It was when I had lost another loved one recently that I happened to stumble upon you. Sulking deep in the corner of that cage with another whose legs were paralyzed.

When I reached out to pet her, you growled at me and got between her and me. You were protecting her from those who you felt would hurt her.

Bit by bit I got to know you better, you and I were more alike than I had thought.

Both outcasts, both traumatized, both feared. I bonded with you over the days as I still continued to search for the one who I lost.

It soon came to pass that we became bound like brothers, and I was able to take you back home, hoping to heal your wounds, and to give you back a family.

I still remember your eyes shining with joy, looking out the taxi window as you waved goodbye to the pound you once held as home.

At home, you met your best friend Yuki, who you played and enjoyed accompanying. Although you were afraid of the other humans that lived with us, you were slowly adapting, poking your cute nose at them as curious as you were.

You always protected me, even to the silly points that you would block the door of where I am and bark at anyone who dared try to get near.

You were my knight in ebon fur, protecting me and keeping me safe all the time, and I loved you so much for it.

When Yuki passed away and you ran to his spot, I could only feel heartbreak as you whimpered and layed down there waiting for him.

Only for me to panic as you were then inflicted with a terrible disease days later.

I scrunched up every money I could find, and did everything I could to help you recover.

They told me it was hopeless and that you would be gone, but I didn't want that, I didn't want that at all.

Nothing mattered, costs, time, anything. I just wanted you to be okay again. So I fought alongside you, hoping you would return home safe and sound.

When you returned home and regained your energy, I was so happy and thrilled. I couldn't help but give you a tight hug and you responded your usual way of pressing your nose against my cheek.

Days, weeks and months had passed since then, and I continued to enjoy life with you, despite all the hardships that we had to endure.

I had just gotten my new job and I was so thrilled to tell you the good news...

But when I returned home and I was told that you were missing, my heart stopped. I looked for you all night until you came back.

You felt so lost, You felt so scared I bet. Of the dogs and the people that hurt you as you were trying to find your way back in.

When I took you back home, I was happy as you sat down on your usual spot. But that happiness was short lived, for the first time in your playarounds with Bill, you drew blood.

I was horrified, but I still believed in you either way. I couldn't help but wonder what had happened. It continued on for another day, you had become more aggressive, and I was beginning to get scared.

On our last night together, as I sat down at the back door with you and just held you in my arms, you continued to keep close to me and keep me company. When I cried, you drew your face near to me and gave my cheek a lick. You looked at me with those concerned eyes of yours. You didn't want me sad again did you?

I was scared, but I had you, that felt enough for me. But still, something was wrong. You were scared of everyone else besides me, and you would jump aggressively at them should you feel that they were threatening you or me. You weren't your quiet calm self anymore. Something was wrong.

Like a parallel to how we met, we had our last night together with you in my arms, and I gave you a nice bath and we ate together.

I can't tell you how horrible I feel of what you had to go through when we arrived at the vet. I was so scared that I couldn't help but hold on to you. But in the end, you just wanted to protect me and yourself didn't you?

You didn't want anyone to hurt us, even if it meant that you'd have to be a monster. I know that feeling... I know that feeling so much...

Even now, it still hurts, knowing you're no longer here.

When I visited you yesterday, you were still very energetic and you still recognized me, and you expressed your desire to come home with me so badly... But I told you and myself, that we had to be strong, that we had to be patient. That you and I would live through this. I put all my hopes on that.

But when I woke up a few hours ago to the message that they asked me to retrieve the other half of your body. I couldn't help but feel the deepest darkest despair.
You were gone.

So even up to now, I'm still here crying, apologizing to you wherever you are now.

I'm sorry Lucky... I'm sorry that I failed you...
I'm sorry that I couldn't be there with you during the time that you needed me most...
I'm sorry that your sendoff had to be one filled with fear...
I'm sorry Lucky...
I can't ever forgive myself...

But please remember Lucky... to me you were the most loyal and wonderful dog a person could ever had. You deserved to live a happier and more joyful life. You deserved to fall to rest with the people you love.

Rest now my dark knight
Rest now my brother
Rest now Lucky

I love you