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Life, part 2
16 years ago
General
Well, things were getting better, just gotten out of depression, and then, shit happens.
I'm writing this, on the bus, trying to stop tears flowing. I'll start from the start, so most people can understand.
About 6 weeks ago, i fell in love with a guy in america. He was everything to me, what i wanted, what i needed. Unfortunately, he had a mate, and still does. That didn't stop him from loving me, and thus, making me happy. He was there every step, at every breakdown, he even got me out of depression. The love grew to heights, where i didn't even know how much i loved him.
Then something happened, that i could see coming, but i shunned it, not wanting for it to be thought of. He left me. Over what i thought was trivial. I tried to help him, but it backfired, which led to a chain of events where him and his mate, were banned from a chat room he loved very much. The words we said, to each other, i couldn't believe. The, aggressiveness of the words, coming out of both my mouth, and his, just, geez, can't believe i said, and heard things like that. So, i've lost another person, another that i cared deeply for.
Out of the 5 that keep me going, 3 are left. I don't know what's real, right now. The love i had, i'm afraid. How easy it is to lose it. Everyone tries to reassure me, that, it won't happen with them, but, that's what the guy i fell in love with said. I'm afraid, of losing more people, and theres nothing, anyone, can do. I tend to hurt people, who i'm with. I've done it with every single relationship that's ended. And it will happen, sadly. I'm at a loss, not knowing what to do, where to go. Only time will tell, what will happen to me. Right now, i've sunken back down, into the depths of depression and life. And the person who brought me out of it, i lost...like i am.
I'm writing this, on the bus, trying to stop tears flowing. I'll start from the start, so most people can understand.
About 6 weeks ago, i fell in love with a guy in america. He was everything to me, what i wanted, what i needed. Unfortunately, he had a mate, and still does. That didn't stop him from loving me, and thus, making me happy. He was there every step, at every breakdown, he even got me out of depression. The love grew to heights, where i didn't even know how much i loved him.
Then something happened, that i could see coming, but i shunned it, not wanting for it to be thought of. He left me. Over what i thought was trivial. I tried to help him, but it backfired, which led to a chain of events where him and his mate, were banned from a chat room he loved very much. The words we said, to each other, i couldn't believe. The, aggressiveness of the words, coming out of both my mouth, and his, just, geez, can't believe i said, and heard things like that. So, i've lost another person, another that i cared deeply for.
Out of the 5 that keep me going, 3 are left. I don't know what's real, right now. The love i had, i'm afraid. How easy it is to lose it. Everyone tries to reassure me, that, it won't happen with them, but, that's what the guy i fell in love with said. I'm afraid, of losing more people, and theres nothing, anyone, can do. I tend to hurt people, who i'm with. I've done it with every single relationship that's ended. And it will happen, sadly. I'm at a loss, not knowing what to do, where to go. Only time will tell, what will happen to me. Right now, i've sunken back down, into the depths of depression and life. And the person who brought me out of it, i lost...like i am.
You're still my friend, of sorts(Although I damn wish you'd stop asking me to hurt you over MSN.) but you've pretty much screwed up your own friendship with Akida over the entire NF Issue, as we said, it was over and done with.
I'm trying to be nice and sincere here, but there are so many things I could be saying right now, for screwing up my reputation with one of the most highly acclaimed and civilised Furry Groups of Steam. (Although Kara's being unreasonable on my side of the Ban, and has developed a sense of Nihilism.)
And no, I'm not going to hurt you, and doubt I ever will. I only appear Heartless to some to knock their own sense back into place, not the bastardise my reputation.
CARE FOR YOUR MATE! TALK TO HIM, LOVE HIM, STOP THINKING ABOUT YOURSELF!
I wasn't involved in it, and was actually fuming abit myself, just log in one day after being taken off hours before it occurred(fucking WoWfaggotry of a father, excuse the blaming) and find myself banned from NF for something I wasn't even informed on.
...It's ironic actually, as I got my Information from the same person I just realised was calling Akida openly, a slut. (When I wasn't around. -..-;)
Sorry for one big misinformed screwup. I'll learn to keep my tongue in check in future.
Stop.
Simple as that. Back off. You have me. Now stop randomly falling in love with other people, especially when you're mated. Sure, as I said before, if you want to snuggle or yiff or be good friends with anyone you with then so bwe it.
but the Love is mine, Pup. Don't screw it up.
...And if your up for abit of suspense-breaking humor, you're still cute. :3
Please.
It should be over with by now, this all started 3 days ago... come on.
Kara decided I'm gone from the group, so there's nothing else I can do.
Maybe for the better, maybe for the worst. Whatever.
I'll get over it.