Stay strong Lost. I'm sure along with myself that people are willing to wait for their art. Don't push your self and go out of the bounds of health just to please the public. I get that people want their art 'right now now now' most the time but because you are being honest I am sure most will understand.

God I sure hope so

Perhaps I'm misunderstanding but you have 50+ commissions unfinished and am taking more in the next 3 weeks? That seems more like digging an even bigger hole than crawling out of one.

Regardless, no shame in admitting you need help and have been taking care of yourself to the best of your abilties; people will understand.

What I'm doing is in steam commissions you pay on the day and get the art an hour later. They are smaller images I used to do all the time to raise the money so I can dedicate the next few months to the outstanding commissions and the quality they deserve

I don't mind waiting a bit for my commission take your time to catch up and try not to wear yourself out, and keep up the amazing work <3

Thank you so much ;;

That's amazing anything helps I just need to take charge of my life and that's exactly what I'm going to do

I will say this hopefully before anyone else will get to comment, showing that you are vulnerable shows your strength and commitment to being honest with yourself and others, and I hope that no others will fault you for that.

I would try not to worry about your last worry, there are a few things that you can do to help mitigate it, take small breaks between pieces seems to help a lot of artists, try being mindful of your thoughts and actually talk back to them to tell them off [which is something counselors sometimes recommend], and simply try to breathe and be mindful of that. Some of the best calming recommendations that I have seen usually ask you to focus on 1 thing for like 60 seconds, and only that thing, whether it is your breathing, a pencil, your finger, just something, so that everything else is out of focus.

I wish you the best right now, but being vulnerable shows immense strength of character.

thank you so much for the incredibly kind words. it means the world to read them from someone like you. you didnt need to take the time out of your sunday night to help a complete stranger on the internet. just thank you so much...

Trust me when I say I know how stress and anxiety can hinder things, but I also know that a little help can go a long way. Remember to just breathe, it is amazing how much can be done by just the way you breathe.

You really aren't a stranger because we all struggle from time to time, and that is something everyone shares in. Though our paths may be different with different challenges, we all struggle, and we should all strive to help each other.

Your health should always come first so I suppose you can give this a shot, HOWEVER, at the first signs of elevated stress- considering the severity of your stress levels current, I would cease.

It's hard. Commissioners may be mad. But you can't function if you can't breathe, have lost motor function, and your hearts pounding through your ribcage.

that is true, but I'm close to the end of my rope here and i have to make this change to prove to everyone as well as myself i can do this regardless of what may happen. thank you for the guidance on this though and the show of concern I will surely take it into account through this venture.

I wish I could do more than simply provide guidance. Alas, I'm in a similar situation... Positive vibes your way.

thank you i know ill need them down the road.

I do all my commissions in-stream, I honestly find it helps me focus better than doing them off-stream and I don't feel as stressed out about them. It hasn't impacted my ability to sell commissions, and you have FAR more watchers than me so I don't think that'd upset your ability to sell stuff.

Upsetting your current commissions is always a possibility, you just have to try and manage time where you can sell new commissions and also work on older ones. I usually work on older ones and newer ones to help clear my queue and support me.



I wish you the best, anxiety and stress sucks.

thank you! I'm just doing the best that i can to be honest. I need to make this happen before i lose everything.

I know how hard it can be at times, but you can do it!

thank you so much ;;

I think everyone can appreciate your honesty here. A lot of people don't understand sometimes what artists have to go through to keep their heads above water with bills and commissions, balancing how much money you need with how much work you can promise to give people. I'm sure people will be willing to wait. I can post a journal advertising for you when you start these if you want to see if people might grab one up, I would but unfortunately I don't have the money myself to do that.

I know where your coming from with the anxiety, seriously, I could tell you all about it, but to save time in your comments just understand your not alone. If you ever need anyone to talk to, or to try to help calm you down, please don't be afraid to send me a note.

thank you a ton i wont forget about that offer sometime you may get a note from me heh ^^" ptsd is a bitch

Yes it can be, I have it too, and it is no fun to have to deal with~

love you fakes <3

If I may be honest here; you're incredibly amazing, and strong
I believe things will get better Lost, I've been watching you for a long time and it hurt me to see the struggles you went through..
I wish there was something I could have done to help, but alas.
We're here for you, even when it feels like you're alone, you still got us!
Also wishing you the best of luck <3

And remember if things get to much, take a few days to yourself
Taking breaks is a good thing.

There is also the pomodoro method you could try while working on commissions as well, I found it helped me a lot personally
Should look it up and give it a try!

ill check it out for sure i have no clue what it is yet but honestly anything is worth a try at this point.

to be honest with you im at the end up my rope. my depressioin. anxiety. dysphoria. everyting... if i cant get my finances together if i cant get my passion together...i dont know what im going to do... i dont mean to say that to scare you or anyone else.. but ive been in that deep dark place many many times and thankfully failed but.. i dunno i just worry what might happen if i get thrown in there again. if ill even come back out..


everyone says im strong.. yes ive kept kicking through my constant panic attacks from the physical abuse, mental abuse, and ... well to be blunt rape. from my ex and i feel like if im still kicking now.. i can keep going but god for how much longer if i keep losing my shit like this..

I've gone through the same trauma as you, trading physical with emotional, for 10 years until I got away from my ex. I go through panic/anxiety attacks often and my triggers come out of nowhere. I understand so much what you're going through.

You are not alone. You are stronger than your fears, dear one.

Like many others, if you need a listening ear, I'm here as well.

thank you so much i dont want to blame what ive done on what has happened to me. its hard to move forward and forgive someone who has done such horrible things to me but its just another mountian i have to face. and im going to face it head on now.. with with some luck and determination ill come out the otherside a new woman.

As long as you don't forget the ones you owe and don't disappear I don't think anyone will be that mad as long as the in-stream commissions get done at the same time in-stream.

Keep doing what you do, stress only gets worse if you think on it too much. I hope that you will do what you need to do and that you will keep moving forward.

I couldn't forget about the outstanding ones if I even wanted to nor could I disappear without you guys without this fandom I have nothing else heh ..

I myself am a lurker these days, I know what it's like to take on and have a lot of backlog. The commissioners I had were very understanding and had the patients of a saint. You are very straight forward in your journal here and you need even more help to keep going, I am sure you have the help you need here, the support looks good.

Don't be disappointed in yourself, you will eventually get things done as you have intended, just will take a little longer than expected.

Why not work on your current commissions in-stream?

