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Hey another one of these and whats next.
8 years ago
[Commissions are always open till the spots are not filled on my profile page publicly here or privately in notes feel free to poke for a spot.]________________________________this is a header____________________________________ I should really stop writing these things
{Drama stuff on}
I know people are like probably tired of this sit because hue drama. But this is just I guess a new set of goal with an actual clean head instead offf anything since I know theres now probably a group of people -1 that watches me and judges me for being a shitty person in the distance. If not 1 then more. Lets put one thing out there. I certainly went too far by deleting stuff, saying fuck you and everything but at some way I think it was for the better. While we were friends heee. Gave me too much attention he was good in one way but when it came to actual personal problems he just agreed to everything and sent me to drink alcohol. Alcohol does kind of helps if you are an uni student but not in the long way. He was my right hand and while I sent him away with harsh words in the last one and while I ment what I said to wish him the best, i cant really forget he existed. Mostly because no-one gave me that much attention for this long and... yeah. I just had a special feeling. The whole melt down had to happen sooner or later because of it but could have ended in better conditions. Having a complete "oh hey I'm not happy I choose others and i feel uncomfortable" in a middle of... this kind of griefy feeling is a step closer to suicidal thoughts. I fortunatly did not had those. (Or unfotunately if you are one of them.) He probably want to hear about me right now just as much as I want from him so about nothing. Heck the reason why I deleted the submissions related to him because it almost made me cry every time I seen it. And I knew it will do that to me. I'm just so sad all I can do is almost burst into tears each time I see a fragment of the past that was connected to us. We wont really contact anymore I guess, so of someone wants to in my name tho he is the one has to forgive my complete change, I have to say I forgive everything what he done to me. With the drop and the tickets... and everything. I guess thats what friends do. Which in this concept is... not a concept. In anyway it does give him more time with others.
{Drama off}
Soo whats for the future. As much as I hate to do it I have to massly redesign my little world and story so I can break certain connections that is now in past and probaly stays in the past. That might comes with some character redesign aswell as I might focus something else than endos more. Like non visual digestion and stuff. I enjoyed making that part of that panftr enemy so it would make sense to differentiate from it as it has loads of connection to the past, as well as... I enjoyed so why not more. I also experimented with something more dirty? But I dont think I want to make animated sex... unless I really desprate to make money but I dont think I'll upload it.
In one of my submissions I said like... after that it will be the last I'll make then I'm done. Whiiich will not be the case.
Next week on tuesday it will be decided how my future goes and how much time I'll have. I'll have a really hard test deciding if I have to pay 1000€ per half year for studying or not. Which will come with a necessary job and less time to... well either study or work on art. And since I wont get away with not studying thanks to my family its probably art.
The... profile info also needs overhauling as I... completely destroyed it...
Also 2 Metroid games from nintendo announced within 1 hour?!
That needs to have a song of the day: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=atDxqQiczq4
(I know I'm a few days late but hell I had some depressive days behind me)
{Drama stuff on}
I know people are like probably tired of this sit because hue drama. But this is just I guess a new set of goal with an actual clean head instead offf anything since I know theres now probably a group of people -1 that watches me and judges me for being a shitty person in the distance. If not 1 then more. Lets put one thing out there. I certainly went too far by deleting stuff, saying fuck you and everything but at some way I think it was for the better. While we were friends heee. Gave me too much attention he was good in one way but when it came to actual personal problems he just agreed to everything and sent me to drink alcohol. Alcohol does kind of helps if you are an uni student but not in the long way. He was my right hand and while I sent him away with harsh words in the last one and while I ment what I said to wish him the best, i cant really forget he existed. Mostly because no-one gave me that much attention for this long and... yeah. I just had a special feeling. The whole melt down had to happen sooner or later because of it but could have ended in better conditions. Having a complete "oh hey I'm not happy I choose others and i feel uncomfortable" in a middle of... this kind of griefy feeling is a step closer to suicidal thoughts. I fortunatly did not had those. (Or unfotunately if you are one of them.) He probably want to hear about me right now just as much as I want from him so about nothing. Heck the reason why I deleted the submissions related to him because it almost made me cry every time I seen it. And I knew it will do that to me. I'm just so sad all I can do is almost burst into tears each time I see a fragment of the past that was connected to us. We wont really contact anymore I guess, so of someone wants to in my name tho he is the one has to forgive my complete change, I have to say I forgive everything what he done to me. With the drop and the tickets... and everything. I guess thats what friends do. Which in this concept is... not a concept. In anyway it does give him more time with others.
{Drama off}
Soo whats for the future. As much as I hate to do it I have to massly redesign my little world and story so I can break certain connections that is now in past and probaly stays in the past. That might comes with some character redesign aswell as I might focus something else than endos more. Like non visual digestion and stuff. I enjoyed making that part of that panftr enemy so it would make sense to differentiate from it as it has loads of connection to the past, as well as... I enjoyed so why not more. I also experimented with something more dirty? But I dont think I want to make animated sex... unless I really desprate to make money but I dont think I'll upload it.
In one of my submissions I said like... after that it will be the last I'll make then I'm done. Whiiich will not be the case.
Next week on tuesday it will be decided how my future goes and how much time I'll have. I'll have a really hard test deciding if I have to pay 1000€ per half year for studying or not. Which will come with a necessary job and less time to... well either study or work on art. And since I wont get away with not studying thanks to my family its probably art.
The... profile info also needs overhauling as I... completely destroyed it...
Also 2 Metroid games from nintendo announced within 1 hour?!
That needs to have a song of the day: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=atDxqQiczq4
(I know I'm a few days late but hell I had some depressive days behind me)
Thanks for the words tho.