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9 years ago
Thank you to those who offered to commission me, or sent kind words and messages.
Unfortunately I think I was overly optimistic in offering work at this point. When I sat down to face my sketchbook, I panicked... Big time. I had hoped my art was not something that would be affected by all this, but it seems it has been.
So alas, I will have to cancel the pending commissions. I'm sorry everyone.
Thank you again to everyone who shared, messaged me, commented, and offered work. It means the world to me <3
I'm not sure what I'll do yet for finances, but we'll see.
On the other hand, my appointment has been scheduled for next Monday. So yay?
Unfortunately I think I was overly optimistic in offering work at this point. When I sat down to face my sketchbook, I panicked... Big time. I had hoped my art was not something that would be affected by all this, but it seems it has been.
So alas, I will have to cancel the pending commissions. I'm sorry everyone.
Thank you again to everyone who shared, messaged me, commented, and offered work. It means the world to me <3
I'm not sure what I'll do yet for finances, but we'll see.
On the other hand, my appointment has been scheduled for next Monday. So yay?
Still going to donate.
Is your Patreon still open?
So, i can certainly understand what you experienced, and you have all my condolences.
All i can offer is, if you do want to draw, i suggest just doing it for yourself.
Sketch, even if it's just absently drawing spirals on a page and then sketching over whatever shapes you see in the mess (i find doing that quite fun, myself, and a nice little stress relief, cos you're not really focusing on anything, you're just sorta letting stuff happen on it's own).
Above all, don't feel obligated. That's the fastest way to feed anxiety and put more negative feels on the idea of drawing, and I'd hate to see that happen to you )=
Take care Tassy, my friend, and good luck with everything. All the healing energy. I believe in you~ ^-^
The weird part, is it's not just the commissions. It's drawing in general, even if it's just for me. I recently realized that I hadn't drawn anything since before all this started. It wasn't even intentional, it's just been like I've subtly tried to avoid it. Then when I offered the commissions, it made me actually sit down with my sketch book, and I couldn't do it. When I sit down with it, even to sketch for me, I get the sense of dread. Not about the picture, but actually the act of drawing. It's like some wires have gotten crossed in my brain.
Thank you for the well wishes, with luck it'll be straightened out soon, and I'll feel more like me.
I sure hope you can get your chemical balance back, my friend. I really do.
*tightest of hugs*
Top bad that you felt stressed about this, but it is your decision in the end.
Wow, that stupid IUD really f'd up your life, didn't it! I hope you can have it out soon. *hugs*
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/8015653/
The easiest way I can describe it, is like it has been the opposite of anti-depressants for me. I tried taking those years ago, and hated it. Sure I felt numb, but I felt like it wasn't me in control, the numbness wasn't my own. I felt out of touch with reality. This has basically felt like the exact opposite. Like I have been overwhelmed with anxiety and emotional disturbances that are not my own. Like there's a small sane part of me inside, watching the train wreck as the rest of me falls apart in many ways.
It has been a surreal and enlightening (in less than desirable ways) experience.
Thank you again for your help and kind wishes. Even though we don't talk much, you've always been a treasured friend
One day I'll have to come to BC. Among the usual touristy things, we will have to sit down over a pot of tea, maybe some scones and jam and just talk. After a big hug, of course.