I do want to it's just I'm not able to pay my bills or house payments or medication costs so I'm trying to get the money together so that I have a few months to do the full commissions in good quality instead of shitting out sub par artwork just to pay the bills you all deserve so much more then a quick shitty job on a piece that can mean a lot to you. You deserve the best I can produce! I don't sleep or eat if I feel like I've givin someone a pic of the quality they paid for

what about something like this?

you do in-stream commissions 2 - 3 days of the week to make money for bills and expenses
then for the rest of the week work on queued things?
then people see you are still making progress on your queue, but you also have the money coming in :)

i don't have a long queue but this is how i sort of work things, i have a queue which i work on a few days of the week but most of my 'income' is through stream comms.

I did rattle that in my head for a while but due to my anxiety it prevents me from being able to do quality work with the sudden jolt from sketches to painted work. Idk I may be stupid or wrong but I think this is the best way to go ... I'm sorry if that came off rude .. I really didn't intend for it to seem that way

no no it's fine! everyone works in different ways of course
i saw above that you have ptsd - i do too.
the only time in my life i allow myself to be 'selfish,' is when it raises its ugly head.

and for you this is a time you can be selfish and do what you need to do to not only stay alive, but as healthy as you can be.

most people who are reasonable can most likely understand this and wait patiently.
the ones who do not understand or want their money back, maybe you can refund 1 or 2 a week with the in-stream commission money :)
paypal invoices now allow tips, if you allow tips on your invoices when taking in-stream comms maybe this will help you to be able to afford everything you need as well as a couple refunds a week to those who will stress you out if left not refunded. for some reason a lot of people seem to like tipping this way, i've had more tips from this than when people send money manually or anything O.o

in my experience most people are happy to wait, the ones that aren't happy to wait, it's less stressful to do extra work so you can refund them, if you can do that extra work.
ofcourse that totally depends on how you are feeling. <3

best wishes <3

yeah thats the plan there is one person who wants a refund and im going to be sure to get that to them. as well as an apology sketch . i really value people who see me worth their money. and i really dont want to be viewed as a stereotypical artist in this fandom.

but yeah PTSD really really bites.. it strikes all the time . and i know a lot of people dont understand the trauma of rape, domestic abuse, and even emotional abuse its not something i usually talk about but yeah i dont want to come off as fake.. but thats okay honestly my PTSD is a ME problem and im seeking help for it and have been for quite a while now and will continue to for quite a while. I cant allow it to control my life anymore

The plan is a good one, though I would advise that you be prepared for it to have some hitches/snags along the way. Keeping focused on your immediate goals should help get through those potential bumps should they arise (and if they don't, all the better =). The other thing is making sure you pace yourself to give adequate time frames. Try to err on the side of overestimates for time frames, and keep people informed about your progress (as hard as it might be, it is the best way to prevent issues overall). Personally, I commend you for this journal, and wish you the best of luck that everything goes smoothly for you to get all of this sorted out. Were I in better financial circumstances at the moment, I would gladly help by grabbing an in stream commission (and should those circumstances radically change early enough, I will be sure to do so =).

Thank you so much for those kind words and I will surely keep my eyes pealed for said bumps !!

sounds like a classic case of 'took to much work because money was needed'
we all fall into that rut. ALL of us! its something we as artists learn from.

what i can suggest, since i have been there too and had to dig myself out of that hole, is just update your journals and social media a LOT!!
Keep people 110% informed at all times on what your doing, what your plan is, and when you will work.

Make a schedual and stick to me. personally, i stream every weed day, and im off on the weekends. i FORCE myself to step away from the computer on weekends and spend time with my room mates, that way i dont get worn out.

remember that mental health is important. if you are having an off day, play some music, lean back and take a breath. youll pull thru.
just remember to get back to that schedual again once your feeling better.

use something like trello to organize your work. use the calander option [top right on trello.com] to organize things by DAY rather than by lists. this will help sooooo much~

otherwise, best of luck to you.
your an awesome artist and a lot of people look up to you, and admire what you do. never forget that you ARE someones hero~


ps/edit- remember refunds are an option too. take in stream commissions, and set aside some of that money to refund folks that you just cant bring yourself to work on.

i did NOT spell check that lol xD sorry for stupid errors

I will be sure to take all of theat into account! I don't doubt that I'm going to infuriate someone with this..

I wish you all the best <3

some people are more patient and understanding than others. Some people will wait patiently and care about you and your health and on the other hand you'll have those pushing harder and harder for their commissions and i know this can be stressful :( I like your idea, and i admire your courage in this journal <3 From a strangers, outsiders view, i do think doing what's best for your health is most important. Maybe working on some owed commissions in between, pacing yourself and giving yourself time to breathe of course. That way current commissioners see their work being done as well even if its slow. In the end it may help you feel more accomplished <3 But only do what YOU think you are capable of doing.
I like to think that those best for you will be the ones who understand and support you through hard times, and those who disregard them aren't worthy of what you have to give in the first place. So take your time and make sure you're doing ok, and never be afraid or ashamed to ask for a helping hand <3
All my luck to you, and if i can, i'll see about supporting you through you commission streams if i come into some extra money <3 Take care.

Thank you so much you're a complete sweetheart the kind words really touched me ;^;

If it helps, I can offer a bit of advice on things I've done to make commissioning easier?

One thing I've started doing that's really lowered my stress levels is I stopped sending out drafts (unless it's a ref sheet of course). It's helpful because I lose so much motivation while waiting for a client to approve something. I feel like it can waste so much time and burns me out. I work well in bursts, and taking the speed bump of waiting out of the equation helps keep up momentum and takes a bit of the mental burden off my shoulders. I make sure I have all the information I need up front and make sure my clients trust me. They wouldn't/shouldn't be commissioning me if they don't trust me, right? I shouldn't need to hold their hand. We're all adults.

I set a strict limit on how many commissions I'll accept at a time. I usually do batches of 10 (unless it's a themed YCH thing or really simple). Doing this helps prevent being overwhelmed and keeps things fresh in my mind. It's also good because a batch that small can get done relatively fast, so I don't end up staying closed for long and everyone can get something quickly. It's also a good feeling to be able to complete a batch and have that sense of accomplishment to stay motivated, instead of having a list that never ends and makes the tasks seen impossible.

I hope this helps, or can help you find a method that works.

