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-w- Mmmf, putting feelings down, ignore if ya like
9 years ago
I keep having worries about drawing some of the things I want, specifically vore-related. I dunno, it just seems to me like some things get misconstrued too often for my comfort.
I get antsy posting similar-size vore (despite how much I like it for its comic appearance and inclusion of comfy snugglin' bellies). It seems people associate it more with fatal, due to the close quarters or something. I don't really know.
I am scared to include too much fluid inside my stomach internals, even though I do like stomach acid of a realistic strength (which is comparable to citrus juice, actually, and by itself would probably be good on the skin) and want to include them in some pieces... well, you know. You put acid in a stomach, people are going to jump immediately to the death outcome, even if you explain it's just natural acidity and nothing else. I guess I should expect that one--since I doubt the majority of people with the exception of maybe some biology majors who got a job relating to gastrointestinal medicine know how strong gastric acid actually is, or even have heard of pepsin. I recently wanted to make an illustration of one of my prey character soaking in some harmless, weak acids and using it to disinfect and soothe some minor wounds. But I hesitated and put off even starting it because I know how it would go. There'd be the people who don't read, of course. They're easy to spot and only annoy me somewhat when they blurt something that is contrary to even the title. I can handle that (since it's unavoidable). But this... it's something that I know would be easy for even people who pay attention to misconstrue.
I'm afraid to post much stuffing and belly appreciation. I've all but stopped making stuff of my naga characters feeding normally--due to the fact they eat their meat whole (but it's meat... not a live animal... there is a massive difference) I can just see people showing up and taking it as fatal vore, even though it is not. Same with stuffing. If I drew myself bloated with barbeque and taters and ice cream and other good stuff, I just know someone unfamiliar with my stuffing art but familiar that I draw vore (an easy thing to know) might jump to conclusions and think I'm drawing digestion stuff. I will not. I will never--it's not something that sits right with me. I know, it's not real, but it's real in the context of characters and honestly I don't want to torture any of my characters to death for the sake of a fetish I don't have, and I can honestly say in the context of the fictional world NONE of my characters are immoral enough to kill so inhumanely. Oh yes, many of them are carnivores that hunt for a living, but they are quick, precise, and most of all empathetic to the creatures in their biome they depend on. With that knowledge, I shouldn't have to be afraid that an image of Gaji happily sucking down a whole (dead) catfish will be conflated with something that I and the character himself would find horrific and cruel.
My comfort with unwilling vore decreases by degrees. I would consider even non-fatal vore that is done to a character so unwilling and afraid it brings them to tears to be not safe vore. Crying prey makes me immediately uncomfortable, as does crying pred. If the event of being eaten alive freaks the characters out that much, then it's probably doing damage, at least psychologically. I might feel it necessary to come very close to this in the context of a story or narrative, but when I draw little scenarios for pure enjoyment... no. I can't stomach mental suffering (ha), considering I'm all too familiar with anxiety attacks in my real life. I empathize too much with the prey to possibly enjoy that.
And when it comes to unwilling, I will not do sexual themes with it. Adding in sexuality makes any depiction of genuine unwillingness to be non-consent. Also known as rape, which is something I'm entirely not about. Now, pseudo-unwilling is another game. It's the teasing and chasing, where a prey or pred resists but is actually in on it. That, in sexual or clean vore, is something I like. But there's a vast difference. It's the thick chalk line between a BDSM scene performed by informed and consenting individuals simply experimenting with power and struggle, and a depiction of a sordid, disgusting criminal offense. I want nothing to do with the latter. I'm uncertain how readily people would conflate any of the playful erotic chase and struggle stuff I might make with legitimate rape themes... well, there's probably always going to be the non-reading groups that will, but... I dunno. Western culture tends to group rape and sexual assault things in with sexuality, and not with violence like it belongs, so given the amount of free reign "blood" has versus "boobs" in media I wouldn't think it as common a jump to make. But FA is very sexually free, which I fear might have the unwelcome side effect of people more openly misconstruing playful "unwilling" struggle stuff as actual rape and assault scenes. T_T I don't want that, about as much as I don't want my work confused with snuff. Or torture.
