I started feeling pretty bad again, I didn't get enough sleep and food last week so I started getting weak and it apparent affected my mental health... I had a serious suicide attempt and I freaked out.
I'm fine now but I have been struggling with it all weekend, I almost fainted at work and I just couldn't stop crying, I cried every hour, at work, at home, while eating or sleeping, I'm exhausted.
Yesterday I couldn't take it anymore but before doing anything stupid I called the Samaritans (it's a suicide prevention hotline). Not only they helped me calm down but they gave me good advice and they made me call my boyfriend (I hadn't talked to him for few days).
Now I'm at my parents' home and I have mixed feelings about it but at least I'm on holiday and I have time to recover. I'm a mess right now.