Thank you !! I'll def look into that when I finally get my shit together ;; 💕

*insert plenty of rude comments about wanting money back despite having never actually paid for a commission, then goes and shames you on AB*

my jokes aside hun, and in all seriousness this plan over all seems like it can work just as long as you stay on top of it and remember don't exert yourself too much on working on any of this

quality over quantity and always have a sense of honesty this will make commissioners content with you

other wise love yas and I wish you the best of luck <3

(and of course if ever you need to chat you have me on skype)

love you melos <3 thank you for taking the time to comment here ;;

guuurl have you even slept yet!?!

What is the best way to reach you privately? I'd like to offer a hand, But I dunno if here is the best place since I don't wanna write a brick outright

Note skype or telegram are all fine ^^

Aight, booped ya on Skype

Provided some word spreading thorugh my journals. I wish I could help more than that (and I probably will), but I'm kinda in the same situation (not so bad though, but also had some breakdowns)
So I'm fully understand you
Wish you stay strong and... Everything is gonna be alright :3

thank you so much :3 i know it will be alright in the long run :3 i got this !!! >:D

Eyh!
First of all I know 'm a silent follower but I'm a little anxious bean too and commenting is hard

If I may help here lemme give you what I think :
First ; You shouldn't in any way feel ashamed about the commissions delay you have. Not that you customers don't wait, I'm not in the queue (sadly ah! <3) but you give them answers. I know some artists that I won't name here, that took way too much art and never get them done with absolutely no explanation... Maybe am I too deep into money shit and that I understand you better than I understand delay because of any other reason... But I thnik MANY of your customers would be patient about their commission if they know what's happening.

Now about the stream : Damn god I would be interested ; Not in the first days because I have a rent to pay atm but next week maybe ah!
About the fact that this may annoy customer, may I introduce an idea?
Why don't you take stream sketches on some day, and the other ones, you work on other commissions? You don't have to get one art done during the no-stream-sketches day but you can draw at your own speed AND have a lower stress incoming about work ; Sure , if you manage to finished one of your queued commission it's marvelous but you don't have to, just work out stream, while eating things you like or doing stressless things... It help to be even more productive the day after!

I myself work on Monday/Tuesday •Wednesday is a break day• Thursday/Friday •WeekEnd• (I often work on Saturday night but I never force myself about that, it's just "money for fun so do it if you feel like doing it" <3 ) ; And I never done any burn out since more that a year by working like that!

I know by experience that people LOVE WIP. (And so we do :p) So when you work but don't end a piece, you can post WIP over Twitter (as exemple) with you daily progress ; Keeping a public Queue with progress may also be a good thing cause you can SEE how you're work is going ( Especially for yourself, not to say "I still have all of this D: " but "I already drew 3 pictures this week, and this one is sketched and this one is lined!" as exemple : Having things under your eyes (especially with colours, like an excel doc or google doc? ) will help you to set up your work and to achieve things faster!

I may give you 1000 advice to keep anxiety and stress out of your work but I'm afraid to sound like this stranger who speak without knowing you and please don't think that it's not! I love you and your work a lot and trust me if I could help more I would do it ><

So I will just stuck with one advice : Give yourself "treats" to work with. Yep, like when you train a young pup : Give the paw, well here's a treat!
I own many doggies (4 actually) and I can see everyday that a treat worth all the gold ; So when I did my last burn out I decided to try " why can't you work for you too? " ; I everyday set up a list ; as exemple " work 2 hours + work out + do the dishe + take a shower " ; Once I've achieved one thing (ex ; the dishe) I stroke the line and go on the other : "draw one hour" etc etc etc...
When I'm done with the list I give myself a reward : Play video games with a pizza ; Go on a walk with dogs ; Work on cosplay... EVEN DOING NOTHING!
If I don't end a list , I report what's still on it in addition to the next day's one ; My wednesday and Saturday don't have listed things and are my "security" day to finish things I may have delayed for one or another reason =)

But I generally wait so much on the "treats" that the list goes really smooth! Hard during one:two week, but once you understood how much you can put on your list it becomes WAY easier!!!

I'm done with this essay :PPPP Sorry it was longer that expected!!!
Hope you the best and if you may need support ; Know that you can contact this random unknow man that I am and I will likely write you help / radom small talk all night if it can help you!

You are wonderfull, never forget about that!

I will get every piece done im not someone who is going to back down from this. and i know that this is very possible to do. i have got my plan and with it in place ill be able to make everyone happy with this. Granted i could have done this without typing out a long ass journal putting myself at the end of the shooting range but people like you who decide not to pull the trigger on me really gives me hope that the community has got my back even though im the one who has put myself in this position.

You can do it, little fella! I've seen you struggle for a few times, but so far you've always managed to come back up; just try your hardest to stay afloat now, and create priorities!

my first priority and always my first priorty is others and thats exactly what im going to be focusing on this spring. im going to get this done and get back to the old lost that everyone knows. its about goddamn time i move past what has happened to me and be professional.

Stay strong and good luck. Everything will fall into place darling.

thank you so much <33333

Before I write this comment, let it first be known that I myself am a self-employed artist. No, I don't draw furry smut. I make jewelry, gold, silver, gemstones, that sort of thing. It is my sole source of income, so naturally, I take it very seriously.

That being said, I feel vindicated enough to point this out:

I get your life is stressful, and that you feel the need to go on meds to control it, and that everything is doom and gloom, boohoo woe is me, but honestly, this doesn't really make the fact that you pulled a shit move and pretty much took peoples' money and spent it prior to being able to give a refund, okay.

Under normal circumstances, a commissioned artist does not use the money prior to the artwork being finished, just in case. This also applies to myself, despite my turn-over time being easily 2 months during hectic periods. I have the money go into my paypal, and when I've completed the jewelry I was paid for, and sent it in the mail, 'THEN', and only then, do I actually send the money from my paypal, to my bank account, where I use it for bills etc.
This is how you normally do it. I can only guess that if you have a whopping FIFTY(50) commissions outstanding right now? That means you've most likely taken the money, spent it, gotten lazy with your commissions, realized you're running low on cash, and done this whole song and dance all over again, who knows how many dozens of times over to get that long a queue, with no earthly clue on how to fix it, other than providing even 'more' art for 'more' commissioners, which, given your trend, will probably result in an even longer queue?

I think you've truly and irrevocably dug yourself into a hole there's no means of getting out of without simply finding a secondary source of income and working your way through the commissions you owe until you're back on track, and if that isn't possible, then I truly have no solution in mind for you.

But I can guarantee one thing. Fighting fire with fire isn't gonna do you any favors here. The only foreseeable outcome of this plan is that either
1) you overwork yourself over the next 2.5-3 weeks streaming and fling yourself back into another 'breakdown that needs meds'. No dear, that's called stress. I don't think pulling the 'muh emotional instability!' card is gonna do you any favors.
2) You extend your queue even further when you realize ahead of time that you're not gonna be able to last up to 21 days of constant Iron Artistry(that's the term for it, actually.), which is only going to put even more people into the never-ending hold queue.


