So I got to spend a whole week with my boyfriend, from 02/12-02/19. He left yesterday.

I was fine until it was time to go to bed the night before. I cried into his chest, and didn't say anything. We didn't need to say what we knew already.

I was fine until we got to the airport. I was actually fine inside the airport, until the security line was in my eyesight. Then I lost it. No. I can't lose him again. I need more time. It's not fair. I love him. He's mine.

I realized about 3 seconds after he passed the threshold that in my state of panic and grief I forgot to say "I love you too"

I frantically texted it to him. I felt so awful.

I didn't stop crying the whole way home. The hour and a half it took to drive home, I cried. I kept the radio off. I played with the idea of running off the road. What if I never get to see him again? What if I lose him? What if that was it?

But then I remembered I have nothing to worry about.
It's like he said, it's not goodbye. It's see you later.

I will see him later. In 95 days, if anyone is counting...

Next time might be the last time we have to separate. I don't know. I hope so.

I'm so ready to be with him forever, I'm so, so ready to say "goodnight" instead of "goodbye"

Sleeping alone, without my personal "white noise machine," (he snores) feels so different. Driving to and from work alone, in the quiet, feels so different. Showering alone, without his arms around my shoulders and without his warmth, feels so different.

Not constantly laughing feels so different.

My everyday life is so quiet without him, and I hate it.

He constantly pushed my buttons, and sometimes I'd yell at him. But I miss having him here.

He's mine.

All mine.

I love him so much.