Really wish I could offer some good advice :( sorry to hear you've been having a rough time of it man

no problem, thanks dude <3

Fibromyalgia has got to be terrible ;__; too bad most meds like this have to cause such severe withdrawal.

I was on Fluoxetine when I had to take them, acording to my old therapist, they work for both anxiety and depression, but cause weight loss.

Though if antidepressants have caused an increase in suicidal thoughts on you, I highly don't recommend going on them again. While they are stimulants to help you do things, it might not be the right one and might push you to actually have the energy to act upon the thoughts. I'm speaking from personal experience, I'm strictly prohibited from taking any kind of antidepressants for the same cause.

I forgot that Fluoxetine was the other name for Prozac, so we were taking the same thing it seems :/
I've heard so many people say that drug is evil and to get off of it as fast as you can. I definitely won't be taking that again.

I'm not sure other meds would have the same dangerous effects, but I could be wrong.
Another commenter reminded me of an herb called St.John's Wart that's supposed to help depression, so I'm gonna try that before anything else. u__u

I researched on it so many times and I found nothing about its dangers, but I sure as hell wish I had found something, maybe then things wouldn't have gotten ugly lmao

Maybe! But antidepressants here have have to be recommended by the doctors before you can even buy them, and I think it's on my medical record that I'm not allowed to take them. 8') Gotta deal with shit unmedicated, which is awful.
Let me know if that herb works for you though!!

Consider doing Saint John's Wart if you can't, it's not over the counter, but it might help.

My parents have mentioned that in the past, and we might even still have some actually.
Thank you for reminding me! I'll probably try that before I do anything else.

let me know how it goes ^^

If your meds ever made you feel or think anything like that then I would highly advise you don't take them again.

Anyway, my experience with anti-depressants is..odd..

TL:DR Lexapro seemed to work the best for me, but it gave me some side effects I didn't like. It might not do that for you since we're all different.

I was first put on lexapro which worked great for my depression and anxiety but it gave me some really weird side effects like shaky hands and muscle tension. I guess that was the stimulants working?? I then switched to venlafaxine which didn't work as well as lexapro but it didn't have any side effects.. later i switched again to something else. I forget what it was (Im thinking it was Proxac) but it was a super hardcore med. It had the worst side effects yet making me just feel overall worse like lethargic and weak.. I think it worsened my depression too. Like I even had a few times where suicide crossed my mind and I had never had that ever before.. I was super miserable and wasn't on that one for long. Like two or three weeks? It was at that point that I was just done trying new things. I think my doctor had no clue what he was doing. (pretty sure he was just a medical doctor who had basic knowledge of depression and the meds used for it) It was just an overall weird experience.
I decided that I could feel better on my own without meds.
So I stopped taking meds all together and I had some unpleasant withdrawals such as vertigo and dizziness. But I was determined and sobered up and I've felt really good ever since (still have anxiety from time to time but I can deal with that). I know that's not a common thing to happen and I'm super thankful that it worked out for me in the end.

I hope you figure out something that works for you sleepy star <3

Yeah I think the best fix is just to find your footing and find something that makes you become active, such as a job.
I know that that would help me but I'm just in a weird spot right now where I'm too scared to get a job and also thinking about too many things.

I'm glad that you've freed yourself from any stupid meds!! ;; I know I could do without them if I was in the right place but I feel like I need that little boost again.

That's a very good point. Sometimes things can get piled up or just the right combination of things really make it difficult.
Its okay to be scared. Work is scary. That's where most of my anxieties come from. Just take your time and maybe talk with the mangers at potential places to let them know of your anxieties. Some places are super nice and will work with you.

Thank you ; o ; I hope you someday will be freed of them too~ There's nothing wrong with needing that little boost.

Just remember that you're the dragonborn and that you've slayed dragons.. if you can do that, you can do anything :'D -brick'd-

I can say that Lexapro has turned my life around. Psychiatrists were not working at all, but then I found an excellent doctor who was understanding and helpful and he prescribed me that medicine. While it didn't exactly "cure" it [like a person is cured from a cold], it gave me the ability to control it and keep it from running my life. I felt much happier, gained back all the weight I had lost and compelled to finally DO things in my life, and "get out of bed" as you said.
As many here have testified, you must take it daily or you will suffer withdrawal syndromes for sure [fatigue, dizziness, nervousness, frustration and mood swings]. It's nothing serious though as long as you take it as soon as possible again.

That said, everyone reacts differently to different drugs. I know it didn't give me any suicidal thoughts, but I couldn't say the same for someone else, nor that it would be as effective. So in the end, I'd recommend finding a very good personal doctor [doesn't necessarily need to be a specialist] who can guide you and you can confide in. Plus, also someone understanding whom you trust that you can talk to like a family member or a very close friend.