I expect you probably only want to hear the uplifting 'YOU CAN DO IT!' comments, but honestly, sometimes, those stop being helpful, and end up just becoming proverbial ass kissing. I get you're the popular artist type, but that really doesn't immunize you from getting a swift and reality on-setting kick in the ass rather than being told how it's no big deal cause dat watcher number. So before you decide to block me in a fit of enraged hurt pride about me potentially hitting the nail on the metaphorical head with this, consider that I may be speaking like this to give you a fresh perspective that doesn't smell like the nose of one of your fans who's too buried in your ass to see anything but trying to get on your good side by saying everything you 'WANT' to hear, but not what you 'NEED' to hear.

I also expect some backlash from all of the white knights out there who can't stomach seeing someone taking off the satin gloves and actually serving a dish of pure, unbridled honesty, served ice-cold. So before 'you' decide to take my previously expected outcome of this, let me make my final point: I'm talking to lost-paw. Not you. I don't care about your reactions. Your best, and least time-wasted course of action(because I will most certainly not read any of your replies), is blocking me.

This right here.
Not enough people telling it like it is.

It is utterly unacceptable to have 50 outstanding commissions and to be taking on further commissions.

This journal is a clear plea for a guilty conscience to be cleared to give the go ahead from people who are not even involved.

Your comment may be harsh, but as a freelance artist myself, I 100% agree with what you're saying here.
I hope Lost-Paw sees this comment as help and advice rather than that of hatred.

Fair, yes, but keep in mind the usual skill set and employment options of a freelance artist. Assuming they spend two to three hours an image as they stream, the hourly rate they pull is going to outstrip any likely other income source they can work on.

Their 'stream only' images rather than commission queue is a secondary funding source compared to commissions, and hopefully will be able to keep lost going until they clear that backlog,

Because, frankly, what's the real difference between working at a shop rather than working commissions or working at their desk? Both are jobs and work not of the kind they have stacked up and both postpone the eventual completion of their queue by needing to sink hours in, in order to get paid. I can understand the sensitivity that the work they're doing is the same kind of work as their outstanding commissions, but it's fundamentally no different to going and flipping burgers. It's just liable to pay better if they charge and pace themselves properly.


I agree with much of what you said, I just think you're overlooking that your very 'advice' is basically exactly what they're doing. There's no shortage of ability to overwork themselves at a desk job if they're doing commissions in the same daily hours compared to stream commissions, both are jobs with hours and money involved at the end of it.

Well said. Too bad very few people share your opinion about the situation, most of them all are 'It's okay, you can do it, we can wait!'. It's one thing to have five or ten outstanding commissions. Having 50 is totally fucked up. This is pretty much what's wrong with the fandom; it's nothing more than a hugbox and people are willing to forgive for waaaaay too many things, even if it actually cost them money.

ya know, thank you. a lot of people may try to pull the "why would you say that she is vulnerable" type comment but this post is filled with incredibly useful and very well written advice. Ive owned up to my fuck ups and yeah i have to fix them and live with them. I do have mental problems but that is no excuse and im not trying to make it an excuse so please forgive me if it came off that way.

I have simply put myself in a position that I could not support taking on more then I thought I could handle. Yes im in one hell of a hole but when im out of it this post is going to be some invaluable advice to avoid any future problems.

YOU have your shit together and honestly I look up to that and you for your honesty and your business practice. this post has inspired me to in a sense prove you wrong but not to say "haha told you so" but to show that I have the grit to do it for myself.


over all, i just wanted to say thank you for taking the time to write this in a non malicious way with some real advice and perspective i greatly appreciate the honesty. There isn't enough of that out there these days.

Please, by all means, prove me wrong! In doing so, you will be in a better position, more people will get the art they seek and you will get the money you need, and subsequently lower your stress level.
So yes, I want to be wrong about you!

You're most welcome, and I'm glad I could help, and the fact that you could see past the brutal honesty and take it to heart without taking offense just goes to show you're a sincere person.

I root for very few people. But I'm rooting for you. Watched. ♡

thank you so much. the brutal honesty is exactly what i needed its nice to hear well wishes but someone who puts some real though and real feelings into their words really helps to psh me into what needs to be done and only inspires me further.

thank you so much again especially for rooting for me <3 (and the watch eeeee <333)

Hang in there Lost! You've made it this far, you can see it though. Easier said than done, but it's still doable! Being honest and transparent about this issue is a good step. Just keep at it!

i know with this overwhelming support i can do this :3

Exactly!!! :D

Hey Lostpaw. I know I have never personally reached out to you for a commission or anything, and you'll receive a lot of back and forth over this.

I have been an anxiety territory before and I get it. It sucks and mixing that in with any kind of depression makes anyone out for the count. I'm proud of you for being able to open yourself like that, it's really difficult to do and not many understand.

I'm worried for you. Taking on commissions like this is going into Falvie territory; and what I mean by that is she is a widely recognized artist but bites more than she can chew regularly. I don't want to see that happen with you.

You will probably receive much more inspirational and motivating messages, but I wanted to let you know, that even us lurkers who love your art, are here supporting you.

PS: take what everyone says in the end with a grain of salt. Don't let one comment over rule the others. Yes most mean well, but anxiety has a nasty habit of causing you to over think or focus on something, some times even the good stuff.

Wishing you all the best,
Silvers

Yeah i was looking at my trello the other day and said to myself exactly that "I'm falling into falvie territory" and i need to fix that i need to go back to the old lost paw that everyone trusted the one with the quick turn arounds. and quality art work. that thats exactly what is going to happen here. I'm going to get this done and im not going to let anyone get me down for this. you all deserve the artist you look up to.

As one of those commissioners, I myself understand and support what steps you need to take to get things right for you. Art and money are not as important to me as your health and well being. So here is at least one who is not upset in anyway. You have been through a lot and you need to do what you need to do.

Whatever comes next may not go easy or smoothly, but stick with it. If you need someone to talk to or vent I would be happy to oblige. I do not know what you have been through, but I do know that things can get better. I can only speak from my own experiences with depression and anxiety and how hard they can be. I also know that seeking help and support from others is helpful. It sounds like a lot if folks here care and support you.

