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Personal activity and information, housekeeping, new series
8 years ago
Hello all you lovely, beautiful people. It's been quite some time... Too long, actually, since I've even stopped by to say hello. I'm here, and I have a lot of stuff to talk about. I first want to apologize for my long, inexcusable absence. I say this all the time, and I mean it every time: You guys are too amazing and awesome, more than I deserve, and my abandonment is just not right... I hope you guys can forgive me for being such a fool.
Like stated, I have a lot of personal stuff and general housekeeping info pertaining to my art to talk about, so I'm going to split them up into sections for some easy reading:
Personal Activity/Information
I guess there's really no better place to start than to tell you guys some stuff I should have revealed when I first “set up shop” on FA, but I'm a super shy guy and I kind of avoided doing this. The time has come, and I owe you this much, at least:
So, a little bit about me... I have a lot of problems, guys... The first I should address is probably what keeps me away so much: My extreme antisocial behavior... Yeah. I suffer from a host of phobias that keep me from wanting to be around others- From my germaphobia to my mild anthropophobia and fatally extreme glossophobia. The worst part of my phobias would definitely be the one where I'm completely afraid of communicating with other people (or at least how they will respond to what I say) in any way, shape, or form. I don't want to say it may be complete Avoidant Personality Disorder, but they do tick a lot of the same marks (not wanting to be around other humans while still striving for some sort of company, terrible self-perception, social anxiety, etc.) One thing I have all but confirmed I may suffer from is some form of Depression. This isn't just from my own self-diagnosis, but also from many other people, some who have in the past and still currently fight Depression every day. The cruelty and hate I see every day doesn't help any of these states at all, and that cooking alongside all my other problems makes it hard for me, a lot of times, to find the motivation to move on with things- Which, among many other things, means keeping up with my submissions, requests, and just keeping up with all you amazing people... And I know it's not fair to you guys that I let all these problems keep me from at least staying in contact. So, what I'm trying to say here is I need to stop with excuses, stop promising you guys that when I come back it'll be for good. I never plan on dropping off the radar and I sure hate myself for doing it, but a lot of times I just can't help the feelings that flood over me and I just run away, curl up in a corner, and leave everyone in the dark... Sadly I can never confirm when this will happen.
I wish that was the only reason I was so inactive this year so far, but lo, it's not. 2017 has truly been a horrible year so far- February I lost a dear family friend to a heart attack. We've been trying to help his loved ones get through it, but they're not doing too good and I always fear the worst. Just a little over a week ago I euthanized my dearest fur baby due to an incurable lung fluid build-up from a weak heart... I know not everyone can understand someone who sees an animal on the same level as a human, but to me it's no different, and I haven't been handling it well. To tack even more heartache onto this tragedy, I lost my second fur baby, and it's highly likely to be from the exact same disease, just a few days ago, (I guess I deserve it for adopting strays and abandoned animals.) I don't want to use these tragedies to direct sympathy towards me, because the ones who have left are who deserve the sympathy (and my beautiful buddy,
blackhowler12 has really been helping me pull through personally.) All these tragedies piling up have made it hard to think about anything else over the last few months...
So, I hope this information helps clear up why I so infamously disappear months at a time for no called reason, and why I've been gone so long. I'm really sorry, guys. I truly don't mean to keep doing this.
Housekeeping
So, it's been so long now, I'm sure it comes as no surprise that I am completely lost on the requests that I have backed up. With this said, I'm reworking my request system again- As you can probably tell, keeping track of requests and currently worked items on my front page was messy and really hurt more than help. Unfortunately, this means I will be wiping all the current requests I may have on the table completely clean. I really apologize to those who have been waiting for requests from me, and I hope this doesn't tarnish our working or personal relationships... I'm going to be keeping a request database (or spreadsheet if I'm too lazy) and have a journal on here that will have all currently worked requests on it. Sadly I won't be taking requests until I put this journal up. When I get it up, if you did have requests on the table, please just restate them again, I'd really appreciate it, and I'll add them in my sheet and journal immediately.