Yeah everyone is so different, it's hard to find the right one. Lexapro seems to work a lot of people though.. I may try it someday if nothing else works. I'm so glad it's working for you!
As far as people to confide in, sometimes talking to my parents works, sometimes it doesn't.. depends on the topic, and both of our moods. But it's something.

This is my story. Your mileage may vary, and my advice cannot take the place of a competent, trained and licensed psychologist or physician.

I have struggled with depression all of my life. I survived a brutal, sometimes horrific childhood. It's left lasting scars on my mind and heart that I am still dealing with, even today.

When I was in my twenties it got severe. I finally decided to ask for help.

I had a good job, which paid good.

My doctor and I went through probably 8 different anti depressants, everything from Zoloft to Neurontin. One made me go blind and deaf for a brief period. Others worked so-so. What really worked was prozac.

During this time I was heavy into riding my bicycle, and I would ride 15 miles a day, and I pushed myself every single time. Once when I arrived at work I had a case of acid reflux, and suddenly I could taste the Prozac pill I had taken that morning. It tasted like poison, and it took half the day before I got the taste out of my mouth.

Fast forward a few years, and the company I work for folds. I am out of a job.

Prozac is still a relatively new thing and filling the prescription is quite expensive.

So now I cannot afford it. So I have to stop taking it.

I went from feeling well adjusted, and "happy", to being literally right back where I was before I started taking the antidepressant.

It was devastating to me. I thought I was "Cured" but it was only a bandaid. I swore the day it all came crashing in on me again, that I'd never take another prescription mood or mind altering drug again.

And I have not. For close to twenty years. Yes, I still struggle with crippling depression but fighting through it, I have never been happier, or more well adjusted. I am literally so thankful I made my mind up to fight through it rather than taking a band aid.

Now here's my advice. Two things worked for me, and continue to work this day.

Please do not discount this advice because it really truly works.

Multivitamins. I am serious. I can literally feel the energy when I take them. I take several. They used to give me anxiety, but I fought through it until they upped not only my energy and feeling of well being, but my mood as well. Those things kinda go hand in hand.

When I can afford to I take a literal handful of natural supplements.

I have tried various natural mood enhancers, such as St. John's wort. They worked so-so, and some gave my anxiety.

I will tell you what worked the very best for me, all around, throughout the day, and that is an amino acid called L-Theanine.

You know that feeling of well being and good mood you get from drinking a cup of coffee or caffeinated tea? Well L-Theanine is like that, but more regulated, and it lasts throughout the day. Doubling your dose does little to increase the effect.

But L-Theanine is the wonder supplement I have been missing literally my entire life.

The best part... You can get it at Wal Mart for under $3. The bottle can last you 3 months and beyond, (You get 100 capsules) so that's literally a dollar a month.

Pretty sweet.


The other thing, is my personal view on antidepressants is, they are akin to aspirin for the spirit. You take aspirin to make pain in your body dull, but the pain is there because of a reason.

For me, being molested/beaten/almost murdered as a child really crossed some wires in my heart/mind. In my teenage years I experimented sexually and got even more confused.

But what has helped me immensely is an actual relationship with Jesus Christ. Hey, if He doesn't exist you literally have nothing to lose. All you have to do is ask Him into your heart, and obey His laws (Abiding in Him).

I personally believe that God is my creator, and Jesus Christ came to live among us as a mortal man, living a sinless life, and having died a terrible death, he paid the penalty for my sins.

The theme in the Bible is that God doesn't care what you do on the outside. You can be some kind of a philanthropist and still be twisted, deep down.

What matters to God is the heart, spiritually speaking. What matters is on the inside. I am 37 years old and God has been working with me to sort out the confusion, repair the damage that was done to me or that I have done to myself. Open my eyes to the beauty of the opposite sex. Showing me incredible revelations about why I feel this way about that thing, what happened to cause me to be that way, and instantly healing it. Like an, "Oh, okay, I get it now." moment.

Literal miracles have happened... My church I go to has been very accepting and kind, they have given me food and money when I needed it (Without me asking for it). They have a flier they hand out, it says, "Tattoos welcome", because my pastor believes nobody should ever feel alienated or made to feel guilty for anything going to church. There is a right way and a wrong way, and naturally sin can not be supported, because it will kill you eventually. If you find a church that tells you how to dress... find another church.

It is important we as Christians recognize our own fallen nature, see our flawed humanity (Nobody is perfect) and relate to others on this mutual level.

I apologize for this great length of words. I hope my advice helps you, in some way. I urge you try pick up a bottle of L-Theanine at a health food store, perhaps, and see if that helps you :)

I should add this.

I used to have severe anxiety. (Was hospitalized for it once.)