Also... I've had the most problems with this on Eka's Portal, and not any at all here, but I may as well vent it out anyhow. I'm leery of making clean vore with child characters involved anymore. You can probably guess why--there have been so many people lecherously (and creepily) making it out to be sexual vore. Yeah, you can probably guess why this has disturbed me. And it rounds out the Four Nope Fetishes for me. I really, REALLY get uncomfortable with my young characters being sexualized, so much so that I've restrained myself from making cute nommish things many times already, knowing that some pedo is going to ignore the fact that it's meant to be clean and comedic and post some drool-soaked comment about how there need to be more "cute little girl preds" and that they'd "love to see more kink stuff with her". :| Yeah, I find it a very positive sign for FA's userbase that no one has crossed that line on this site yet, but Eka's is... ugh. As many nice people are there, and as nice as it is to have a basic forum to go to where no one looks at you funny for having a gallery full of soft vore, it is true the site has a higher creep concentration (and they absolutely allow things that, in the U.S., are SUPER illegal to have... child porn... ;-;). So yes, you guys, there are some things posted here and on my DA and Weasyl that I just... don't post on Eka's due to them involving children. Even though it's clean, and I'll openly say it's clean in the description, tags, title... Still happens.
So yeah... these are things I had to put somewhere. I just had to say it openly to have it out there, and to address my feelings on the matter. Just never addressing it and never forming these discomforts into words was just horrible to my psyche. Hopefully I might get a little more courage to try the things I've been stinting due to these fears after this. Who knows. I doubt the people responsible for these things would ever find this wall o' text, but... I guess now, if someone jumps to a conclusion without reading the basic info, or conflates something I've made with something completely different, it'll sort of be on them now, and not killing me with shame and fear. I'm always fighting these emotions in my life anyways. A little less of them would be nice and balancing.
Well, for most of the people coming across this journal it doesn't really apply... feel free to ignore if you don't feel like reading my huge word-chunks. ;w;
I get antsy posting similar-size vore (despite how much I like it for its comic appearance and inclusion of comfy snugglin' bellies). It seems people associate it more with fatal, due to the close quarters or something. I don't really know.
I am scared to include too much fluid inside my stomach internals, even though I do like stomach acid of a realistic strength (which is comparable to citrus juice, actually, and by itself would probably be good on the skin) and want to include them in some pieces... well, you know. You put acid in a stomach, people are going to jump immediately to the death outcome, even if you explain it's just natural acidity and nothing else. I guess I should expect that one--since I doubt the majority of people with the exception of maybe some biology majors who got a job relating to gastrointestinal medicine know how strong gastric acid actually is, or even have heard of pepsin. I recently wanted to make an illustration of one of my prey character soaking in some harmless, weak acids and using it to disinfect and soothe some minor wounds. But I hesitated and put off even starting it because I know how it would go. There'd be the people who don't read, of course. They're easy to spot and only annoy me somewhat when they blurt something that is contrary to even the title. I can handle that (since it's unavoidable). But this... it's something that I know would be easy for even people who pay attention to misconstrue.
I'm afraid to post much stuffing and belly appreciation. I've all but stopped making stuff of my naga characters feeding normally--due to the fact they eat their meat whole (but it's meat... not a live animal... there is a massive difference) I can just see people showing up and taking it as fatal vore, even though it is not. Same with stuffing. If I drew myself bloated with barbeque and taters and ice cream and other good stuff, I just know someone unfamiliar with my stuffing art but familiar that I draw vore (an easy thing to know) might jump to conclusions and think I'm drawing digestion stuff. I will not. I will never--it's not something that sits right with me. I know, it's not real, but it's real in the context of characters and honestly I don't want to torture any of my characters to death for the sake of a fetish I don't have, and I can honestly say in the context of the fictional world NONE of my characters are immoral enough to kill so inhumanely. Oh yes, many of them are carnivores that hunt for a living, but they are quick, precise, and most of all empathetic to the creatures in their biome they depend on. With that knowledge, I shouldn't have to be afraid that an image of Gaji happily sucking down a whole (dead) catfish will be conflated with something that I and the character himself would find horrific and cruel.