So, there is another (fairly large) thing that will be changing: As you know I love writing (even if I'm not amazing at it) and music. With this, I might end up adding more story to my pieces, whether that be more pieces with dialogue in them, or just more descriptive, well... Descriptions of my submissions. On top of this, a lot of my pieces get inspired by the feelings that are invoked in me while I'm listening to my music, so I hope it's no problem that I'll be posting a LOT more submissions that will have inspiration from music that has hit me at the time (much like that “Free Like the Wind” piece I made quite a while back.)
Now sadly this is still a while away, but it's something I have promised for a while... As long as things don't spin out of control on me- Expect a good possibility of seeing actual original 3D characters and animations made by me at the end of this year/beginning of next year (fingers crossed, we'll see how this actually goes.) With that said, if it does finally become a reality, I will also hopefully be opening commissions on making 3D OC's and Animations for others. (Price-wise, I hope I can be extremely affordable in this matter, I already have an idea in my head how I will go about this. That matter will be addressed if/when this point comes to fruition, though.)
New Series – Ask Driexel
Lastly, but not least, I'm really wanting to open one of those “Ask” series in the form of “Ask Driexel.” My reasoning for doing this is, in all honesty, to possibly help learn about you guys and to hopefully help show more of myself and characters to you all. This will be an open-ask series- So you will be able to ask Driexel any questions you want about anyone or anything you want. (Whether they be characters or real-life stuff.) You can ask him his opinion on things or others, as well as other's opinions on the same, and the hyena will answer to the best of his abilities.
(Side note: If you want to ask him a question about me, mention Gelrend in your ask. If you mention Gelemar, I'll assume you're asking a question about my fursona, and not me.)
It's going to be a little while before I actually open up this series, and when I do I'll try to add more information pertaining to it.
I believe this about covers everything I wanted to say so far. I'm sure there's much more, but I can't pull it out of my brain at the moment. Thank you all for being so patient with me, I truly appreciate it.
Like stated, I have a lot of personal stuff and general housekeeping info pertaining to my art to talk about, so I'm going to split them up into sections for some easy reading:
Personal Activity/Information
I guess there's really no better place to start than to tell you guys some stuff I should have revealed when I first “set up shop” on FA, but I'm a super shy guy and I kind of avoided doing this. The time has come, and I owe you this much, at least:
So, a little bit about me... I have a lot of problems, guys... The first I should address is probably what keeps me away so much: My extreme antisocial behavior... Yeah. I suffer from a host of phobias that keep me from wanting to be around others- From my germaphobia to my mild anthropophobia and fatally extreme glossophobia. The worst part of my phobias would definitely be the one where I'm completely afraid of communicating with other people (or at least how they will respond to what I say) in any way, shape, or form. I don't want to say it may be complete Avoidant Personality Disorder, but they do tick a lot of the same marks (not wanting to be around other humans while still striving for some sort of company, terrible self-perception, social anxiety, etc.) One thing I have all but confirmed I may suffer from is some form of Depression. This isn't just from my own self-diagnosis, but also from many other people, some who have in the past and still currently fight Depression every day. The cruelty and hate I see every day doesn't help any of these states at all, and that cooking alongside all my other problems makes it hard for me, a lot of times, to find the motivation to move on with things- Which, among many other things, means keeping up with my submissions, requests, and just keeping up with all you amazing people... And I know it's not fair to you guys that I let all these problems keep me from at least staying in contact. So, what I'm trying to say here is I need to stop with excuses, stop promising you guys that when I come back it'll be for good. I never plan on dropping off the radar and I sure hate myself for doing it, but a lot of times I just can't help the feelings that flood over me and I just run away, curl up in a corner, and leave everyone in the dark... Sadly I can never confirm when this will happen.