Especially drinking coffee. I love coffee. What worked for me was fighting through it. I had to convince myself every second that I was not about to die. And it took years, but it worked. Now I can drink a whole pot of coffee and I may experience some anxiety from it if i overdo it. When I sense the anxiety just coming (It's about 1/1000 as severe as before) I know to limit my coffee and I try not to drink any past noon or it affects my sleep.

I also used to have severe obsessive/compulsive disorder, especially when I was in my teenage years. It got so bad, combined with severe hypochondria, that I would back away from people, hold my breath in crowds, and life became unmanageable/miserable.

You know how I beat that? I did everything the OCD demons told me not to do. "AVOID THAT CRACK IN THE CEMENT!" They screamed, "YOUR WORLD WILL END IF YOU STEP ON IT!"

So I stepped on the crack.

"TURN YOUR HEAD TO THE RIGHT, YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT!"

So I turned my head to the left.

And so on. I stopped rubbing bleach into every tiny cut. (My mom was a nurse during the AIDS outbreak and she would come home and tell her little son about the horrific things that happened to people and how EASY it was for me to end up the exact same way...)

Eventually when I got street water splashed on me I just wiped it off and pushed down the thoughts of it containing HIV or some god awful disease that would surely kill me in a few days.

Twenty years later, I have been exposed to a great many diseases, from people, animals, whatever, and little phases me. If something worries me, I pray about it. I give it to God. (In the Bible, Jesus says to "Cast your worries on Me" so that's what I do. Here you go, Jesus, handle it. Thanks. Literally just like that.)

To this day when I see my mom and catch up with her she will tell me about how I need to be soooo careful with this thing or that thing and I just SMH. It sucks to be in a medical prison in your mind, fearful of every little germ. So I understand you when you talk about anxiety and panic attacks, I used to get them severely.

I can tell you beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are NOT doing to die. That you ARE going to be alright. Sometimes, we have to fight in life, and get out of our comfort zones, but the reward is real. I wouldn't trade freedom from some of my issues for all the money, treasure, cars, trucks, motorcycles, land, everything in the world.

You are going to be fine. *Hugs you* (If that's okay, if not I'll just pretend to from a comfortable distance :) )

You have no idea how much I appreciate this comment, please don't feel bad for writing so much.

I'm so glad God has worked with you throughout your life, and I'm glad you've found help in multiple other ways as well.
I'm a Christian, but I'm struggling, not only with depression but with other mental battles. I'm hoping one day I'll learn to cooperate with God.

Thank you SO much for the recommendations. I'll be sure to write them down and try them, definitely.
My parents have used St.John's Wart, but I've never tried it. I'll try the cheapest option first and kinda make my way through what you mentioned.

Many thanks <3

My friend, I can tell you, with an utter guarantee that it gets better. It gets easier. I wish I could tell you there was a simple solution, but the truth is, for people like us, we have to fight. But we know emotions so intense few people could ever hope to reach them. The opposite is, we also know lows that make it feel as if the entire world is ending.

I can also tell you that when things seem the bleakest, God will pull you out of it. You will be okay. That is a promise, a guarantee. Sometimes all we can do, is push through the remnants of another day. God promises that His mercies are new every day... Soon, you will begin to see the light of day.

St. Johns Wort had little effect for me, and I heard it is hard on your liver (?). But L-theanine works wonders for me. Of the two friends I recommended, one said it helps him immensely with his anxiety, and the other said it improved his mood significantly. Unfortunately nothing is a one size fits all cure, but I highly encourage you to search it out. If walmart doesn't carry it (One of our Walmarts didn't carry it while the other one did) you can get it online, or at a health food store, health food stores usually being higher quality and purity than what you get at Walmart. Although Walmart stuff works, it just seems a little diluted.

I also think L-Theanine is the cheapest option, for less than a dollar a month it can't be beat, and you never have to worry about seeing a doctor.

I am also interested to see what your results will be.

As with any medication, be aware that it may take a week or two for you to "feel" the results. Don't give up! I noticed when I take L-Theanine and drink a cup of coffee that the rush from the coffee (I am hypersensitive to caffeine, by the way...) is significantly diminished, but the tradeoff is more than worth it. I think the L-Theanine is replacing something I have been lacking my entire life.

I truly hope you find it to be the thing you are "missing".

If you need someone to talk to... I'm here. :)

Well I'm on escitalopran which is similar to citalorpan and that is working wonders for me personally. I'm more positive and have more energy and determination with them than any others I've had before. I would say that mitrazipine is the worst one to take. I found them made more aggressive and a constant habit of eating. Even when I was not hungry or wanting to.

A lot of people have said that escitalopran/Lexapro works for them. I might give that a try if nothing else works!

I should think it will work for you as much as it for me.

honestly xanax and alcohol is the best combo (for me at least) lmao

but no another good anti-d i take is lithium
it's like probably the most"natural" out of all anti-d's?

but you have to get your blood tested first but i'm sure you'd be fine since i'm anemic and they still gave it to me