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Melancholia and sublimation
9 years ago
Greetings, folks. Over the last two months there was a lot of good and bad things happening to me, and I've finnaly decided to write this journal to explain myself in some way. I clearly can't be as kind and cheerful as I was before, so I better write my thoughts here to awoid misunderstandings and such.
I've been struggling and trying to fight back my depression a lot. There been some dark times, really dark ones, but I'm okay now. I think. Indeed there is a lot of things that makes me upset, but I'm a stuborn idiot in the end. The process I'm going trought is hard to describe. The closest thing I could think of is a wierd mix of sublimation, disappointment and lack of faith in myself. I woun't go too deep here and I don't ask for any help, just... I'll be clear with you folks. I try to do my best to support people I care about, and don't be a dead weight on anyone's shoulders, but its a fact that my condition got worse. Its hard to stay in a good mood, my depression and anxiety is always around... I've asking a lot of questions to myself and thinking too much, too deep.
...
I really wished to stay cheerful and be able to speak with my friends, but its really hard. So, if we've talked and spent time together in past, please, don't think that I didn't want to speak with you anymore... I just don't want to share my anxiety and bad feelings. In the end, I still glad to offer my shoulder for those of you who in need of help.
Thats kinda it. As for the art, I still try to spend most of my free time on drawing. I've severly reduced the amount of gifts and closed my requests just because I don't really have much energy to share. Maybe its all just a one big burnout, I can't tell.
So, yeah, I'll mostly focus on drawing my own ideas for now. I know, a lot of peps wish that I would countinue drawing gifts with mild fetishes, but I don't feeling up to both of those lately... Meh.
Anyway... I've had to write it down sooner or later. Well, its feels a bit easier... and I hope it makes things a bit more clear. Thank you for your attention.
I've been struggling and trying to fight back my depression a lot. There been some dark times, really dark ones, but I'm okay now. I think. Indeed there is a lot of things that makes me upset, but I'm a stuborn idiot in the end. The process I'm going trought is hard to describe. The closest thing I could think of is a wierd mix of sublimation, disappointment and lack of faith in myself. I woun't go too deep here and I don't ask for any help, just... I'll be clear with you folks. I try to do my best to support people I care about, and don't be a dead weight on anyone's shoulders, but its a fact that my condition got worse. Its hard to stay in a good mood, my depression and anxiety is always around... I've asking a lot of questions to myself and thinking too much, too deep.
...
I really wished to stay cheerful and be able to speak with my friends, but its really hard. So, if we've talked and spent time together in past, please, don't think that I didn't want to speak with you anymore... I just don't want to share my anxiety and bad feelings. In the end, I still glad to offer my shoulder for those of you who in need of help.
Thats kinda it. As for the art, I still try to spend most of my free time on drawing. I've severly reduced the amount of gifts and closed my requests just because I don't really have much energy to share. Maybe its all just a one big burnout, I can't tell.
So, yeah, I'll mostly focus on drawing my own ideas for now. I know, a lot of peps wish that I would countinue drawing gifts with mild fetishes, but I don't feeling up to both of those lately... Meh.
Anyway... I've had to write it down sooner or later. Well, its feels a bit easier... and I hope it makes things a bit more clear. Thank you for your attention.
Dialuca01
~dialuca01
You know we'll be here for you as always bro. We care about you and love you and you're just wonderful, and all we really want is to see you happy. But you know you dont have to go through anything alone.
Take care of yourself dude. That's all we can ask for. <3
