Just got over one of the most fucked up instances of my life. My only two living family members hate each other, which they just spent the last week re-discovering. (A) lied to me repeatedly, and is allied with a self-serving ingrate. (B) is a greedy, spiteful, possibly criminal man-child. I'm stuck with one or the other, and it's like picking the weaker of two poisons. And they are both poisonous, untrustworthy people.

Fuck me, it's worse than watching my mother die.

This is the kind of moment I wish I had a friend I know is on my side. Not family who is only on my side if I'm on theirs. They each have an ally that is there only for them. But my best friend and advocate, the only person worthy of my trust, died months ago.

And they don't realize that all of their hate, their horrible words, and their awful actions: these things have no impact on each other, but they hurt me. Because I'm caught in the middle, and I love them both, but they don't try. Not even a bit.

My god.......... I could use a hug. I know that it's only been a couple of years, but I think I finally deserve to receive, and not give, a hug.