oh boy this will be a bit of wall of text so prepare yourself if you read it

I'm practically back but not. I wanted to end the hiatus on last Thursday which more or less happened but in the same time it did not. I have lost one our family members and since then I felt quite a bit down and unmotivated did not wanted to say much but I'm sure it will linger and more so considering the funeral will be this friday so everyone ever around me pretty much (well in the family) want to talk about how we will get to this sad event and such obviously not a morale boost. So I spent the last 2 stream times with playing games streaming those, the archive of those as usually is on twitch for a limited time and statically on my youtube channel it's not a well put together channel I'll be 1st to admit that it has some funny moments I had with some games, shadowplays, stream archives, an animation that had to be pre-renderred because I pushed Flash to it's very limits, it's not important.
What is more important is those things along with the fact I failed my tests at uni pushed me to something like a close depressed state. It seems like this second exam period is just a down hill in my emotional state. I get really stressed, I say things I don't necessarily mean, and in some ways I loose myself. If everything goes according to plan I finish with uni in the next year and finally the stress of it will vanish. I mean not necessarily but I heard good things like some of my friends that finished already said something like a bolder was removed from their heads and feel light and happier knowing that they don't have to force themselves to care about these kind of actually quite useless studies anymore.

Among other things it is quite a bit harder when there's a family behind you with 95% of them have no idea how our current time and age an university works, and it's hard to tell them it's not as easy as it was in they time. they came with the useless knowledge to university that they could built upon. When I had my first math class at uni, the teacher went to the table and wrote a bunch of things on the table and then said "this is the way we can prove it" and proceed to write 2 pages of worth of proof for it. And I felt like an idiot not understanding what a mathematical induction is. What is more important is I lost my backing from the country thanks to these "trivial" mathematical solution. My father got fed up with me failing subjects that I actually know. I mean it upsets me too but all it means that I have to get a job that I don't like. And I applied to one that I not gonna like but it's somewhat seems pleasant compared to some other options. It's not really whining about a job because heck I want to work since a good while but I was so unsure during the last 3 years if I would have time for that among studies. But I reached the point where I had 2 days at uni and the rest of the week is practically weekend so I should be more than free to do other things while I'm at uni. But what this means for this page isss... not much actually. I mostly worked on things in my pace and it can be sluggish or quite fast depending on my mood and motivation.
But what it means for my streaming time frame is either It might move to a different time or different day I'll update that once I actually get the job. The application went through I got a call today, but there's a 5% chance that they still say no to it.

Now a bit about the summer...
Not much actually but my summer as for holidays seems to be outlined already quite well for the matter of fact. There's probably only 3 weeks I will take off for myself or 2 and a weekend more like, I will attend to abunai this year again, in the Netherlands, I go to my highschool summer camp to teach C++ and advanced graphics programming (GPU programming if you will) and spending some time with my father for a week or so but some of the down time there will probably be just me making animations.

as for the plan for the next 2-3 weeks I want to empty out my commission list. Not cancelling them but finish them all Most ideally with in 1 week. But I don't personally see that happen that fast All of my clients say take your time, but I actually have a bad stomach feeling at this point and I don't feel it fair towards them for waiting so much. My apologies for taking so long by the way. If I don't get another commission afterwards I start re-newing some rigs and work some other ideas that been around since a while and I just need to get to them.

As for the new possible EU law, I'm actually afraid somewhat. It can destroy quite a few channels on youtube and quite a bit of site content. I don't like it. I like seeing content that people made from some games I like or just stoll a wiki about a game to learn some interesting facts and such. It is dangerous and benefits no-one really. Art and fanworks are practically free advertisements you would rather not silence a community for small people I still try to find the use.

however if things goes wrong and I have to take down and not use certain characters I probably just re-iterate most of them to be different so it's distinguishable but they still try to be what they were. We'll see.. or just scrap them and work with original characters no-one knows about.

okay I done writing I'll try to stream on Friday some art force myself to get back into the ring hopefully. I mean I might still cancel it, if it just too much after the funeral and just try to do some other thing that distracts me completely from the matter.

For those who care have a happy 4th of July. (I don't... care it's not my country or holiday)
The others have a nice day. Sorry for the wall of text.