I wish that was the only reason I was so inactive this year so far, but lo, it's not. 2017 has truly been a horrible year so far- February I lost a dear family friend to a heart attack. We've been trying to help his loved ones get through it, but they're not doing too good and I always fear the worst. Just a little over a week ago I euthanized my dearest fur baby due to an incurable lung fluid build-up from a weak heart... I know not everyone can understand someone who sees an animal on the same level as a human, but to me it's no different, and I haven't been handling it well. To tack even more heartache onto this tragedy, I lost my second fur baby, and it's highly likely to be from the exact same disease, just a few days ago, (I guess I deserve it for adopting strays and abandoned animals.) I don't want to use these tragedies to direct sympathy towards me, because the ones who have left are who deserve the sympathy (and my beautiful buddy,
blackhowler12 has really been helping me pull through personally.) All these tragedies piling up have made it hard to think about anything else over the last few months...So, I hope this information helps clear up why I so infamously disappear months at a time for no called reason, and why I've been gone so long. I'm really sorry, guys. I truly don't mean to keep doing this.
Housekeeping
So, it's been so long now, I'm sure it comes as no surprise that I am completely lost on the requests that I have backed up. With this said, I'm reworking my request system again- As you can probably tell, keeping track of requests and currently worked items on my front page was messy and really hurt more than help. Unfortunately, this means I will be wiping all the current requests I may have on the table completely clean. I really apologize to those who have been waiting for requests from me, and I hope this doesn't tarnish our working or personal relationships... I'm going to be keeping a request database (or spreadsheet if I'm too lazy) and have a journal on here that will have all currently worked requests on it. Sadly I won't be taking requests until I put this journal up. When I get it up, if you did have requests on the table, please just restate them again, I'd really appreciate it, and I'll add them in my sheet and journal immediately.
So, there is another (fairly large) thing that will be changing: As you know I love writing (even if I'm not amazing at it) and music. With this, I might end up adding more story to my pieces, whether that be more pieces with dialogue in them, or just more descriptive, well... Descriptions of my submissions. On top of this, a lot of my pieces get inspired by the feelings that are invoked in me while I'm listening to my music, so I hope it's no problem that I'll be posting a LOT more submissions that will have inspiration from music that has hit me at the time (much like that “Free Like the Wind” piece I made quite a while back.)
Now sadly this is still a while away, but it's something I have promised for a while... As long as things don't spin out of control on me- Expect a good possibility of seeing actual original 3D characters and animations made by me at the end of this year/beginning of next year (fingers crossed, we'll see how this actually goes.) With that said, if it does finally become a reality, I will also hopefully be opening commissions on making 3D OC's and Animations for others. (Price-wise, I hope I can be extremely affordable in this matter, I already have an idea in my head how I will go about this. That matter will be addressed if/when this point comes to fruition, though.)
New Series – Ask Driexel
Lastly, but not least, I'm really wanting to open one of those “Ask” series in the form of “Ask Driexel.” My reasoning for doing this is, in all honesty, to possibly help learn about you guys and to hopefully help show more of myself and characters to you all. This will be an open-ask series- So you will be able to ask Driexel any questions you want about anyone or anything you want. (Whether they be characters or real-life stuff.) You can ask him his opinion on things or others, as well as other's opinions on the same, and the hyena will answer to the best of his abilities.
(Side note: If you want to ask him a question about me, mention Gelrend in your ask. If you mention Gelemar, I'll assume you're asking a question about my fursona, and not me.)
It's going to be a little while before I actually open up this series, and when I do I'll try to add more information pertaining to it.
I believe this about covers everything I wanted to say so far. I'm sure there's much more, but I can't pull it out of my brain at the moment. Thank you all for being so patient with me, I truly appreciate it.
Thank you so much, everyone, I love you all
I mean, all your human needs are met here... virtually, not tangibly. A self-master will need more in life than thousands of falsely self-reassuring disconnected ghosts staring into the black mirrors of the the screens of their electronic devices -- generating their ideal reality impotently behind glass where they can never truly have at it.
Really nice to have ya back tho ^,,^