confusion.
8 years ago
Lonley Fur Blues.
You ever felt lonely? Like the kind of lonliness that depressed people always mention; the kind where you can be in a room full of people and still feel isolated? I feel that. I relate to that. I identify with that kind of lonliness on an otherwordly level.
And sometimes I can't help but believe my lonliness stems from this furry brain of mine. My interest in anthro art, suiting, and especially the odd sexual tension that permeates through everything the fandom touches, causes me great confusion. I can't shake feelings of disgust and self hated and embarrassment. Yet at the same time, i feel like i am on the verge of discovering friends and joyfully finding myself within a set of characters that happen to be animals... And gay. (Sorry dad!)
When you constantly feel like a weirdo and an outcast, sometimes isolating yourself and your thoughts from friends helps life feel less dangerous. In reality, it can hurt.
I don't think anyone will really see this bit of rambling. It might not be the best place to publish it either, who knows. I saw the word journal and i got busy writing. If you did happen to suffer through this and make it, thanks. You now know more about Ink the Husky than most people do.
And sometimes I can't help but believe my lonliness stems from this furry brain of mine. My interest in anthro art, suiting, and especially the odd sexual tension that permeates through everything the fandom touches, causes me great confusion. I can't shake feelings of disgust and self hated and embarrassment. Yet at the same time, i feel like i am on the verge of discovering friends and joyfully finding myself within a set of characters that happen to be animals... And gay. (Sorry dad!)
When you constantly feel like a weirdo and an outcast, sometimes isolating yourself and your thoughts from friends helps life feel less dangerous. In reality, it can hurt.
I don't think anyone will really see this bit of rambling. It might not be the best place to publish it either, who knows. I saw the word journal and i got busy writing. If you did happen to suffer through this and make it, thanks. You now know more about Ink the Husky than most people do.