Thank you for sharing. Please hang in there. If the work seems overwhelming and the situation tough, remember you can get through it. Sending lots of love your way.

thank you so much for this. it means a lot to hear from someone who got sucked into this hole caused by me and my mistakes. im glad to know that even now you have my back through this and it just gives me more and more grit to get this done and done right! I promise i wont let you down !!! 07

You're welcome and you don't need to worry about letting me down. Take it one step at a time. Do your best but be sure to take time to relax and breath as well. You have my support no matter what. My ear and mind is open if you ever need it.

Noted you about a possible donation opportunity. <3

i read and responded but still thank you so much for those amazingly kind words. you are an angel

Hey! You're worth the wait so lack of progress updates is fine, especially if giving them would cause you anxiety.

And take those in-stream comms if you need to I'm sure that those will sell, you're a very talented gal~

thank you so much for the support. this plan may not be pretty or a walk in the park but im going to do it and im going to do it right. so thank you so much for this support every voice matters and every voice helps me feel a little bit more confident in myself <3

It's honestly trash af to take more commissions on when you have 50 people already waiting.

Bud, really? Yes, it isn't ideal to have that many commissions in a pile, but come on, Lost is already quite vulnerable, despite your beliefs.

So, would you kindly take your negative comments from here and go to your nearest trash dump? I think the rate today is... oh? It's just the right price for you, and it says 'One mean and poorly timed comment'


But in all seriousness, nobody has time for that shit.

I suggest you read my comment above for some perspective. While I don't condone this guy's way of putting it, when it all boils down, he's right.

I have, and you are right with what you have said, and actually put it in the best way possible to show one's faults... but that guy really doesn't seem to know how to put a certain situation into a nicer way of being 'mean'(?).

You are right it is Trash as fuck to take the time to do in stream commissions. While i have outstanding commissions as well. I could spout how i wish that i did things diffrently or how i wish that i did xy or z but the fact is i fucked up. Im owning that and im going to get all of this straightened out the right way. I'm not going to play the victim card or try to blame my Ptsd for this because thats a stupid cop out. I will get this done the right way to prove to even YOU that im not some trashy money hungry whore.

I know this comment wasn't meant to inspire it was meant to hurt but thank you for taking the time to be honest and speak your mind. even that shows that you care maybe not about me but about the same thing I care about, the commissioners i sucked into this whole i dug.

so i want to say thank you for this comment

As I scroll down to meet the square on where to type I realise my text will add to all the other kind words already given. And I know this for certain: you've got a very patient and forgiving fan base that prefers your health far above the outstanding commissions some of them might have.

And I'll add to that that you should plan only the most important things ahead, and treat the rest on a day by day basis. As you've set quite some ambicious goals for yourself: don't be afraid to tune them down a bit, if only for your own safety.
I personally wish you the best of luck and really hope the gift you have keeps on giving, and that you can gain some energy from all this love and enjoyment people here have for you. I'd even go so far as to suggest you should do a few commissions less per day, like 1 or 2, and then after a few days look if you can handle more.
Good luck.

thank you for the advice i will defineately take that into account if i feel like my goal here has been a bit too much to chew. but that being said, i feel like i can do it. Actually I know I can i have all of you dedicated and kind people backing me up and im going to make you all proud.

Know that most already are proud. Think of your health first, everything else second. Just be sure to know what the factors are that make up your health, both mentally and physically.
Other than that I'll be keeping a mindful eye on your future journals and will probably simply enjoy your submissions. :) Stay safe and warm.

I do agree with other people that taking on more commissions on top of what you already owe, certainly raises concern not only for the people who are already waiting, but also on yourself and the load you're putting on which is already giving you problems. But, perhaps there's a way to make it work.

Might I suggest that you finish at least one progressed/owed commission in stream (start with the ones with the most progress done), and then take a sketch commish or two in the stream after this main commission is done? That way you're taking it a step at a time with getting owed work out, and it would take off some of the guilt in taking these sketches.
Unless you intend to refund people, then my suggestion's kinda moot. :9

But really, I hope the situation gets better for you soon! ;_;

The whole reason I have set this up the way i have is because I want to take the time needed to give those who have stuck with me through this the quality work that they deserve. by clearing out my expenses for a few months ill be able to give this great quality work that everyone deserves. I could easily just pump out the commissions with no regard to quality but that isnt how i want to solve this problem for obvious reasons stated before.

anyways off of that tangent thank you so much for the time it took to write that out and thank you for your support

Not saying you necessarily need to finish them in the stream, but doing a tiny bit of the older work here and there in between the sketch streams will already mean progress for you. What if one day you get tired of doing the sketch streams and want to use one of the other commissions you have to relax, or to do another stage of work, eg painting?

That way you're not skipping on the quality, people know for sure that you're providing visual proof of you taking care of older business (even if it's baby steps, it's better to show your actions rather than for pepole to depend on your words alone), AND this is also trickling the process, which is always better than nothing. Not only that, but you're also keeping your mind fresh and lowering risk of burning out from doing nothing but sketches for such a long period.

You are lucky to have some commissioners who are being so patient and forgiving, and in my opinion I feel like you should do whatever you can to reassure them that you're not just another artist avoiding responsibility. Of course, you've taken the first step in making them aware of what's been happening with this journal, so good for you in that respect.

And you're welcome. Just trying to offer my two cents on how you can go about solving this. Like some other people have said, you gotta have some leeway for obstacles. Better to be prepared than end up digging yourself in a deeper hole.

OH i actually have been doing that. posting wips of lines and sketches to twitter and what not. until i again let my health slip. bleh i have such a bad habbit of neglecting myslef. thankfully like you said my commissioners are all very kind and caring people and im very fortunate to have such a great community around me. im very lucky in so many ways. and its about damn time i got all this shit together and start to give back to all of you.

There is some legitimate criticism of having to further postpone a product that someone paid for. But freelance artists aren't department stores, there's no fallback for an individual in the way a company can. The people that hammer their fist on the table and demand you do your queue because they're a paying customer are only shooting themselves in the foot in the long run, as well as making your situation worse.


If the only option for you to keep going is to raise funds by putting your queue on hold, that's that. Demanding you don't only means you have to drop out of business and nobody gets anything. Take the time you need, get everything sorted as best as you can, we want to see your work continue (because it is fantastic) and we'll support you as best as we can.


