So, my friend has come and gone. It started off well. Unfortunately around the end, it went sour. I don't want to go into major details about it, but the gist of it is that there was some miscommunication, misunderstanding and my emotions just got the best of me in areas. I've apologized several times but I' there's only so much an apology can do.

With the recent happenings, I've finally accepted that I can't control my negative emotions. The ones that have caused me issues in the past with the same person, with several other people in my life. The ones that have costed me friendship that I tend to miss every now and then. I can't fight them alone anymore. I need help.

So I've called a doctor today. I have an appointment on Wednesday after work to speak with someone about my emotional issues. I don't know what it is about me that kills me inside. I can't tell if it's depression or anxiety or what. Whatever it is it's costed me so much in my life I don't want to lose more of.

I'll be giving some people some space as well. I might be quiet or distant for a while. I just need a little private time away. I want to be around people, around my friends and talk with them. But I'm afraid of how I'll react at this point. So I'll be around, but I may be off just cause I don't want to say the wrong thing to anyone.

I'm sorry everyone for how I've been.