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8 years ago
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Sometimes you just have to stand back and review all you've been working for and ask if it's worth it all. My biggest resolution for 2017 was to love my art again and I just haven't found it yet. All I ever do is sketch anymore, and take forever on commissions bc I just...don't like anything I do anymore? It's discouraging to see friends and fellow artists get praise and improve so drastically- yet here I am, finding it hard to pick up my pen or even get out of bed at this point. I'm so proud of them, I'm proud of anyone that works hard on what they love. But what happens when I'm working on what I just don't love anymore...?
I want to love my art again. I want to be proud of my stuff again for more than just a few hours. I want so desperately to find joy in art and have it as a job, not just a chore to do to pay bills. I want people to be in love with the stuff I draw them again...I selfishly want to be on lists of favorite artists...I just want to see my hard work pay off.
But despite friends telling me they love my art I can't convince myself... That kid that longed to see art books of Silent Hill and Final Fantasy games and dreamed to draw for games just like them would be heartbroken to see where they are at 22. All I've done is fill myself with doubt while my old classmates have their art in galleries and have this sense of pride that I worry I'll never see again... And yet I continue to struggle and not learn. What am I doing wrong? And if I were to change up how I draw who would stay with me to see it...? Or maybe it would be ultimately better than what I've been working so hard on these past few years.
They say you'll be at many losses in your 20s that you'll grow from but no one ever told me they'd be this insanely difficult to pick up and carry on from.
I'm working on owed art. Slowly, but surely. Sorry it's taking so long, I really am. I just want to be proud of it all again. I want to inspire again...
Already posted this on instagram but might as well post here to kinda explain my constant inactivity.
tl;dr I fucking hate my art and I'm at a loss so its also made me extremely reclusive. Cant even get myself to talk to any friends lately...for months. I'm unsure of what to do now...
I want to love my art again. I want to be proud of my stuff again for more than just a few hours. I want so desperately to find joy in art and have it as a job, not just a chore to do to pay bills. I want people to be in love with the stuff I draw them again...I selfishly want to be on lists of favorite artists...I just want to see my hard work pay off.
But despite friends telling me they love my art I can't convince myself... That kid that longed to see art books of Silent Hill and Final Fantasy games and dreamed to draw for games just like them would be heartbroken to see where they are at 22. All I've done is fill myself with doubt while my old classmates have their art in galleries and have this sense of pride that I worry I'll never see again... And yet I continue to struggle and not learn. What am I doing wrong? And if I were to change up how I draw who would stay with me to see it...? Or maybe it would be ultimately better than what I've been working so hard on these past few years.
They say you'll be at many losses in your 20s that you'll grow from but no one ever told me they'd be this insanely difficult to pick up and carry on from.
I'm working on owed art. Slowly, but surely. Sorry it's taking so long, I really am. I just want to be proud of it all again. I want to inspire again...
Already posted this on instagram but might as well post here to kinda explain my constant inactivity.
tl;dr I fucking hate my art and I'm at a loss so its also made me extremely reclusive. Cant even get myself to talk to any friends lately...for months. I'm unsure of what to do now...
Scrib
~scrib
-hugs- I am in the EXACT same boat ; ; so I know how you feel beb, It's been tough, but we'll get through it <3
satiricalArts
~satiricalarts
OP
its been such an emotionally exhausting year tbh ;; i really miss talking to you <3 when i get the energy enough to actually contribute to a conversation im hitting you up on discord so hard ;;; <3
Scrib
~scrib
I'm almost always on c: haha just take your time and take care of you first c:
CaariOsamu
~caariosamu
I understand this feeling all too well, friend, and it is hard to overcome it. But your work is fantastic and I adore it, and I hope you find that spark again! You deserve to love your art, and to have your art loved in turn. Keep up the great work, even if it means just sketching for a while. One day at a time!
satiricalArts
~satiricalarts
OP
That means so much to hear, I looked up to your art so much when we were younger and we met at a small con. Hell, I still think its one of the most beautiful styles and I hope we can meet once again someday ; v; Thank you so much, friend. I'll try my hardest. I hope all's been well with you <3
CaariOsamu
~caariosamu
Aw gosh, sweetheart!! /)w(\ That means so much to me as well!! I do hope we can meet again!! It was such a pleasure, even if it feels like it was a million years ago now! I know you can do it, and I'm so excited to get to see you develop as an artist before my eyes!! Things have been going well, and I hope things have been well for you elsewise, friend!! <3
satiricalArts
~satiricalarts
OP
If you're still in Louisville I'm actually moving back soon and plan to go con hopping again if you still do that too u vu I'd love to talk again! <3 And thank you that truly means a lot to me ; v; <3 And great! I've been kinda up and down but working on making myself stay up for a bit = v=
CaariOsamu
~caariosamu
I am!! :D And that's great! I haven't con hopped in years, but I hope to get back into it soon!! >v< Good!! I'm proud of you, friend!
