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This dark, dark mood
8 years ago
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★[center]❤Hello Gorgeous~❤
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★[center]❤Hello Gorgeous~❤
You ever been in that weird, dark mood where you just kinda want... nothing-ness?
It's not quite depression. It's not really anger. It's not even hopelessness. You know you have things to do, responsibilities and overall just things to finish. You know that things are about to get better once you can get over that scary hump of quitting your current job to move on to the next. The next job is completely set, but you're terrified of telling your current bosses about it. But even still, you're not actually feeling the fear.
You know you should bathe because you want to and you probably need to. You know that after you bathe, you should sleep because you have work tomorrow. And yet, you want to do neither. You want to just sit there and stare off into the void in hopes that somehow this will slow time down and make tomorrow fail to come.
It's not even a feeling of really wanting everything to end. It's just.. the feeling of wanting it to slow to a grinding halt and just... give you a minute to catch up. Like it all went so fast that your mind and your feelings somehow got left behind. But at the same time, it all came out of nowhere. Because just too hours ago you were feeling everything completely normally. Or at least, as 'normal' as you usually feel things.
I don't really know what this is or why I'm feeling this way. Honestly it's just.. it's weird and I don't really know how to deal with it. I feel like I can see the sunshine up ahead down the bright path I seem to be taking, but I can't make myself feel any of that sun's warmth.
Hopefully when I wake up in the morning, this hazy funk is gone and I can just bring myself to do the things I know I need to do.
It's not quite depression. It's not really anger. It's not even hopelessness. You know you have things to do, responsibilities and overall just things to finish. You know that things are about to get better once you can get over that scary hump of quitting your current job to move on to the next. The next job is completely set, but you're terrified of telling your current bosses about it. But even still, you're not actually feeling the fear.
You know you should bathe because you want to and you probably need to. You know that after you bathe, you should sleep because you have work tomorrow. And yet, you want to do neither. You want to just sit there and stare off into the void in hopes that somehow this will slow time down and make tomorrow fail to come.
It's not even a feeling of really wanting everything to end. It's just.. the feeling of wanting it to slow to a grinding halt and just... give you a minute to catch up. Like it all went so fast that your mind and your feelings somehow got left behind. But at the same time, it all came out of nowhere. Because just too hours ago you were feeling everything completely normally. Or at least, as 'normal' as you usually feel things.
I don't really know what this is or why I'm feeling this way. Honestly it's just.. it's weird and I don't really know how to deal with it. I feel like I can see the sunshine up ahead down the bright path I seem to be taking, but I can't make myself feel any of that sun's warmth.
Hopefully when I wake up in the morning, this hazy funk is gone and I can just bring myself to do the things I know I need to do.
I completely understand how you're feeling, I'm in a similar boat myself. Things aren't a total loss and there's always comfort in the hope they'll get better, but that still dosen't help how overwhelming it can be in the moment ;;
You're such a strong, fantastic person though, and I absolutely believe in you! I hope whenever everything comes into place you'll feel better but in the mean time by all means feel free to hit me up if you need to vent or even just want someone to talk to. I'm totes here for ya!
I didn't really wanna worry anyone but I just kinda felt like I needed to word-vomit somewhere, you know?
Worst part is, someone offered to take my shift for me today just out of nowhere, and even though I really wanted to let them take it, I need to go in so my favorite manager can help me put in m two weeks notice. So I was like: FFFFF Why did you ask me TODAY? Why couldn't you ask me tomorrow?
lol