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On Commissions and My Situation: An Explanation
8 years ago
Hello! Thanks for reading this! As of today, commissions are closed. I know what it says on my page but they're closed rn. Requests and trades are closed too. Why? I don't have my computer. The landlords i begrudgingly call my parents have decided that, despite already talking at me about this, since I'm not doing "my part" in the house, I can't have nice things. Despite me paying to live here and utilities and my phone and car among other things. So I'm basically unable to do anything except post journal updates and reply to notes. Friends have been helping me try to find a really cheap apartment, but I'd still probably need a roommate just so I don't have to scrape by. If I could get out of my situation today, I would, but I can't. The keyboard and power cable for my computer will be held by my male landlord until I "prove myself".
In terms of my mental health, work has been stressful and even though I know it's out of my control, the fact that they're cutting everyone's hours seems like my fault. That's causing my depression to flare up, so I sleep more. Despite me explaining this to them, they are unwilling to understand and are punishing me for napping for an hour or two some days (maybe most days, but not every day). So I'm stressed because things are tense at home, tense at work, and I'm worried about my best friend cuz his roommate, my boyfriend, moved out. Everything is either triggering my depression or anxiety and honestly I tried to get in with my therapist last week but she was gone and booked for all the times I was available. I see her tomorrow at 10am, which I guess is good but it's only like an hour appointment and idk if I'm gonna survive it or be able to tell her all of the things that are bothering me. I have a list but I'm still worried. +10 anxiety.
I understand that yes I haven't been doing all the things I signed I would do in my lease agreement, but they talked to me and I've been doing better this week. Apparently, better within a week is not enough improvement for these people, and therefore punishment. I'm angry and scared and constantly on the verge of tears, and my relationships with everyone are suffering. I feel like I'm just burdening my friends with my problems at this point and it doesn't feel good. Juju and I have been fighting a lot recently and I feel like it's both of our faults but especially mine. I'm more irritable than normal and it's frustrating to both of us.
If you actually read all this, hey thanks. It's a lot and I'm glad you care. Sorry if anyone wanted trades or commissions from me; it's gonna be a while. I'll post something tomorrow regarding how my therapy went and how the situation progresses from there. I love all of you for reading this far and I really appreciate the watches and favorites and stuff. And posting the art I give you; it means the absolute world to me.
Talk soon,
Cookie <3
In terms of my mental health, work has been stressful and even though I know it's out of my control, the fact that they're cutting everyone's hours seems like my fault. That's causing my depression to flare up, so I sleep more. Despite me explaining this to them, they are unwilling to understand and are punishing me for napping for an hour or two some days (maybe most days, but not every day). So I'm stressed because things are tense at home, tense at work, and I'm worried about my best friend cuz his roommate, my boyfriend, moved out. Everything is either triggering my depression or anxiety and honestly I tried to get in with my therapist last week but she was gone and booked for all the times I was available. I see her tomorrow at 10am, which I guess is good but it's only like an hour appointment and idk if I'm gonna survive it or be able to tell her all of the things that are bothering me. I have a list but I'm still worried. +10 anxiety.
I understand that yes I haven't been doing all the things I signed I would do in my lease agreement, but they talked to me and I've been doing better this week. Apparently, better within a week is not enough improvement for these people, and therefore punishment. I'm angry and scared and constantly on the verge of tears, and my relationships with everyone are suffering. I feel like I'm just burdening my friends with my problems at this point and it doesn't feel good. Juju and I have been fighting a lot recently and I feel like it's both of our faults but especially mine. I'm more irritable than normal and it's frustrating to both of us.
If you actually read all this, hey thanks. It's a lot and I'm glad you care. Sorry if anyone wanted trades or commissions from me; it's gonna be a while. I'll post something tomorrow regarding how my therapy went and how the situation progresses from there. I love all of you for reading this far and I really appreciate the watches and favorites and stuff. And posting the art I give you; it means the absolute world to me.
Talk soon,
Cookie <3
