FA+
Shop
adult says that they don't know what they want. they (rated)
8 years ago
some say I am crazy, and I'd say that they're at least half right.
I say that when an adult says that they don't know what they want. they are lying to themself and to others, they only know that they can't have it, for one reason or another.
I want to hurt myself, I want to break things, just to see a change... and yet I know that such thoughts are useless and not sane.
Want me to punch you in the head, hit ya where you stabbed yourself the other day? or maybe in the ass, I could aim for the back of your belly button? try to get up to my shoulder a few times, that might help! if only that would help, but no, not even sex, nor pain, nor drink, right now seems to help ease this feeling of just wanting a release from it all.
where was I going with this?
on the 22nd I have another court date coming up, and I am actually dreading this one.
I just want this bs to finally end, to simply be done... though I know that I have to go through it, I can't escape it.
it's not for me that I have to go through this mess, if it was just me, I'd simply walk away from it all. hell I wouldn't care at all what was said or done against me by my ex-wife. but it is for my sons, and I know that they can't hope to sort any of this bs out on their own, so I have to go through it.
smoking surely isn't helping that much as it once was, it has become a temptation to put the butts out on my arms... I don't really want to try it, but I still have that thought more often than I want to admit.
I want a good distraction, I want ... I want, I hate that I want, I hate me for having been half of the cause of this mess.
I don't want to hurt anyone else, I don't want to be a burden on anyone else, I have hurt enough people, I am enough of a burden on my family.
I hate being trapped here, I hate my fucking ex for picking to have us all trapped here, fucking selfish bitch!
I still await the day that she has to sit in a courtroom and finally hear just how she has: failed our sons, failed as a mother, failed as a fucking human being!
and this hearing on the 22nd won't even be that day! no it's just one more hearing about shit that she keeps throwing in between then, before we can even get into family court for that!
I am going to get some snack foods that I have been craving. forgive me all for my rants, forgive me Reyasa, for dumping this junk here and not being able to even say it over text or voice, though I just need it out of my head.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iE_54CU7Fxk ~ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ijUn5hi8kc ~
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AibtyCAhyQE
I want to hurt myself, I want to break things, just to see a change... and yet I know that such thoughts are useless and not sane.
Want me to punch you in the head, hit ya where you stabbed yourself the other day? or maybe in the ass, I could aim for the back of your belly button? try to get up to my shoulder a few times, that might help! if only that would help, but no, not even sex, nor pain, nor drink, right now seems to help ease this feeling of just wanting a release from it all.
where was I going with this?
on the 22nd I have another court date coming up, and I am actually dreading this one.
I just want this bs to finally end, to simply be done... though I know that I have to go through it, I can't escape it.
it's not for me that I have to go through this mess, if it was just me, I'd simply walk away from it all. hell I wouldn't care at all what was said or done against me by my ex-wife. but it is for my sons, and I know that they can't hope to sort any of this bs out on their own, so I have to go through it.
smoking surely isn't helping that much as it once was, it has become a temptation to put the butts out on my arms... I don't really want to try it, but I still have that thought more often than I want to admit.
I want a good distraction, I want ... I want, I hate that I want, I hate me for having been half of the cause of this mess.
I don't want to hurt anyone else, I don't want to be a burden on anyone else, I have hurt enough people, I am enough of a burden on my family.
I hate being trapped here, I hate my fucking ex for picking to have us all trapped here, fucking selfish bitch!
I still await the day that she has to sit in a courtroom and finally hear just how she has: failed our sons, failed as a mother, failed as a fucking human being!
and this hearing on the 22nd won't even be that day! no it's just one more hearing about shit that she keeps throwing in between then, before we can even get into family court for that!
I am going to get some snack foods that I have been craving. forgive me all for my rants, forgive me Reyasa, for dumping this junk here and not being able to even say it over text or voice, though I just need it out of my head.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iE_54CU7Fxk ~ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ijUn5hi8kc ~
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AibtyCAhyQE
Comment posting has been disabled by the journal owner.
