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From Nothing To Something
9 years ago
General
Even I'm blown away by the impacts I have made in this life alone
Growing up was difficult for me in the sense that my mother sought to find a cure for whatever learning disability I had. If only she had thought about Kleinfelters Syndrome and to get a specific DNA test, but such info wasnt rapidly available at that time. During my childhood I spent most of my educating years in private schools, home school, and special education. I went to shrinks and special doctors, from medications to therapy. All of this to make sure I had a chance in school and life. I for the most part don't like talking about it and unless I feel it to be needed, I may open up a little. I Look back now and I feel frustrated because I now hold the answer at age 30 as to why I was different then. There's nothing i can do now to change the past, so now I walk this road with my husband trying to be optimistic of the future. I was told I wouldn't graduate high school or that I wouldn't have a bright future because of my learning problems. I didnt think anything of it then, but now i see the mental damage that was done and I choose not bring it up or just forget about it. But if that wasn't difficult enough already, making friends or even having friends was pure luck. Just imagine being the outcast or the akward one (not by choice) and not having friends.......But that was a long time ago and I have changed into a more happy me and somewhat a successful me.
In my lifetime I have seen my fair share of tragic and sad events. My parents divorced when I was in 4th or 5th grade and It was a messy event. See my father is a dentist and like the stereotypical man he was, he would often have sex with his dental assistants or patients. So he basically cheated on my mom and his family and while I wish that was the end of it, sadly this is where I'm somewhat mentally scarred. My father would take me to his mystery women's homes and I would play downstairs while he was upstairs. I learned later about the real reason he went and visited his "patients" or "lady friends". I don't know why I didnt say anything to my mom or if i even comprehended what was going on. Maybe he said something to me that struck me with fear and from then on out i chose to forget it and even now I don't know. Other dramas in my life was witnessing a mans suicide in the pool, seeing my brother do a dirt bike trick into a pond that knocked him unconscious and almost seeing him die, and lastly of course my mom getting diagnosed with a cancer so mysterious that modern medicine couldn't cure it. Iv seen death in many different cases that i wish i havn't.
Fast forward to 2017 and I look at myself much differently. I see a man who has been successful, works hard for his rewards, uses his mistakes to become a better person, and has friends that love him. I'm shocked honestly to see where I am today because despite all the bad in my life, I have managed to be positive and not be that kid years and years ago.
When I had found the fandom (story for a future post), I found people just like me. I couldn't believe it, I started making friends. It felt like i entered a world of possibility and optimism. There were other people like me who also had hard times and still managed to be happy. From that day forward I kinda evolved into this person from inside of me that I didnt know existed. The furry fandom granted me a 2nd chance of life. I created a podcast that at the time was geared up to help people like me who just became a furry to navigate the fandom. I called it FurMedia. Since the creation of FurMedia, I didnt know I was making an impact on other people. I started to realize I was becoming a lighthouse for those to seek safety and comfort. As FurMedia grew bigger, I myself became more mature and turned into this quirky, fun loving, and confident person.
To this day I thank the fandom as if it were a person because it gave me a new life and purpose. Now of course I'v done my best to stay out of the spotlight when I can. I like working behind the scenes and being a host of a really fun show, but that doesn't mean I want to be popular because of it. It never has been about the popularity, its been about the journey. Because of that, I can produce an organic show true to my heart. I can enjoy my friendships, my team, my job, and my husband. I can produce a show with the listeners in mind.
So there you have it, a small history of me and why I am the person I am today.
Sincerely,
SpaceBear Sparx
Growing up was difficult for me in the sense that my mother sought to find a cure for whatever learning disability I had. If only she had thought about Kleinfelters Syndrome and to get a specific DNA test, but such info wasnt rapidly available at that time. During my childhood I spent most of my educating years in private schools, home school, and special education. I went to shrinks and special doctors, from medications to therapy. All of this to make sure I had a chance in school and life. I for the most part don't like talking about it and unless I feel it to be needed, I may open up a little. I Look back now and I feel frustrated because I now hold the answer at age 30 as to why I was different then. There's nothing i can do now to change the past, so now I walk this road with my husband trying to be optimistic of the future. I was told I wouldn't graduate high school or that I wouldn't have a bright future because of my learning problems. I didnt think anything of it then, but now i see the mental damage that was done and I choose not bring it up or just forget about it. But if that wasn't difficult enough already, making friends or even having friends was pure luck. Just imagine being the outcast or the akward one (not by choice) and not having friends.......But that was a long time ago and I have changed into a more happy me and somewhat a successful me.
In my lifetime I have seen my fair share of tragic and sad events. My parents divorced when I was in 4th or 5th grade and It was a messy event. See my father is a dentist and like the stereotypical man he was, he would often have sex with his dental assistants or patients. So he basically cheated on my mom and his family and while I wish that was the end of it, sadly this is where I'm somewhat mentally scarred. My father would take me to his mystery women's homes and I would play downstairs while he was upstairs. I learned later about the real reason he went and visited his "patients" or "lady friends". I don't know why I didnt say anything to my mom or if i even comprehended what was going on. Maybe he said something to me that struck me with fear and from then on out i chose to forget it and even now I don't know. Other dramas in my life was witnessing a mans suicide in the pool, seeing my brother do a dirt bike trick into a pond that knocked him unconscious and almost seeing him die, and lastly of course my mom getting diagnosed with a cancer so mysterious that modern medicine couldn't cure it. Iv seen death in many different cases that i wish i havn't.
Fast forward to 2017 and I look at myself much differently. I see a man who has been successful, works hard for his rewards, uses his mistakes to become a better person, and has friends that love him. I'm shocked honestly to see where I am today because despite all the bad in my life, I have managed to be positive and not be that kid years and years ago.
When I had found the fandom (story for a future post), I found people just like me. I couldn't believe it, I started making friends. It felt like i entered a world of possibility and optimism. There were other people like me who also had hard times and still managed to be happy. From that day forward I kinda evolved into this person from inside of me that I didnt know existed. The furry fandom granted me a 2nd chance of life. I created a podcast that at the time was geared up to help people like me who just became a furry to navigate the fandom. I called it FurMedia. Since the creation of FurMedia, I didnt know I was making an impact on other people. I started to realize I was becoming a lighthouse for those to seek safety and comfort. As FurMedia grew bigger, I myself became more mature and turned into this quirky, fun loving, and confident person.
To this day I thank the fandom as if it were a person because it gave me a new life and purpose. Now of course I'v done my best to stay out of the spotlight when I can. I like working behind the scenes and being a host of a really fun show, but that doesn't mean I want to be popular because of it. It never has been about the popularity, its been about the journey. Because of that, I can produce an organic show true to my heart. I can enjoy my friendships, my team, my job, and my husband. I can produce a show with the listeners in mind.
So there you have it, a small history of me and why I am the person I am today.
Sincerely,
SpaceBear Sparx
were so proud of you and all you have accomplished!