I'll be around, I'll buy something if the chance is there. Stay well.

thank you so much for understanding. I try to reason with everyone saing that i can pump out their commission but there will be a vast sacrifice in quality. they will get a fraction of what they paid for and i just dont feel right in doing that. I want each and every piece to be special, unique and done right for each commissioner. and thats what im trying to do for everyone. not just the commissioners themselves.

thank you for seeing this from my perspective and thank you for having my back <3

please take all the time that you need to stabilize yourself and your economic situation. The furry community understands. Life is more important than a bunch of porn.

thats the plan. after my latest urgent care visit i have got myself stabilized but now its time for me to take on the beast that isnt just my commissions queue but my own personal demons and i know im going to beat it this time. so thank you so much for the comment on this journal it means a lot to me. <3

<3 no problem.

Just remember that mental relaxation is important. No matter how much you want to work on coms to get things done you have to take at least one day a week to relax otherwise you're going to get anxious again, ok? ^^

As a comissioner waiting on art. Id rather not have my slot canceled again. I adore your art style and have been wanting to get something from you forever so to have the chance made my day. Just be careful with this route. I've seen plenty of artists do something like this or similar and it justwinds up going deeper. Jist keep up posted on what's going on and try to not overwork yourself to death.

As someone else who deals with anxiety and the like i can see where you are coming from. Dont relay fully on your meds. They should just be a aid ro get ya through the day. Ultimately you can work through it all and overcome. <3 i really do hope this plan works out for ya.

Just keep your comissioners in the light and up to date

Wow hi im not awake yet. Sorry for that garbage english

thank you so much for that comment. I wish i didnt need meds for my PTSD but life handed me quite the shit hand of genetics and experiences. but im not going to let that effect everyone else. Ive spent years getting the right balance to become a "normal" person and im going to show everyone im capable of so much more then they think.
"

sorry to hear you're going through all this stuff. hopefully people don't value digital furry porn over a person's well being.
Here for you as always if you need it paw

thank you wrinkly!!

I know we kinda drifted apart during these last few months, but i'll still be there on skype/discord or twitter

You can do it!

Having a plan and working through it's the best thing you can do. Wishing you the best of luck (and hoping I can drop by the streams now and then)!

thank you ahst you've always had my back through the rough times <3

You have all my support!!!

thank you so much ;;!!!!!! all of this support means so much to me I wont let you down!

You situation does sound dire. But you generally have our support as well as some decent criticism. So how about a couple of suggestions to better you plan instead?

First, you need to talk directly to all the commissioners your owe work to, and get the ok from them. If they decide they still want it, then you need to see how long they're willing to wait, and then reorganize your backlog list to do those in order of the ones that gave the shortest time limit. If they want to cancel and get a refund then you need to either pay back the individual who paid the most or the individuals who paid the least, whichever works best for you. If they want to cancel but are willing to donate their commission funds to help you out, then just make sure to have a note on the type of commission they wanted and give it to them as a "gift" when your situation isn't as dire.

Second, you need to plan for your situation working out in the worst possible way. It sounds like you could lose your house, so you need to make plans on how to keep tackling commissions as well as secure your situation, being homeless and without any way to fulfill your commissions and such isn't going to help anyone, so making sure you have a way to at least tackle your backlog and get it done is soemthign to do. Even if you art output is drastically reduced your old commissioners will be thankful you're making efforts at fulfilling your obligation to them.

Third you need to be smart about taking these new commissions on. Like how many commissions can you do within a week? If I (for easy reckoning) assume 10, then you need to only take on 5 new commissions to tie yourself over during this troubling period, and tackle 5 of your 50 or so already owed commissions. This will allow you to both get yourself some financial earning as well as help reduce your backlog more and more.

Forth, you need to be willing to accept our kindness and support. So post your "PayPal.Me" link and let us choose to just give you money to help you out. Some of us are willing to do so. Word of advice about this is to first spend that money on refunds, which helps further relieve your responsibility to your owed commissioners and will alleviate some of your stress. Sure people might not give you anything, but by giving us the option those that want to help, will do what they can. And even those that can't will offer words of encouragement and their emotional support which at times can be a far greater Godsend than financial aid.

Fifth, you need to keep the honesty of your situation and regular communication with us all going. The worst thing to do is become unreachable, as that just paints a negative picture not just for you but to all those that show up in the future with eerily similar artists, whose style is far too close for comfort to some.

Sixth, you need to know we're on your side, as long as your open and honest with us. If you situations forces you to reduce the amount of commissions your taking we understand and will be patient as long as you are upfront with us. We get that your situation isn't just physical but also mental and emotional and as such will make things far more difficult than if it was just one of the three. So long as you keep being open with us, continue to accept responsibility and do what's right by your commissioner both old and new, we'll ahve you back.

I hope that helps.

And if any of your old commissioners pop on here reading this then the one thing they need to know is so long as you are reasonable, honest and open a bit of patience isn't too much to ask for...I mean it's not like you're asking them to wait 20 years for a sketch that takes you 20 minutes. And remember that if they feel so inclined as to post a comment on your profile about how long they've been waiting for a commission from you then the least they can do when it or a refund are received is post a comment alluding to such (and on that topic Lost, don't hide or remove those comments that would be a very shifty move).The same is true of things like Artist Beware, if they decided to post an entry on there about you, then the least they can do is make sure that when the issue is resolved to make sure it's marked as resolved.

And Finally, Lost. Dont' beat yourself up about this too much. We all make mistakes. It's what we learn from them that's important, and how such lessons help us grow. I hope you've learned not to take on more than you can handle no matter how tempting it might be. If you have then I'm sure once all your outstanding commissions are resolved, that everyone will forgive you. All we ask is that you do your best.

^ If I could favorite comments I would. This is very supportive as well as good criticism. I appreciate and respect comments like this.

^ this i agree 100%

wow, just wow, this is such a well thought out and amazing comment that i cherish. I appreciate the time you took for this beyond my ability to show. all of these things i will take into account and act on to help with this situation i've put myself in. so thank you so much for the time it took and the thought you put into this. i wish i had a more eloquent way to say thank you but you know me ive never been great with words haha.

Best of luck in clearing all of this up, I'll be here to support you if you ever need it!

you know it curi ! I got everyone here backing me up and my friends like you there for me. This will be a thing of the past come summer and hopefully ill make you proud.

Hmm. Random ass bystander here, but maybe I could suggest some alternatives...?

When dealing with mental-illness and the stress of being an artist, procrastination and having an outstanding queue can be nightmarish; i def feel you.
It's good you wanna make it right, and you're trying to be upfront about how you're doing.
What you should consider is breaking it down into simpler tasks, chunks you can deal with to avoid burnout. You have a backlog, but it's manageable!

First, you should contact each of your commissioners and see if they still even want the work. Make a list of who wants what still & who needs a refund.
It's rough, but I'm sure there's ppl that would rather a refund, and it would cut your queue down.

