So life has been nuts for me.

So long ago, found out my cousin had committed suicide. At least that what I was told.
After leaving my Exboyfriend, he outed me to my family to get back at me for leaving him.
My Dad told me to never show my face at the house because I was unwanted for being gay and the plague and such.
Then found the love of my life while dealing with all this.
Not too long ago found out my Dad left my mom because there was too much sin. Me being reason #1. But as well my brother who
married an outsider because he had child with her.
So my Dad is douche as you can see.
Then a couple of days ago just found out my cousin didn't commit suicide rather he was disfellowshipped from our religion and because he showed no interest on coming back his parents kicked him out to the curb "out of love" and was on his own since. While his parents drenched my family with lies. The reason he supposedly killed himself was because he was gay. Turns out no hes straight still. And they told my mom something different. He apparently was so depressed for being exiled he decided to end it.
Nope they're just assholes who couldn't deal with their son turning away from them and just decided to make his existence disappear.

I grew up as a Jehovah Witness in case you're wondering.
Now as I grew up learning about God this is what I understood.
God loves you no matter what. Disappointed yes in choices you may have made but still loved you.
He knew you were imperfect and that's what he's there for. To pick you up when you fall.
It as well it isn't our place to judge others because for every fault we point out is the same number we have in ourselves.
Only God has that right to pass judgment. All we were told to do was spread the word of God and if they don't wish to listen to it then they have to answer to him.

People keep telling me how can I even believe in the Witnesses when my family has done all this. Well because its the people, not the religion.
Just like the extremist out there bombing cities. Or Neo-Nazi believing Jesus is white and not any other ethnicity. It's the people who warp it and bend and making it this God awful mess of shit.

My Grandpa did tell me at one point of time being a Jehovah Witness meant something.
There was a sense of purpose and you treated everyone with love and respect.
But it changed over the years. Why? Because certain followers came into power and twisted into their interpretation of the Bible.

I miss being in a Congregation with all the love and care of the fellow people.
But Religion seems to be tainted with hate and fear that there is no Love for thy Neighbor.
Its judge everyone because different is bad! Its wrong!

I'm sorry about this rant. My life has been a huge mess and don't really have an ear to talk about it.
As well seeing all this hate destroying the world is saddening. They keep blaming Religion for our problems when its the disgusting people who rule. I feel there will be a point where I will have to hide in an attic or get dragged away into a concentration camp.