I don't know why you would be picked last. From what I've seen, you are really nice and your art is pretty. ^.^

Awe thank you! It's just mainly my personal life I guess. v.v I wouldn't mind if it was here and just my art. I have a lot of improvement to do to get good. Just sucks in real life not getting picked first by the people who matter most in your life.

I totally know how that feels. I have that problem with family recently, funny enough. I just wanted to let you know you aren't alone (cause I know when I know that, it makes me feel better). :> <3

Smex,

As a man who's been through two divorces in his lifetime, believe me when I say that I feel you. But, let me also say that, in the wake of those two events, I have learned one thing: You make your own happiness. One of the hardest things we face in life isn't finding love, it isn't finding success, it's not even retirement with enough money in the bank. No, one of the hardest things we face in life is being totally, utterly, completely alone. As I was growing up, as I spent years in the military, and as the years went by, I found that I was more fulfilled by those around me than by myself.

It was during my tenure on Hawaii while I was in the Air Force that I found myself completely alone. Recently divorced, living on my own in a paradise, I hit rock-bottom, and finally came to a point where I didn't want to live anymore. When the words "I just wish I was dead" finally came out of my mouth one afternoon while sobbing on my couch, I realized that I'd reached a point where help was necessary. I called my counselor, she referred me to a psychiatrist downtown, and one of the first things my mom told me when I called her was "Go to lunch, by yourself, and enjoy the peace and quiet."

Smex, that moment changed quite a bit. In the quiet of a Ruby Tuesday's during the off-meal hours, the quiet was finally something it had never been.

Relaxing, healing, and soothing.

Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months, and so on. And over time, I found myself relying less and less on others, and more and more on myself. That doesn't mean that now, at almost 37, that I have no friends, don't have a relationship, and am just a hermit in a one-room yurt in Siberia. No, it means that after all these years, I stopped depending on others to make me happy, and found joy, peace, self-assurance, and comfort in my own skin, with my own inner voice, and confidence in just "Jim."

I have encouraged other friends via Facebook, personal conversations, and otherwise, to learn to appreciate themselves, to find comfort in their own skin. To rely and wish that someone else will pick us is to depend on another for fulfillment. As another friend of mine has recently learned, that's severely draining on the other person, and it ultimately drives them away. When you are comfortable alone, and can find peace in yourself, you afford a magnetic, rejuvenating energy that will rapidly draw others to you.

Maybe this is all presumptuous, and maybe I've interpreted what you're expressing incorrectly. If that's the case, I'm terribly sorry for wasting your reading time. But what I can hope is that this speaks to you, and perhaps, even in some small way, this helps you through your struggles.

I'm on here quite a bit as of late, so if you need to vent, talk, gripe, whine, complain, scream, or verbally punch something, shoot me a note. Otherwise, I hope you find what you need. :)

--Jim