sit down, wall of text incoming

Well some of your might not have noticed. I am creating this note to finish it all. Now evebody will know :3

Some years ago i started to get panic attacks, preety bad ones... As i went to therapy and made some personality tests i was able to knew myself a little better. Most of my panic attacks came from childhood problems, mostly bullyng. Things like trust near friends and get "betrayed". I mean it was kinda bad, trust in class mates then they turn against you and stuff. So one of the things of my tests was: "you are closed to the world by choice or defense". "you are really looking to defend yourself, alwayscreating mechanism to protect yourself".

Well, besides some problems in the college that i can fix, this one i had to really break some paradigms of my life.
Some of yours know i am with guax for about 3 years and my family dont know about it. Also i had something inside me since my... idk 5 years old? :V

The thing was: i had an diaper fetish. Until my 12 y'o i never tought that would be something sexual, was just an unusual interest.
For some reason, i dug inside myself and tried to bury that in there. Every time i tried to avoid that or ignore, it came stronger and stronger, until my 18 years i decided that it was an part of me and no one will never know this.

When i started dating guax, he asked me "mock, do you have any fetishes or things like that?". I said calmly: "nope :)".
Well, inside i was like: "ÇLASKDÇ~LASK WHY IDIOT, DONT KLSAJKASLJSALAS, should i tell? i dont wanna ruin it".

Well, some times i asked him like an joke: "Hey guax, if i were an cub or something? xDD". then he always said: "i would still love you even diapered <3". Outside i was in a poke face. Inside... welll infinite blushes and stuff :3

Now go back to the panic attacks... I started treating with some medicine and random therapy with no results... When i tought that i would never get those attacks while i was using the medicine... i got one. i never felt so alone and helpless before. Like, me and my famly spending tons of mony to fix that, and i got another attack? fuck!

Then i started to think what i heard about myself and decided to take an action. I was hiding too much of myself for an LONG time. C'mon, i always wanted to be an open person, but with fear of rejection, hate or be target of bully again, i never done that. Then i took a great step:

Decided to open myself.

It tooke about 9 hours trying to talk with guax about my diaper fetish... was the hardest thing i ever made. I kept that inside of me for 20 years, NO ONE EVER KNEW about that. god was hard omg.
He accepted me and forgive that i lied to him at the begin <3333333333333

So i decided to start slowly, tell my closest friends first. They all supported me... Then i created an alt account on f.a, but dont told anyone but the description. Mostly stalkers or lucky persons would notice xp

Then changing the avatar to an babyfur thing in some random places ...places

Found some others babyfurs that were in the same situation that i was (not with panic attacks). Actually i helped some of them.


Gotta say, i guess i never felt so good and happy with myself in like... 10 years? No sign of panic attacks or even anxiety stuff. Thinking in stop the medicine, just waiting i get to another psycologist (i had to change).

Next step: tell my famly about <3

I will do it after christmas.


So, thats my history. Now evebody should know. For the ones who already know me, one thing you will see in me: i am more happy :]
Otherwise nothing changes, i am still the same XD

Also, if you are wondering if i will start posting diapered stuff? I won't... in this account :3
I will do it on this one  mockulino

I guess thats it :3

Fell free to ask me ANYTHING on this journal. I will try to reply everything :3