives for the better, human and animal alike, and we know what is a better fit for us.

You're not a bad person. You did the right thing. You made sure she went to a good home rather than dump her some place.

You are not selfish. Selfish would have been keeping her in an unideal situation out of pride.

You are not foolish. Foolish would be rushing out to get another puppy, you know what would be a good fit for your family now.

You are not weak. It takes a LOT of inner strength to face up to when you're in over your head and to do the right thing even if that's hard and painful.

I'm sorry this is such a long wall of text, like you don't have to reply to it or anything.

Take your time, get through your move, give yourself and your family some love, and take some time to heal. Love your art, sending hecka positive vibes your way.

Thank you for understanding, I have always been so mad when I'd see people with a pet they couldn't handle and saying they should have thought about it first, I became one of those people that I was so adverse too.. that was awful enough but seeing how bored she was even with playing all day and going on walks, I just kept thinking I had ruined her life, things have turned out so much better than expected, she has an experienced owner and a big house with acreage to roam, knowing this And that I'm not alone in biting off more than I can chew made me feel better, I was consoled by a few co-worker friends they had it happen to them, a dog seems like such a great idea, I have decided not to get any dog until it's old enough for the personality to show, I was so diligent in training but she really only listened me me, and only some of the time.. my poor BF had no such luck, she peed on the bed twice and was all over the counters and bathroom she didn't chew she just horded shoes, I'm happier now though.

she has a great home, and I know she'll be happy and healthy.
And we have our house back and peace of mind.
It's hard not to miss her, but I like not having to be up at 6 to take her out and having to lock her up if I had to leave.

I was so confident when we picked her up, I felt so grown up like a person who had control of there life.

Thank you for the kind words, I have been so depressed this week, I wallowed in self pity and cried for an hour the day she was picked up, and even my best friend was mad at me, she said it's a tiny life that I could have ruined, she tried to be understanding and simply asked me not to do this again, I swore off puppies.

she says I'm a cat person, and really I think there lack of needyness is perfect, I have personally raised my cat, he is an angle and such a love cat, I have my cat and rats and that's all I need.

not to mention they cost close to nothing in comparison, we spent about 180 and sadly not an ounce of that was spent on the vet.. that thought kills me even though she was only here a week.. I can't get it out of my mind, but I just keep reminding myself of how good she has it, and if we hadn't got her she would be in either ended up in a kennel or with a jerk,she was in a shady part of town.. and now she has a loving family, the man who got her has grand kids who named her and love her more than anything..

That nagging feeling is just so hard to shake that I was dumb that I messed up and could have really messed up a good dog by being ill equipped.

Thanks so much again, it's nice to hear I'm not alone and that one mishap doesn't make me bad.

I guess I have to make mistakes to learn.
If I get a dog in future it will definetly be a small adult who wants nothing but snacks and cuddles.