Since I won't be able to get these things off my chest anyhow O=

So 2016 is over and apparently everybody hates the year! Some celebrities died and elections didn't went the way everyone would like them to go. But really, isn't that what nearly all the years happen. I kind of feel people focus too much on the negative things and pay too much attention to the good things in life.

I would say 2016 was the biggest turning point in my life so far. I changed my life completely just recently.
I fully blame Eurofurence 22, which I gathered all my strength for to even get there.
 Bennythedarkdragon helped me plenty by taking me along there, because alone I most certainly wouldn't have went there in the first place. He is truly an amazing friend and probably couldn't thank him enough for all the things he did for me so far ;3;
Pretty much calmed me down a lot and softened my social anxiety, so I could go out and meet so many awesome folk there. People like  Pilli10 or  Zed who pretty much accepted me and helped me realize some value in my life.

So Fact is... I was all my life obese, unhealthy, shy, anti social and a generally a none existent self esteem. Constant depression and mood swings were my thing. I pretty much just lived to go to work 12 hours a day to forget how miserable I was and getting as much comfort out of my friends as I could. I literatly didn't care if I would die the next week or so, which explains why I didn't care about my unheathy diet and looks and all. I was pretty much set on my life ending sometime the next few years down the line alone, just because I didn't see a point or possibility to change it.

But it all changed... I went there and met a lot of people who... accepted me... for being fat, for being shy, for being ME. It killed the part in me that didn't give a fuck about myself anymore. I finally wanted to improve myself again and get back into a life I never had. Even moreso after I saw a fursuit I truly adored and slowly planted the will in me, to get one like that as well.

So my first true goal since a long long time: Get a fursuit of Lilith.

For that I decided to safe money, get healthy and LOSE WEIGHT!
For real this time and not just half assed. I fully flipped my life around the past couple of months. Got myself a scale and a weight journal. Read up on healthy diets. Banned all sugary things in my life and drink nothing but water and tea (without sugar!). No more take out! Just freshly prepared meals with lots of fruits and veggies. Started training and working out! Lifting weights, building muscles and keep a rough regiment to this day.

I started at 165 Kilo ( about 360 pounds ) and lost about 20 Kilo ( about in the past 2 months ( 44 pounds ) and build up quite a bit of muscle. And in the new year I don't plan to stop! I want to be able to look in the mirror and like myself again. I want to be able to stand in front of friends and family and not be ashamed of what a mess of a person I am. I haven't been more determined in the almost 3 decades of my life I spent here on this planet.

As much as I love being fat in fiction, it's NOT FUN in the real world, you get sick, you shorten your life expectancy, you reduce your overall quality of life and everyone around you thinks less of you ( at least in my case <w> Nobody ever said anything positive about my looks ever, not even my family )

I want to share more moments of joy with my friends, want to meet more awesome people, want to have fun and finally be happy to be alive!

That's why I want to return to Eurofurence this year and meet more friends.
AND BRING  Whitedragon along so he can get the same boost in morale out of it!

So I thank all of my friends that support me and are so patient with me...

so tl,dr:

Leaper fine now!
New years resolutions: - Lose weight, gain muscles, love friends, go to EF23, DROWN EVERYONE IN MY LOVE, get fursuit!

Love you all, finally unloaded a huge rock from my soul... please forgive me for walls of text!