My comfort with unwilling vore decreases by degrees. I would consider even non-fatal vore that is done to a character so unwilling and afraid it brings them to tears to be not safe vore. Crying prey makes me immediately uncomfortable, as does crying pred. If the event of being eaten alive freaks the characters out that much, then it's probably doing damage, at least psychologically. I might feel it necessary to come very close to this in the context of a story or narrative, but when I draw little scenarios for pure enjoyment... no. I can't stomach mental suffering (ha), considering I'm all too familiar with anxiety attacks in my real life. I empathize too much with the prey to possibly enjoy that.
And when it comes to unwilling, I will not do sexual themes with it. Adding in sexuality makes any depiction of genuine unwillingness to be non-consent. Also known as rape, which is something I'm entirely not about. Now, pseudo-unwilling is another game. It's the teasing and chasing, where a prey or pred resists but is actually in on it. That, in sexual or clean vore, is something I like. But there's a vast difference. It's the thick chalk line between a BDSM scene performed by informed and consenting individuals simply experimenting with power and struggle, and a depiction of a sordid, disgusting criminal offense. I want nothing to do with the latter. I'm uncertain how readily people would conflate any of the playful erotic chase and struggle stuff I might make with legitimate rape themes... well, there's probably always going to be the non-reading groups that will, but... I dunno. Western culture tends to group rape and sexual assault things in with sexuality, and not with violence like it belongs, so given the amount of free reign "blood" has versus "boobs" in media I wouldn't think it as common a jump to make. But FA is very sexually free, which I fear might have the unwelcome side effect of people more openly misconstruing playful "unwilling" struggle stuff as actual rape and assault scenes. T_T I don't want that, about as much as I don't want my work confused with snuff. Or torture.
Also... I've had the most problems with this on Eka's Portal, and not any at all here, but I may as well vent it out anyhow. I'm leery of making clean vore with child characters involved anymore. You can probably guess why--there have been so many people lecherously (and creepily) making it out to be sexual vore. Yeah, you can probably guess why this has disturbed me. And it rounds out the Four Nope Fetishes for me. I really, REALLY get uncomfortable with my young characters being sexualized, so much so that I've restrained myself from making cute nommish things many times already, knowing that some pedo is going to ignore the fact that it's meant to be clean and comedic and post some drool-soaked comment about how there need to be more "cute little girl preds" and that they'd "love to see more kink stuff with her". :| Yeah, I find it a very positive sign for FA's userbase that no one has crossed that line on this site yet, but Eka's is... ugh. As many nice people are there, and as nice as it is to have a basic forum to go to where no one looks at you funny for having a gallery full of soft vore, it is true the site has a higher creep concentration (and they absolutely allow things that, in the U.S., are SUPER illegal to have... child porn... ;-;). So yes, you guys, there are some things posted here and on my DA and Weasyl that I just... don't post on Eka's due to them involving children. Even though it's clean, and I'll openly say it's clean in the description, tags, title... Still happens.
So yeah... these are things I had to put somewhere. I just had to say it openly to have it out there, and to address my feelings on the matter. Just never addressing it and never forming these discomforts into words was just horrible to my psyche. Hopefully I might get a little more courage to try the things I've been stinting due to these fears after this. Who knows. I doubt the people responsible for these things would ever find this wall o' text, but... I guess now, if someone jumps to a conclusion without reading the basic info, or conflates something I've made with something completely different, it'll sort of be on them now, and not killing me with shame and fear. I'm always fighting these emotions in my life anyways. A little less of them would be nice and balancing.
