I hate being in situations like this. Where I have friends and family that are against one another. More importantly is that I hate people fighting because it leaves me in a sort of situation that I hate. The type of situation where I have choose family or friends. I have people in my life that have influenced me for the better and one of the things that keeps me awake at night is the thought of them turning on me. The thought that someone "used me", "lied to me" or "betrayed me". I just wish everything can be back to normal and no one hates one another. Because it leaves me with this stress and torture of being insecure and being unsure who still loves me or not. Who my true friends are. *slams his fists* I don't wanna have to choose!!!
I should not be able to choose between the people I love. It's not fair. I love everyone equally and I refuse to choose one over the other. I don't want to be insecure about who I am again. I don't want to be insecure about who really loves me and who is lying to me. I just....want things to be back to normal. No more fighting....No more pain....No more choosing.... I need people to understand for one thing that I am not one to be in these situations. I hate every second of it. Why people don't tell me up front that they are using me is beyond me. Why I have to constantly perpetuate about who loves me and who doesn't also stinks. I need people to make it clear that I am here to make lasting friendships, not being used as a puppet.