Next, I recommend actually picking work hours. Don't just force yourself to sit there and draw until you're dead, that won't help anyone.
Do not overestimate yourself, try to think realistically about what you can do. If you can handle a Mon-Fri thing, do that. If you're a morning bird, do a 8-12 shift,
maybe take a break, then work another 4 if you can. Just pace yourself.

Obs there's difficulty here bc there's an immediate need for money which makes the need for more work pressing, so I don't think sketchstreams are too bad an idea.
But I think you should balance your work week with taking new stuff vs. working on old stuff. Maybe pick days to work on owed art? You can do it assembly line style-
Get all the commissions sketched in batches, then inked (if you ink), then colored. Sketch days, color days, etc. might help deal with burnout.

You can do premade stuff and try selling- ppl like adopt designs, it can be a fun way to do creative stuff for yourself and still make a profit.
Also consider making ref sheet templates. Seriously. There are furries on a budget that would love just marking/color refs- you could make lineart
for the most common species and so quick flats for cheap. Low stress, easy to churn out.

I will defineately take this into account as i begin my journy to climb out to of this hole! thank you so much for the time and thought put into this comment. its filled with so much valuable info. I'm going to be sure to get this done right !

:> Glad I can help, good luck. Just take it one day at a time.

Also, if it helps keeping that perfectionist streak in check, just remember that what's most important is you just finish the work to the best of your ability.
What matters most is getting out a consistent product- if you hit a stumbling block do the best you can and make a note to study whatever you need to
work on later.

Also it might be kinda dickish, but most of your customers aren't going to see the "flaws" you see, they're just happy to get art. Very much a
"holy shit, 2 cakes!" situation, haha. https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C8iP42TXgAAkjRD.jpg
Finish something as best you can. Even if YOU hate it, if the customer's happy you've done your job. It helps to have that attitude sometimes.

haha its true but in my mind i just feel like the commissioner and you guys deserve the best i can produce.

So basically you have taken more than you can chew and now you're struggling. This isn't surprising at all. What is surprising is that you apparently did not learn from the many artists on FA who fell into the same trap, always taking extra commissions, taking the money for them but never finishing them only to find themselves in a bad financial spot. Full circle. Almost every single one of them ended up with a similar journal, citing medications, depression and other stuff. As Prince_Vaxis above said, it's not depression, it's stress. Yes, there are plenty of things that can happen unexpectedly where you need the money yesterday but there are also plenty of examples of artists not managing their time and money. Sad to see you are now one of those examples.

I don't care about the white knights who are going to berate and insult me for saying this (come at me bro!) but it's the cold, hard truth which is infinitely better than a hundred lies: you fucked up and chances are most of it is your fault. Not all, but most. You do have 50 outstanding commissions, after all. Don't spend your money before you get it or this happens. So basically now you're going to stream your new commissions and pump them out on the same day....sounds to me that their quality will likely suffer because not only are you in stress but also have a time limit. You know what they say about fast and cheap work.

I do wish you some luck but you're going to need more than just luck to get out of this hole. Don't take me wrong, I've been there before myself. It was a wake up call and a call to start organizing my workload and time better (used to do some web development and general IT stuff), take notes of what I have to do on a given day and focus on it. It ain't easy but it took a big weight off my shoulders.

Since you did not learn from the mistakes other artists made, maybe you will learn from yours. Oh, and if any of those 50 clients criticize you for making them wait so long? Unlike what most people above say, they have every right to do so. They paid you for art and you did not deliver. It's standard consumer stuff.

Very well put

i agree with you entirely. and you're not wrong in saying any of this. I know it may seem like i think i have depression caused by this but thats not the case i have been since i was a child. and thats not an excuse and its not the reason im in this hole. I did this to myself and to others. and IM going to fix it in a way that will both give those commissioners the quality they are entitled to! just bare with me and ill prove to you im not like the others. mental illness, ptsd, all of that is no excuse for what I did consciously. I'm not proud of myself for doing it but i am owning it.

so thankyou for taking the time to be blunt and honest. I know this wasn't a post made to help inspire me or motivate me and im not sure its a post to hurt me either but either way im taking this as something as a challenge to prove to you that im not like the other and that i can do this.

So,

I was a bit iffy on writing this comment at first since I'm one of those people who's seen how the massive amount of outstanding commissions has affected you and definitely seen the sting of how stress has hurt artists before. Being one of those commissioners and such however I feel like I should give my say in this since it's only fair.

Personally, I've been waiting quite awhile and waiting a bit longer doesn't bother me. However the thought of taking on more commissions when being 50 deep is a bit...worry-some, even with them only being instream commissions and so I recommend a bit of caution with that as while I have a lot of patience and i'm sure many other commissioners do, there is going to be just as many out there who are going to be REALLY upset and I'd say you should reach out to those [especially those who have the higher end cost commissions] and let them know what's going on personally.]

I'm going to recommend taking care of yourself before dealing with art, but no matter what you do, whether you stick to this plan or change to something else. Let us know what you're doing. From my end, radio silence causes a lot of stress as to what's going on and there has been far too many artists who in situations like this will literally skip town and run with money and I don't think anyone wants to see you become another one of those artists [Especially me since I really like your art.]

All in all, take care of yourself and I really hope you can dig yourself out of this Rut. Be careful with this plan if you go through with it and stay transparent. It's all I can really say over here.

thats the plan. 100% transparency. Im not going to hide a goddamn thing even though plenty of people advised me to keep some of those numbers hidden. the main reason im doing what im doing is quality. I want you and everyone else to get exactly what they paid for and even more for the wait they have had to suffer through. because that is simply unacceptable. I'm going to be walking a very very fine line for a while here but when its all said and done ill have proved myself as someone who doesnt back down from the face of my own mistakes. its time for me to take charge and beat this that has me haunting me my whole life.

I wish you good luck with the backlog. I hope you won't dig yourself deeper down.
And probably end up like Swizzlesticks :7
I've noticed a lot of the advises you've gotten and I really hope you'll go for Haru_Totetsu 's.
I wish you the best.

thank you so much for the well wishes i wont let you down!!!