Well, for most of the people coming across this journal it doesn't really apply... feel free to ignore if you don't feel like reading my huge word-chunks. ;w;
There's a lot of folks here on FA who are into slimy fluid-filled bellies that aren't doing any major harm, so I don't think it'd look that out of place here :o
Lot of text, I read through it all but I can't respond to it all either ^^; I share a lot of your sentiments on these matters though, especially with the feeling uncomfortable about how others might choose to interpret something. Heck I've had a few people go out of their way to just disregard what I said, and then when I correct them they simply say "I dont care" more or less. The Block feature works perfectly, by the way. Wonderful little tool. ;P
'
Anyways, it's good that you typed all this out. Best that people express what's troubling them than just letting it simmer and all that D:
I can't control thoughts, but... it feels skeevy when people just go ahead and try to re-arrange a narrative I've created for my purposes and for like-minded people when there are so many other artist who are open to such things. If people chose to see my art in a fatal way, against everything I've worked to express, even in their own thoughts... welp, it just means they're seeing it wrong and throwing out huge pieces of the story behind that image that I felt were important. It's simply not there, it's just... creepy wishful thinking that will never be fulfilled, because it's not something the artist is comfortable with. It feels kinda disrespectful to me. [[In fact, it feels a LOT like something I've seen fatal vore artists complain about--they'll make something that was meant to be fatal, and important for whatever story they're making that it is what it is, and someone who doesn't like fatal shows up and says "In my head, she barfs him up later. c:"... even though that's absolutely not what the artist wanted. It feels disrespectful either way. ]]
;w; If I used the block tool every few times it happened, I'd have blocked well over thirty people by now. So far I've only blocked one, a troll.
>< Yeah... I had to say it.
And I might go ahead with the harmless acid one... maybe as a trial run. c:
Go in and get all squeaky clean~!
I mean, the natural acidity is really only there to get rid of dangerous microbes. XD It just clicks for me that mild stomach acids would be sort of a therapeutic, healing thing.
though I understand your concerns about the misconceptions of what you draw and that there will always be people out there that choose neither to read nor look into the kind of things you enjoy.
all I can say, if it means something to you, is that you do these things you do for you. that no one actually can force your hands against your desires, and as such no one can change what you've drawn to mean anything other than what you have made it for. so those whom choose to willingly remain ignorant of, or choose to press against buttons because of various reasons; all have the same ability to choose to leave as they also chose to come.
after all, words only have as much power over you as you allow them to have.
But confronting the issue I think helps get me to acknowledge that it'll happen, but that it's definitely something that isn't going to change the art. >u<; I'm aware my worries are often irrational, but enh... they happen. It's true though, the words only have as much power as I allow, so I guess I'm trying to help myself regain confidence in my stuff, and not let the words affect me so much.
-u- Thankee.
And well, this journal was an attempt to get those bad feelings out... if I bottled stuff up, I'd never write out stuff like this. ^^;
However it's all about sharing those feelings in an appropriate place, which is where some people fail.
I like safe and fatal vore. Also, vore in and of itself, regardless of sexual content, I can find arousing depending on the situation. For instance, your works are mainly immensely cute and endearing to me, other artists works mainly arousing, and some a mix between the two. So knowing this, when I am browsing that any site for vore related works I make certain to parse the tags of works I am curious to view or read for any mention of underage or children containing content. I have had a few scary situations of my own where I unknowingly see or read into basically child porn and terrify myself because some people do not know how to tag their works properly.
I steer away from ANYTHING that has both vore and children in it, and your works are not excluded. Please to not fret about the latter. I know your works are not intended to be sexual, but I do not know if my mind will not cross the wires so to speak based on my broad interpretations of vore and I am absolutely terrified of that. While your works are titled and tagged well and contains informative descriptions, many other artists on that site have apparently missed the memo.
While I do like that site, browsing through its gallery can make me more anxious than normal.
[Which is a lot considering his already present anxiety problems.]
Now it is time for me to apologize for a word-chunk of my own.