GIMME DOUGH ON PATREON I4M ALL BOUT DAT BRED BOOOOI

Hm. Now. This is my break. Stream of consciousness incoming as my break will consist of me typing whatever I feel like on this keyboard. As you can see I started with asking money on Patreon, I figured it was a decent introduction. Obviously, it's not, and it doesn't fit anywhere, and no one will be able to understand why I thought it was worth typing, it's of no importance though. I first thought of typing something that had a point, yaknow, and I already anticipated in this text I was about to write that I would make some self-depreciative obnoxious patreon-begging joke for some reasons. No, it doesn't really legitimize it in any way, but who cares really.

So often you can see people bitching about their art, saddened by their perceived lack of improvement. I have been one such artist some time ago, while i've not improved to the point of self-aggrandizing myself and qualify what I do as "good", mostly because I don't care, today I have noticed an improvement in my art. Nothing spectacular, nothing I think anyone really paid attention to or would compliment me on.

Yet it's here. I shade hair better. It's not a pun, I'm not losing my hair, fuck off, no, I just am better at giving hair some depth. I noticed that whilst shading Angel's hair. Also I used the words "whilst", I'm a fucking GGGGGGENIUS. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42WcfkpaY50

It's so meager and shite. It's good to know but it's not spectacular enough to care.

When I started drawing, I was really satisfied with what I did. It wasn't good, I had no real input as to what became of every drawing I started, it might be thanks to that I ended up liking it. Rather than failing at drawing what I wanted, I succeeded in drawing whatever. It happened because I didn't care all that much. But then I did try to get control of my art, to steer it in ways that I thought would make it better and it only made me frustrated while creating years' worth of shite I couldn't watch with any bit of pride. Now that I aimed for something, I realized I couldn't hit the target for the life of me.
Little by little, I managed to get back some of the pride I had in my drawing, I hit closer and closer. But then, I got lucky. At one point, one precise point that I can pinpoint to, I suddenly got my groove. I drew something that flicked the switch in me, activated an arstyle I enjoyed and a feeling I thought lost. There's no real way to explain why it happened. An accident ? I made a mistake while drawing that I thought looked good and went with it ? I just tried something different by curiosity ? Dunnow, I forgot.

After that tho, nothing special. There hasn't been anything special in my art since then but tiny incremental improvements that are basically unoticeable. Like the hair. What would have happened had there been only those incremental improvements ? Would I be happy with what I draw ? Is that because so many never got that click that they endlessly bitch about their failings ?

I guess I am lucky, there was one point where I suddenly knew what to do, what I wanted, that I truly happy with what I was drawing. It wasn't great, it's still not, but to have a sudden surge in satisfaction for what you do is the best feeling.
I hope there are some among you who'll feel that one day in whatever field you decide to accomplish yourself in.

Anyway, that's my pointless wordings done, back to drawings butts.