I am very impressed by the way you handled the people who were being "brutally honest" and those who were just trying to be "brutal" Given the way you are taking the time to respond to the people who comment on your journal, as well as the determination that you are showing to make things right for your commissioners, you have earned a decent chunk of respect from me. I will keep an eye out for your streams and look forward to seeing you rise above the struggles. You have many people who believe in you and wish you the best. Do not be afraid to take a personal day or two when the struggles start to weigh on you. Take care of yourself!

ill be sure to keep a look out for myself for everyone. to be honest its my greatest faults. i let my health slip very easily when i try to put others first. idk ill try my best to keep a better eye on my own health. thank you for reminding me this. <3

I'm not a commissioner and I won't be, but to me your plan on how to complete your backlog sound well reasoned to me.
If people have waited this long, I expect they are okay with waiting a few more days and seeing the streams because they know why you are doing it.
Never doubt the value of clear communication.

You could also offer anyone who has an outstanding commission without much work done on it to have the amount they paid translated to stream sketches. They get art faster and you get a past-due commission off your list.

Yes! Anyone who asks I'm more then happy to accommodate in anyway I can !

Let's keep things simple.

Can't draw on an empty stomach.

Nobody knows your life better than you do.

Do take good care of yourself Lost, love yourself more and be your own 'bestest' of best friends, because you can!

The best personal care nurtures good character which nurtures healthy expectations of yourself and how the world sees you.

Take a break once in a while, but remember to get back up on your feet to progress.

Stay positive, always.

Thank you durgon <3

Yuy! <3

Stand firm, lost-paw! Or you could take a break, because it sounds like you need it.

I got this >:3 thank youuuuuuu

I think this is a good plan. I am still new to your art and commissioning you, and I really feel like your art is very special. I mean that in a serious way. There is a lot of good art in the fandom these days, but there is something about yours that compelled me to want a commission. This talent you have is very important, and I was happy to put in my contribution to see something special from you. I can tell that you care a lot about your art. If you didnt, you wouldn't feel anxious. You put such great effort and attention to detail into it. I haven't seen anything from you that looked half way. Even just the line work is very beautiful.

I am glad you are doing this plan. It will keep you drawing, and allow you to keep building yourself with solid emotions as well as talent. I don't mind waiting. I am already a believer in what you are doing so I'll be happy to see you continuing to create and with the knowledge that you are able to pay bills and eat. You have my support!

God you are such a sweetie ;; thank you so much for those amazing words it means so much to hear . Quality over quantity that's how I live. But mainly I want each and every piece to be worth every penny you have spent on the commission.

You can do this. I believe in you. Keep your head up and stay confident in your ability.

hey lost,
Since we spoke a few times here and there imma say it here too as well. you are super chill and keep at the amazing job you do.
My slot dont push it ok! worry about others first. its your health not mine on the line. Im in no rush and if ya need to vent or something you know where to find me
Alright big guy

I may not have gotten any commissions from you but I understand the situation you're in quite well... not so much with art (since I can't draw) but I'm living paycheck to paycheck myself, and have to do things I don't like doing to make ends meet. Stay strong

I'm kind of late here but I got into a rough patch and owed a handful of commissions myself, and took so long that the commissioners are no longer interested or have vanished-- so I can't refund them now. It's a thing, but what I'm getting at is I totally get where you're coming from. And this is a tricky situation!

My recommendation is that, you need to find a balance between new and old commissions. If you are taking on new commissions, I would recommend doing these same-day in-stream and then at least using some of the money to slowly refund your old commissioners while still spending money on your own needs. This may seem unfair to your old commissioners but lets face it, bigger projects in the amount of 50+ is an incredible pile of work to be done and can't possibly be good for your mental health. I would contact your oldest commissioners (as in those who have waited the longest) and either negotiate some smaller, as-is drawings that don't require sending tons of drafts but still give them their money's worth, or see if they'd like to be just refunded instead. Then perhaps you can work on these smaller drawings through the week and worry about them less than you would a full-blown commission. Or maybe negotiate a smaller/easier drawing and a partial refund combo, so they get a picture in the end and some extra money back for their wait.

I know funds are tight and times are rough right now, but I don't think completely avoiding your older commissions will help your mental health in the long-run. I see already in the comments that you have commissioners that are already more than happy to wait for you and I'm sure there's many of them that would be happy to negotiate something easier on you either way. And I totally get wanting to wait and make sure your patient commissioners get the best you can do for them, but sometimes your best is just what's best for you!

So I would say that I have seen jailbird do the same thing... and I paid for a commission from her and its been 2 years almost 3 since I've seen or heard anything. The key to prevent the people that have paid for their commissions already from getting upset is communication. I recommend posting some sort of post that shows your commission Que and possible progress so people can see that you are making progress. I know at the moment you wont be able to progress on these commissions since you have to take care of you first and that's okay. Most of us are calm and fine and willing to wait for such great art. However ignoring the commission Que and not communicating with us and showing no progress in your Que line will start to upset people like it did for jailbird. I hope everything gets better for you and everything works out for you but organization and communication is how you will be able to fix this.

Now I am not happy that I have ended up once again on the side burner because of biting off more than one can chew, but it's fine and I'm willing to wait. If I end up getting ignored like jailbird did to me my patience will disappear, but thank you for being so honest with us and actually communicating. I don't want this comment to be taken as rude or anything its just that I have been put on the back burner before and ignored and I'm worried of it happening again.

Hey there lostpaw! Its been about a month since you posted this and I just want to know if everything going okay? Just checking in to make sure you're alright. I hope that everything is working out well. Lots of love and support to ya. :)

As a person whom has worked in the food business for about a decade now, I know a few things about monumental tasks, making people wait, and huge demand. I feel like the best way to take on massive back logs is to organize them firstly in an order in which works for you, like I want *this one* done first before these. This part is probably the most difficult. At least for me. After I do that, I shrink down to just looking at the first few on my list. I pretty much pretend the others don't exist. My whole world exists on just those three or four tickets. They, by themselves, aren't much of a big task. Certainly, they're work, but I can get em done. Before ya know it, I'm onto the next batch. Eventually I take a look at the clock and several hours have gone by, and I've shrunk down my to-do tables to nil.

Of course, I'm sure art is more difficult than a piece of steak or fried chicken, but I think it's a good analogy here. Maybe shrinking down your to do list to just batches of five would be helpful? Give yourself a goal for date of completion and get excited about reaching it. Compete with yourself batch to batch, saying, I bet I can knock this batch out way faster than I did that last one. Before ya know it, you'll go to look at your backlog and be like, "What the hell, I thought I had more people to finish up for, did I really do all that, that fast?"

I hope that helps! I've been in situations where this method helped out immensely. Hungry people that have been waiting for an hour or more for food are kinda scary, so I can definitely empathize with you there. I believe in ya though! You can do eeeeeeeeeeet! <3