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Alone
16 years ago
Lately, i've been feeling really alone and un-loved. My dad made it clear i was a dissapointment because i hate sports, and my mom and step dad told me they hate me, because apparantly i act like my dad, while everyone says i'm like my mom. I dont know what is more insulting. I don't really concider anyone my family, except my grandparents, because they seem to be the only ones who understand me. To make it all worse, i've become paranoid that i'm going to loose all my friends. They seem pissed off with me whenever i talk to them on MSN, and i hate the feeling.
Worst still, i had my first full gay sexual experiance last week. It was horrible, and i thought it would shift me to girls even more, but it didn't. And now, to top it all off, my feeling for my best friend are worse. I really like him, but im almost possative he would never do anything with a guy, especialy one like me. I even told myself i'd never date a guy, but lately, with him, and a few others, who just happen to be close friends too, i dont know anything anymore. Everything seems to be pilling on me at once, and on top of this week long headache, i really don't think i'll be able to handle it much longer. Today alone i've broken down and cried in my room. Lots of people have made it clear what they think of me lately. I hate myself for it, and its all because i dont have any guts. I freak out at anything that looks like a needle, it takes me forever to decide whether or not to do a stunt on my bike, which i know pisses my friends off, and i don't have tallent in anything usefull.
Anyway, that was my emo, sissy, pathetic rant, Sorry for wasting those moments of your life
Worst still, i had my first full gay sexual experiance last week. It was horrible, and i thought it would shift me to girls even more, but it didn't. And now, to top it all off, my feeling for my best friend are worse. I really like him, but im almost possative he would never do anything with a guy, especialy one like me. I even told myself i'd never date a guy, but lately, with him, and a few others, who just happen to be close friends too, i dont know anything anymore. Everything seems to be pilling on me at once, and on top of this week long headache, i really don't think i'll be able to handle it much longer. Today alone i've broken down and cried in my room. Lots of people have made it clear what they think of me lately. I hate myself for it, and its all because i dont have any guts. I freak out at anything that looks like a needle, it takes me forever to decide whether or not to do a stunt on my bike, which i know pisses my friends off, and i don't have tallent in anything usefull.
Anyway, that was my emo, sissy, pathetic rant, Sorry for wasting those moments of your life
As far as the gay thing goes, my first experience wasnt all that great either, it wasn't horrible... but I honestly think foreplay is the better part of sex, and I've found that (especially with gays) who you're with really makes a difference.
But have you ever tried dating a girl? I had doubts for a while that I was mistaken, and that I was just confused, so I gave hetro dating a shot. It was a disaster, but at least I confirmed my feelings.
...and I have no idea why, but it seems most nocturnal furries are in this situation
i'm in a better mood today,besides my mom accusingme of liking alcohol too much. One glass of wine and im an alcoholic apparantly
no offense, but it sounds like your parents are jerks.