After much thinking and going over past experience ive come to the conclusion that its better that i remain outside of the larger parts of activity when it comes to the social rings I'm part of, this includes not being in Discord chats/groups and to accept that im not made to be in such places with such people.

I am painfully aware that at times people haven't been sure how to take what ive said or how im being, i come across as cold, or sarcastic or any other such words that generally mean a person is unpleasant to be around. Thats my fault and mine alone. For a while i figured it was because of my situation because of my depression, but thats bullshit. Upon reflection i realize this has been my pattern for god knows how long ive pushed away people for very much the same things that occur now. I become petty, jealous and bitter over stupid things, and because i feel that way i then start to try and make other people feel crap because i do. Its a cycle that ive done over and over and ive pushed close friends away and likly to do the same again.
I made a really good go at not being this person and i think i did rather well for a time but it took such a small thing to make me feel all those feelings again and i just reverted to type.
Its obvious that this is who i am and how i am, and no amount of trying is going to change that because it takes so little for me to go back.
So this is it, i shall remain ever the proverbial lone wolf. I think its better this way its my nature i guess. Of course those of you who have me on the various messengers are welcome to contact me but outside of that im not likly to be around.